Suggest A Shit Show feat. Ex-Blades

[The Crab]

Bournehub.

Former Blade Jeff Bourne launches a porn channel aimed at the more discerning gentleman, highlights include -

Blake Taxi - former blade Nathan Blake drives around picking up scantily clad ladies who always forget to bring their taxi fare.

Aged Ndlovu - former blade Peter Ndlovu struggles with the realities of middle age

Mcnaughty America - former blade Ken mcnaught shares his American holiday photo collection

 

[Sheff de party]

Sander Berge-rac - United’s Norwegian midfielder investigates crime across football.

Flipping Heck - Paul Heckingbottom helps to train a new intake of gymnasts by showing them how it’s done.

Guten Morgan - learn German over breakfast with three easy tapes, narrated by Gibbs-White.

Rhys’s pieces - Blades full back Norrington-Davies shares travels the country sharing his enthusiasm for jigsaws.

 

[Champagneblade]

ROBBOCOP!

In this whodunnit with a new twist, Jack Robinson stars as a detective who's never quite able to catch his man

Still wrestling with the guilt of having taken out his partner! (RND)

 

[Micky Narker]

Dellas - The big Greek stars as an olive oil executive in a world of backstabbing, greed and jealousy.

 

[Rodley]

Ries Norrington-Davies

Blades left back travels to the German wine regions to sample his favourite white wine, Riesling. Narrated by Nick “Monty” Montgomery.

 

[Rodley]

Springbok-is

Gritty film noir set in 1920s Athens which sees erstwhile detective Nikos “Monty” Montgomeros hunting down his arch nemesis and career criminal, Vasilis “”Springbok” Borbokis.

 

[Rodley]

Donis Kebab

Former Blades winger Giorgos Donis opens a new Kebab Shop on The Wicker in the midst of the Covid pandemic.

 

[247Blade]

'Would I Lie To You' with Kevin McCabe and Da Prince?

 

[Jinxy1966]

Flecks Of Paint

Footballer & amateur art critic John Fleck gives his concise, 3 word review of the works of Jackson Pollock then attempts to recreate his artwork by eating various coloured paintballs & sharting onto canvas.

 

[Rodley]

Mauriss Miner

Game show hosted by Nick “Monty” Montgomery where S24SU posters are tasked with digging up as much salacious gossip and scandal about our prospective owner as, all against the clock. Does he exist? Did he ever pay that parking fine from his summer trip to Tuscaloosa? Tune in to find out more!

 

[Tarqs]

Mauriss Miner

Game show hosted by Nick “Monty” Montgomery where S24SU posters are tasked with digging up as much salacious gossip and scandal about our prospective owner as, all against the clock. Does he exist? Did he ever pay that parking fine from his summer trip to Tuscaloosa? Tune in to find out more!

Are there any angry toilets involved?

Shit, that wouuld be Manic Mauriss Miner.

 

[Sheff de party]

North by North Wes

Blades stopper Wes Foderingham reviews every Hitchcock film in order of ascending quality.

 

[stringjunior]

BBC2 9pm

"Carry on Ndlovu-ing" - classic comedy starring Sid James and Hattie Jaques. When the "Wedded Bliss" dating agency run into trouble, they decide to raise funds with a five-a-side charity football match and draft in the diminutive Blades striker as coach. Also starring Jack Douglas, Bernard Bresslaw and Nick Montgomery as "Monty".

Is this the first appearance of Nick "Monty" Montgomery?

 

[shorehamview]

Is this the first appearance of Nick "Monty" Montgomery?

He is an international man of mystery. Nobody really knows when he first appeared, just that the character of “Monty” was played by Nick “Monty” Montgomery.

 

[Sean Thornton]

Horrid Henry

 

[BladeInIreland]

Do you Norwood.

Ollie Norwood's 5 part Netflix series on the timber industry.

 

[Grappler]

Is this the first appearance of Nick "Monty" Montgomery?

I'd need to check on IMDB, as he may have a had a few uncredited parts, prior to his meteoric rise to fame

 

[Sean Thornton]

I'd need to check on IMDB, as he may have a had a few uncredited parts, prior to his meteoric rise to fame

To be honest l’m sick of him. He’s everywhere, like Olivia Coleman and that big gormless twat off pointless!

