What's your dullest anecdote about meeting a footballer?

[Nearly Jimmy Hagan]

I knew Brian Clough fairly well - I'm not going to say anything more - it would take all day! and he called me "son"

My sisters daughter is married to Kevin Gage - no accounting for taste - he's actually a good bloke, even if his commentaries are naff

Came out of the SS after the recent Bournemouth game & Kevin Gage was being let out of a side gate between SS & Kop, presumably he’d been doing his media stuff. He was a few steps in front of me, we walked round to Bramall Lane where I went to my car & he went straight in to the Railway!

 

[Seph_Blade]

was walking out of Northern Snooker centre in Leeds as Robert Snodgrass was walking in, he looked at me and said 'Alright' and i responded by saying 'Aye' in a fake scottish accent, to this day I don't know why.

 

[Middle Aged Blade]

Bumped into Chris Wilder whilst taking my dog for a walk in the park. It was when the team had been promoted and gone to Vegas.

Me: You didn’t fancy Vegas then?
CW: Nah

What a moment!

 

[BadgersBigToe]

Bumped into Osborn stood by the encyclopedia shelf in the library, he offered me a Werther’s original but I declined it.

 

[Billyblade]

The United badge on the front of my Man-cave bar was purchased off Facebook Marketplace from Keith Curle's girlfriend/ex (not sure just to make it even more banal)

 

[Tezza1889]

Y'see ... yeah ... but the full on wonderment of the supremely cute Felicity Kendal in dungarees covered in cowshit was more hornworthy to me.

Penelope Keith would possibly masturbate you with Marigolds on in an apron and stout shoes with a tissue at the ready, Felicity would be in and amongst the compost heap, wellies still on, dungers-down rutting like inbred peasants with a clumper like a badger's back, soil and arisings in her headscarf. Afterwards you'd lay there in the sludge drinking nettle wine and smoking a fuck off joint speaking like a pirate.

When is the international break over?

pommpey

When is the book coming out, I want a signed copy!

 

[Nah den]

His daughter was indeed called Emma Lynn. I used to drink on occasion in the Har and Hounds in Dore when Emlyn Jr was working there, decent enough lad. I also did a management relief there about 20 years ago when Emlyn Sr was a customer, and he was a right pompous twat. So far up his own arse he could see what he’d had for lunch.

I was once dumped by a lass in that pub. Emlyn and his wife sat at the next table, clearly able to hear what was going on. I didn't look at him out of pure embarrassment.

 

[coaxingstar71]

Was she married to Mike at the time?

I don't think they were together, well she said she had recently split up with someone... but then she would say that.

 

[Stevo71]

When I was a nipper I remember asking Tony Kenworthy for his autograph he replied have you got a pen i replied back no, there was a silence & off he went on his merry way ...... I felt a reyt twat

 

[Brewster Cost £70 million]

I was also at Bramall Lane when Cliff Richard had a concert there

 

[Tezza1889]

I was also at Bramall Lane when Cliff Richard had a concert there
View attachment 134932

Has posh spice (real name Katie Price) got a pierced nipple?

This will have a few of the regulars frothing at the mouth.

 

[Brewster Cost £70 million]

Has posh spice (real name Katie Price) got a pierced nipple?

This will have a few of the regulars frothing at the mouth.

Don't know what your on abart that's sir cliff

 

[Deaneandagana]

I was once dumped by a lass in that pub. Emlyn and his wife sat at the next table, clearly able to hear what was going on. I didn't look at him out of pure embarrassment.

I once dumped a girl I was seeing one evening in the Hare, alas Emlyn Hughes wasn’t in the pub that night.

 

[VolcanicAsh]

Only yesterday I was working out in the same gymnasium as a certain Uriah Rennie. In fact come to think of it I’ve worked out in the same gym as Uriah Rennie and have even sat and talked to him in the Steam Room and Sauna of the same gym.

I’m probably also quite sure that anyone who uses the same gym as me will have seen Uriah Rennie there on multiple occasions

Uri is good mates with my step-dad, met him a few times… really nice bloke.

He used to run Hillsborough Leisure Centre, First time i met him was there… while he was showering Awkward to say the least.

 

[More Bladier than thou]

I wonder if this was the same occasion I had to get between him and a lass having an 'altercation' in Republic.

Maybe, maybe i was with you, feel free to pm me your real name if you like. UTB

 

[More Bladier than thou]

Magaluf. 2001. Francis Jeffers is on holiday all on his own. He was so lonely he paid a girl i was working with £2k with to hang around with him for a week. She never even shagged him. What a fucking loser

 

[Tony_Kaufman]

This one will sound like something from Boring James Milner, but it's true.

I once sat in a vet's with my cat and Andy Reid was in there with his bulldog. I asked him if it had been stung by a bee and he said yes.

 

[Tony_Kaufman]

I walked past Jack Lester in Nottingham city centre when he was playing for the Blades. I didn't say hello.

Andy Reid's wife and child were sat on a carousel ride next to mine. I didn't say hello while I was unintentionally stood next to him. I'm guessing he must have remembered me from the vet and was ignorning me.

A bloke in my local petrol station told my son that he's a childhood friend of Didsy and high fived him for wearing a Blades shirt.

I walked past Jags and Browny on the way into Wembley stadium, but I can't remember which play off final it was. I didn't say hello.

I've sat in front of Reg and Deano at Bramall Lane and didn't say hello.

 

[Tony_Kaufman]

A not so boring Blades related story.

My mate's Dad used to coach Travis Binion at cricket and he had input with the England team. He recognised that Binion had world class potential as he was head and shoulders above everyone else in skill levels. At the time Binion was playing football and cricket.

