pommpey
THE FUTURE ... AS IT USED TO BE
- Banned
- #1
A win's a win, innit?
We spent the second half (and some of the first) with the ropes in our back and our gloves up to our temples, elbows in and shipping weak punch after weak punch from Brighton. They wanted to beat us simply because the embarrassment of being beaten by us - the Premier League's version of Izal bogroll - was a bit too much to bear. In a half time talk to my buddy at Shiregreen (who uncharacteristically had decided to skip the first half for the better past-time of sewing his ballsack skin to the saddle of his motorcycle) I suggested that Brighton may come out in the second half and more Premier League professionals amongst them would wake up to the fact that they were losing to Sheffield United. But because they were equally shit at not landing a punch which had us taking a count, the whole fucking match resembled a game which could in fact happen twelve months from now. Put it this way, next season we'd be calling tonight a 'well-earned three points', when in fact it was a scrappy kick about where we looked once again pretty fucking shite.
The formation - 3-4-3 (ish) - certainly made us look more comfortable in the first 35 minutes. We got forward and Osborn created mischief in his 'new-role', which in fact is basically just chase-arsing the ball three yards behind where play is. He might look like he's being effective, but in truth, he isn't. Brighton were well ahead of his industry and for that matter the only problems they faced were David McGoldrick shaped, simply because he owns the modicum of class a whole team should have at this level of English football. Once again for all his lack of pace, he manages to bring down and control his environment and connect effectively with other players, even if they couldn't fucking find him back at times. The more forward looking style of play at 3-4-3 suited him better even if Osborn frequently complicated the matter by veering into the left or right channels. Mark Duffy, Osborn isn't. The midfield looked passable in the literal sense rather than the footballing sense for a while until players like Lallana, Veltman and Trossard decided to stop fucking about and started to cancel anything out, starting with the kick off in the second half. It's what we've been watching all season and then when Heckingbotham decided to replace Ozzy with a stylish oak-leather suitcase with brocade lining, simulated gold attachments and a faux-hide handle you just knew the idea was to pull it all in on 5-3-2 with the usual trio of fucking lavatory bowls being bypassed and our goal under siege. When we did get it forward, it went to Ali Dia ... sorry, Oli Burke ... who despite blistering pace, still seems like he's missed his fucking vocation in the 100 yard sporran and porridge dash at the McBloater games on the misty banks of Loch Pish. He'd win that fucker. Score a goal for us? Fucking dream on.
Sure, it's three useless points to a side already down and dumped upon. I'm happy we won, but again, tonight shows us the fucking Everest sized clear out and restocking we need to be able to get the end result we want next season.
Ramsdale 6.5/10: Some really good saves, but loses a whole point for his distribution, which continues to be fucking dismal. His drop kicks are high, wide and snow-covered, and his chips to the wings play people into trouble
Baldock 5/10: Out of position, once again. Where are the usual centre backs? Where is Rodwell, Robinson, Jags and is Basham that injured? Why not play Ampadu and let Furious do what he likes to do best?
Egan 6.5/10: Fairly solid and inconspicuous display showing his gathering betterment back from injury
Bryan 5/10: Continues to be our weak link. Really panicky at times. He's fairly solid as a player, but isn't PL standard
Bogle 5.5/10: Moderate, workmanlike performance
Norwood 5/10: Not a bad outing in a better position in the first half at least. When Lundstram cam on and he became the 'pivot' he reverted to type and was invisible
Fleck 6/10: Got stuck in, for the first hour at least trying to carve up holes in the Brighton midfield but ... in honesty ... he's just not good enough, is he?
Stevens 4/10: Not really convinced at all he is suitable for any involvement in the club's future after May. Tonight he was threaded up his own arsehole by Jahanbakhshahabasham
Brewster 4/10: Marginally better performance in the first half, even if Brighton's defence were pretty pedestrian. For someone who reportedly has 'pace', have we seen this yet, at all? Second half it was 'Dad. They aint passing to me' shit
McGoldrick 7.5/10: Great outing. Class act.