 

[TJB.]

Resurrecting this one to alleviate the pre-season boredom.

'Oh, Navy McGoldrick!' - Ex-striker David hangs up his boots and sets sail for the seven seas, but will he put his mind at ease?

'Lease Mousset' - After failing to find a football club willing to put up with his bullshit, Mousse retrains as a letting agent with Whitehornes. Look out for episode 4 (the aptly named "At Wit's End") which features an epic argument/chase between Lys and his boss after an incident involving a tenant, a condom and a large mixed grill kebab.

 

[Gin&Juice]

The Adventures of Robin Sharp and his Merry Blades.

After a failed and violent raid in Nottingham. Local Sheffield born outlaw and his band of miscreants are banished to another season in the Sherwood Championship.

Robin S knows the tables will turn and with the aid of Fryer Sinclair and his comrade from the middle-east Azeem Abdullah is plotting his revenge whilst the Sheriff and the town of Nottingham get complacent on their one In a lifetime victory.

 

[Rodley]

Filip Ur-Reno-Quick

Big Filip Uremovic dons his hard hat and rigger boots after acquiring a Broomhill do-er upper in this fly-on-the-wall renovation series. Episode 1 starts with Filip clashing with the local Building Inspector after he mistakenly applies Croatian Fire Regulations to his proposed single storey extension. The episode ends with a drunk Filip cruising the dancefloor in Maggies before finding a consolatory shoulder to cry in the form of 39 year Rotherham divorcee, Amanda.

 

[William Large]

Enda Stevens - Enda Season.

Enda spends the summer caravanning up and down Ireland’s left flank. The series starts off promisingly with Enda successfully navigating a number of tricky campsites and winding country lanes in his da’s old Montego Estate and towing his trusty Eldis Scirocco crusader.

During the summer he bumps into Nick ‘Monty’ Montgomery who has coincidentally decided upon the Emerald Isle for his hols rather than the Australia’s west coast.

Hilarity ensues as the two families join together, with Monty and Enda both sharing endless anecdotes about their successes with limited football ability.

Joy soon descends into chaos however as the pair find themselves increasingly lost, driving down dead ends, and getting into scrapes with irate farmers as they are forced into a series of alfresco ‘emergency shits’ in nearby fields.

Alls well that ends well however and ‘Monty’ signs Enda for Central Coast Mariners and he never returns to Sheffield again.

 

[Rodley]

Harry Porter

Budget reboot of the kids classic starring Chris Porter as Harry, now retired from wizardry having carved a new career as an journeyman striker.

 

[Middle Aged Blade]

Mousse v Food

Lys Mousset travelling around the country taking on a variety of food challenges.

 

[DaveBassettsgoneonholiday]

Only Kuhls and Norses.
Former Blade Martin Kuhl tries his hand at being a footballers agent taking Sander Berge under his wing and promising him....."this time next year, we'll be millionaires"

 

[DaveBassettsgoneonholiday]

Das Boot

Crocked centre forward Ollie McBurnie demonstrates just how easy it is to be accused of GBH even when you're semi crippled.

 

[Grappler]

Jordan Slew on Jordan's Loo

Ex-Blade Jordan, gets caught short and knocks on the door of a certain Miss Katie Price, "Excuse me, Madam, any chance of using your convenience?", will it be a gold plated sensational room, or an absolute cess pit?, is Katie telling the truth when she tells the courts she is skint? Luckily, a film crew is on hand to find out.
A Nick "Monty" Montgomery Production.

 

[Tarqs]

Bergerac (pr. Berj ur ack)

Newly acquired by the porn industry, Sander Berge scours the country looking for new talent and ranks 'racks' out of ten.

 

[brownblade]

Agana's Agony Augmentations - Tony Agana looks at boob jobs gone wrong. Inappropriately explicit.

 

[Demon Blade]

Andy Barnsley's Dingle Land Tour.

Andy terrorises other road users in a white van sporting a different matalan tracksuit each week.