When Binion signed for the Blades academy my mate's Dad asked Sheffield United to release Binion for cricket training twice a week so that he could keep up his practise, that way if he didn't turn professional or it didn't work out, he could fall back on cricket and England would retain a future star player. United refused and told Binion it had to be football or cricket. He chose football. My mate's Dad still knows him, as does my mate, but he always sees him as the one who got away and England's biggest loss of talent and still stands by that he would have been a world class cricketer.

 

[1889]

I reckon about late 90’s I was on holiday in Majorca and found myself on a sunbed next to Geoff Salmons. He was a real nice bloke and we had numerous conversations about the early 70’s Utd team.

Been on an EasyJet flight to Spain with Mark Hughes just after he’d been sacked by Southampton, stood next to him at the carousel as he waited for his golf clubs.

Stood behind James Beattie in a queue at Manchester airport, just after he’d retired, he was going skiing gor the first time, I was with a mate who’s a Premier League linesman who spoke to him and gleaned that information.

Was stood directly behind Danny Wilson and his family, queuing to board a flight to uk, can’t remember where from?

Saw Brian Deane in the Living Room in Leeds, I was shit faced but knew I recognised him from somewhere, was about ten foot away from asking him how, when it dawned on me who it was and luckily I managed to swiftly divert into the bogs.

First name terms with Del Geary, spent time with Chris Morgan and once had a drunken reconstruction about ‘Who’s picking fucking Lescott up?’, got Chris Wilders mobile number but never rang him, spoke to Dean Windass at a golf do and asked him about shitting in the 18th hole before the PO Final and last week Curtis Woodhouse walked passed my house with some woman, while I was filling a skip and said ‘Alright mate’ to which I replied ‘Alright’ I live in a cul-de-sac, so assume he must be a new neighbour, unless one of the existing elderly neighbours had been slagging him off on Twitter?

 

[United Aren't Back.]

John Harley and Ade Akinbiyi, both of Burnley, Jan 2007, Manchester airport with the team.
Akinbiyi was scolding players for 'not being interested in the facking money'.

Greed, thought I.
Footballer greed.

 

[United Aren't Back.]

Bumped into Osborn stood by the encyclopedia shelf in the library, he offered me a Werther’s original but I declined it.

He reads books says Callum Robinson.

 

[United Aren't Back.]

I reckon about late 90’s I was on holiday in Majorca and found myself on a sunbed next to Geoff Salmons. He was a real nice bloke and we had numerous conversations about the early 70’s Utd team.

Been on an EasyJet flight to Spain with Mark Hughes just after he’d been sacked by Southampton, stood next to him at the carousel as he waited for his golf clubs.

Stood behind James Beattie in a queue at Manchester airport, just after he’d retired, he was going skiing gor the first time, I was with a mate who’s a Premier League linesman who spoke to him and gleaned that information.

Was stood directly behind Danny Wilson and his family, queuing to board a flight to uk, can’t remember where from?

Saw Brian Deane in the Living Room in Leeds, I was shit faced but knew I recognised him from somewhere, was about ten foot away from asking him how, when it dawned on me who it was and luckily I managed to swiftly divert into the bogs.

First name terms with Del Geary, spent time with Chris Morgan and once had a drunken reconstruction about ‘Who’s picking fucking Lescott up?’, got Chris Wilders mobile number but never rang him, spoke to Dean Windass at a golf do and asked him about shitting in the 18th hole before the PO Final and last week Curtis Woodhouse walked passed my house with some woman, while I was filling a skip and said ‘Alright mate’ to which I replied ‘Alright’ I live in a cul-de-sac, so assume he must be a new neighbour, unless one of the existing elderly neighbours had been slagging him off on Twitter?

That Jimmy O'Brien 88 will still be having nightmares about Woodhouse

 

[Jan Age]

At one of the evenings a BL I was lucky enough to be sat on a table next to Brian Deane.

We both had toddlers of a similair age so ended up sharing photos of them and family days out … slightly surreal.

 

[bertieblade]

Have a friend who worked as an agent for a number of players including Ade Akinbiyi.
Got the inside line and it was no surprise about some aspects of the deal and how the selling club faxed the wrong Sheffield club

 

[Brewster Cost £70 million]

I walked past Jack Lester in Nottingham city centre when he was playing for the Blades. I didn't say hello.

Andy Reid's wife and child were sat on a carousel ride next to mine. I didn't say hello while I was unintentionally stood next to him. I'm guessing he must have remembered me from the vet and was ignorning me.

A bloke in my local petrol station told my son that he's a childhood friend of Didsy and high fived him for wearing a Blades shirt.

I walked past Jags and Browny on the way into Wembley stadium, but I can't remember which play off final it was. I didn't say hello.

I've sat in front of Reg and Deano at Bramall Lane and didn't say hello.

Bet you'd struggle to sing Lionel Richie

 

[Pollingtonblade]

Have a friend who worked as an agent for a number of players including Ade Akinbiyi.
Got the inside line and it was no surprise about some aspects of the deal and how the selling club faxed the wrong Sheffield club

Did the other Sheffield clubs fax machine work?

 

[Jimmy Fleck]

Saw Norrington-Davies in tiger works the other week, asked for a photo and he said only outside, turns out we had a couple of common mates, nice kid, done okay this season.

 

[stringjunior]

I once met Chris Wilder in Naps. I asked him what it was like playing for the club he supports. He said 'its alright'

String I think you and Hutch we're there too.

 

[LudlamBlade]

Kyle Walker and Aaron Lennon came into HiFi in Leeds when I was working there, tried to buy a full bottle of JD and got upset when they were told they had to get individual drinks like everyone else.

It was a student night.