Burke 2/10: Utter shite
Lundstram 1/10: Absolute shite
I was waiting for Hecky to sub McGoldrick with the wheeled attaché case in leatherette with combination locks and deep mauve satin accoutrements that is Lys fucking Mousset but I reckon he wasn't even there
pommpey
We spent the second half (and some of the first) with the ropes in our back and our gloves up to our temples, elbows in and shipping weak punch after weak punch from Brighton. They wanted to beat us simply because the embarrassment of being beaten by us - the Premier League's version of Izal bogroll - was a bit too much to bear. In a half time talk to my buddy at Shiregreen (who uncharacteristically had decided to skip the first half for the better past-time of sewing his ballsack skin to the saddle of his motorcycle) I suggested that Brighton may come out in the second half and more Premier League professionals amongst them would wake up to the fact that they were losing to Sheffield United. But because they were equally shit at not landing a punch which had us taking a count, the whole fucking match resembled a game which could in fact happen twelve months from now. Put it this way, next season we'd be calling tonight a 'well-earned three points', when in fact it was a scrappy kick about where we looked once again pretty fucking shite.
The formation - 3-4-3 (ish) - certainly made us look more comfortable in the first 35 minutes. We got forward and Osborn created mischief in his 'new-role', which in fact is basically just chase-arsing the ball three yards behind where play is. He might look like he's being effective, but in truth, he isn't. Brighton were well ahead of his industry and for that matter the only problems they faced were David McGoldrick shaped, simply because he owns the modicum of class a whole team should have at this level of English football. Once again for all his lack of pace, he manages to bring down and control his environment and connect effectively with other players, even if they couldn't fucking find him back at times. The more forward looking style of play at 3-4-3 suited him better even if Osborn frequently complicated the matter by veering into the left or right channels. Mark Duffy, Osborn isn't. The midfield looked passable in the literal sense rather than the footballing sense for a while until players like Lallana, Veltman and Trossard decided to stop fucking about and started to cancel anything out, starting with the kick off in the second half. It's what we've been watching all season and then when Heckingbotham decided to replace Ozzy with a stylish oak-leather suitcase with brocade lining, simulated gold attachments and a faux-hide handle you just knew the idea was to pull it all in on 5-3-2 with the usual trio of fucking lavatory bowls being bypassed and our goal under siege. When we did get it forward, it went to Ali Dia ... sorry, Oli Burke ... who despite blistering pace, still seems like he's missed his fucking vocation in the 100 yard sporran and porridge dash at the McBloater games on the misty banks of Loch Pish. He'd win that fucker. Score a goal for us? Fucking dream on.
Sure, it's three useless points to a side already down and dumped upon. I'm happy we won, but again, tonight shows us the fucking Everest sized clear out and restocking we need to be able to get the end result we want next season.
Ramsdale 6.5/10: Some really good saves, but loses a whole point for his distribution, which continues to be fucking dismal. His drop kicks are high, wide and snow-covered, and his chips to the wings play people into trouble
Baldock 5/10: Out of position, once again. Where are the usual centre backs? Where is Rodwell, Robinson, Jags and is Basham that injured? Why not play Ampadu and let Furious do what he likes to do best?
Egan 6.5/10: Fairly solid and inconspicuous display showing his gathering betterment back from injury
Bryan 5/10: Continues to be our weak link. Really panicky at times. He's fairly solid as a player, but isn't PL standard
Bogle 5.5/10: Moderate, workmanlike performance
Norwood 5/10: Not a bad outing in a better position in the first half at least. When Lundstram cam on and he became the 'pivot' he reverted to type and was invisible
Fleck 6/10: Got stuck in, for the first hour at least trying to carve up holes in the Brighton midfield but ... in honesty ... he's just not good enough, is he?
Stevens 4/10: Not really convinced at all he is suitable for any involvement in the club's future after May. Tonight he was threaded up his own arsehole by Jahanbakhshahabasham
Brewster 4/10: Marginally better performance in the first half, even if Brighton's defence were pretty pedestrian. For someone who reportedly has 'pace', have we seen this yet, at all? Second half it was 'Dad. They aint passing to me' shit
McGoldrick 7.5/10: Great outing. Class act.
Burke 2/10: Utter shite
Lundstram 1/10: Absolute shite
I was waiting for Hecky to sub McGoldrick with the wheeled attaché case in leatherette with combination locks and deep mauve satin accoutrements that is Lys fucking Mousset but I reckon he wasn't even there
pommpey