has anyone actually shit themselves at the lane?

[gavtheblade]

Seriously, amongst the boring wait for Phil Parkinson being unveiled as the most underwhelming appointment ever made at sufc, I had a thought that just popped in the grey matter.
Have you personally followed through whilst watching the blades?
I haven't, but im pretty sure an unfortunate individual had that I followed down the kop steps a few seasons ago.Either that,or he had sat in his own fucking bovril!

 

[ziggy4001]

Nope but I shat myself last Thursday, followed through doing this www.go-below.co.uk. Very embaressing for all involved. Recommend it though (not the shitting your self bit...).

 

[Aston max]

Cried a few times

 

[WhiteHawk]

www.go-below.co.uk

That looks excellent!

 

[Blade82]

No but made the schoolboy error of not checking if loo roll before I let one out. Thankfully in the days since mobile phones otherwise I'd have been caught with my pants down, literally...

 

[zablade]

Ken Monkou when Billy Whitehurst warned him off marking Brian Deane too closely

 

[Bladepicker]

Once went for a shit at the stadium of light 10 minutes into the second half. I tried so hard not to but thanks to lots of dodgy beer the night before I had no choice.

Took ages to carefully put about three layers of paper round the seat and a couple down the pan to stop splashback (top tip). Carefully settled down and thought I'd cracked it.

Unfortunately forgot that post half time there was about half an inch of piss on the floor where the bottom of my jeans were. Spent the rest of the game sat in piss soaked jeans. And we lost.

Not my proudest moment.

 

[JohnDenver]

Lineker once shat himself on the pitch at Wembley.

Fairly sure Chris Woods did too at BDTBL in 1991.

 

[WhiteHawk]

Lineker once shat himself on the pitch at Wembley.

Thought it was at the World Cup in Germany?

 

[JohnDenver]

Thought it was at the World Cup in Germany?

I stand corrected...

 

[WhiteHawk]

I stand corrected...

I could be wrong!

 

[Silent Blade]

Thought it was at the World Cup in Germany?

v Ireland at 1990 World Cup in Italy

 

[blade too long]

when Givens missed a penalty

 

[WorkingtonBlade]

No but made the schoolboy error of not checking if loo roll before I let one out. Thankfully in the days since mobile phones otherwise I'd have been caught with my pants down, literally...

I'd have thought there'd be something better to use than your phone. Must have been a nightmare to clean afterwards.

 

[Bladesman]

Seriously, amongst the boring wait for Phil Parkinson being unveiled as the most underwhelming appointment ever made at sufc, I had a thought that just popped in the grey matter.
Have you personally followed through whilst watching the blades?
I haven't, but im pretty sure an unfortunate individual had that I followed down the kop steps a few seasons ago.Either that,or he had sat in his own fucking bovril!

With how much stress and anxiety that is caused by watching the Blades your more likely to get constipation than the shits.

 

[Blade56]

Just don't understand any distraction including shitting myself. Rules on match day:

Food intact BEFORE the game adequate until AFTER the game. Cup games allow extra 50 mins sustinance for extra time and shootouts.
Liquid intake ditto
Test shit at 0900
1000 Football a.m. Earl grey and bikkies
Second test (or actual) shit at 1150
1330 Final siphoning of Python
Arrive car park =< 45 mins to KO
Exit car when team sheet known
Arrive at seat =<15 mins to KO
Chat to friends, (discuss team sheet) and social chit chat with Blades around me
Half time avoid scores so I can watch MOTD unaware, eat chocolate bar provided and moan about big feckin screen
Stand up and exit ground AFTER final whistle

It's just a perfect day

 

[1889]

Never needed a dump at BDTBL, but I think if I ever did, shitting my pants would be a serious option if the only alternative was using the old 1930's seatless shit pots in both original toilet blocks on the Kop.

Strange thread subject, but for the record, on the odd occasion I have had 'one at the door' my preferred pre match destination would be The Copthorne every time, high class facilities and a very pleasant ambiance. Highly recommended and well done Mr McCabe

 

[Bladesman]

Never needed a dump at BDTBL, but I think if I ever did, shitting my pants would be a serious option if the only alternative was using the old 1930's seatless shit pots in both original toilet blocks on the Kop.

Strange thread subject, but for the record, on the odd occasion I have had 'one at the door' my preferred pre match destination would be The Copthorne every time, high class facilities and a very pleasant ambiance. Highly recommended and well done Mr McCabe

There is always the reason that it's better to cause a blockage in someone else's toilet.

 

[RealMcCoy]

Never needed a dump at BDTBL, but I think if I ever did, shitting my pants would be a serious option if the only alternative was using the old 1930's seatless shit pots in both original toilet blocks on the Kop.

Strange thread subject, but for the record, on the odd occasion I have had 'one at the door' my preferred pre match destination would be The Copthorne every time, high class facilities and a very pleasant ambiance. Highly recommended and well done Mr McCabe

"one at the door"?
Surely you mean " touching cloth"

 

[Dkc]

I had a mate at school who wasn't into football but was really into sneaking into forbidden areas, so late one night we all went down to the Lane and sneaked it. It was the days when the floodlights were still in place, and my mate climbed all the way to the top of the pylon between the kop and the south stand.

He made it right to the top, but the climb was so scary that he literally shat himself when he got to the top. He was able to drop his trousers first, and in the moonlight we could all clearly see a string of turds dropping to earth from the floodlight's summit.

 

[georgebernardshaw]

Never actually followed through yet

 

[Dkc]

The story would have been a lot better better if it were Hillsborough we snuck into, I know

 

[Linz]

10/10 for encouraging a change in the avenue of discussion...

 

[Dkc]

I bet a few turtles' heads emerged in the stands this season when we've been hanging on to 1-0 leads

 

[Balham]

I bet a few turtles' heads emerged in the stands this season when we've been hanging on to 1-0 leads

Probably a few in the dugouts as well.

 

[Hartley Hare]

I once had the mis-fortune to be pooped on by the old dog. I think it was some sort of dirty protest.

Gash experience, while sleeping.

HH

 

[1889]

I once had the mis-fortune to be pooped on by the old dog. I think it was some sort of dirty protest.

Gash experience, while sleeping.

HH

That's well out of order HH, I hope you dumped her

 

[Rodders]

Had a proper turtle's head at the hone game vs Ipswich in March 2009. Fortunately, I held on until the grim death where I legged it to the pub where I was pleasantly surprised by the amenities; I thought I was probably going to catch AIDS but a) the seat was clean and b) there was adequate toilet paper. Result!

 

[TopBoy]

Never shit myself at the lane but at Orient away last season I’m been on the ale since daylight and staggered into the ground just before KO. Just before halftime I let out an almighty fart and 4 blokes that sat directly in front of me turned around. Felt like I was on The Voice!

 

[United Aren't Back.]

At the home game v Norwich, early 97, on Sunday, I was scared when warned by a,steward to stop swearing. 1976, Currie shat all over us for L..ds, in league cup. I was,scared by the Leeds scum outside but no..I never shat myself at the Lane.