Accounts Time....

[Sean Thornton]

We need dat Premier League money, yo. We up in tha club tryna' make it rain wit no dough.

Chinese Dave?

 

[Sean Thornton]

It quite clearly says they are 'made up' which is what I've suspected for some time.

The worlds first funny accountancy joke.

 

[McGrath]

£5 million on administrative expenses!

Sheffield United.... we don't 'spunk munneh' on players, just paper clips

 

[Sean Thornton]

£5 million on administrative expenses!

Sheffield United.... we don't 'spunk munneh' on players, just paper clips

Other than the facts that it's not the football club so players don't come into it and the admin charge is actually three million, pretty much bang on there.......

 

[Sean Thornton]

Fill your boots. Crab Industries have had to reluctantly step aside from this deal due to a conflict of interests. Namely, a recent injection of "munneh" was received by Crab Industries to help with a temporary cash flow issue.

Your colleagues Paul, Stephen, Mike, Charles Count Carlo Samantha Turry and Jacob weren't overly impressive to be honest. Well, they were at first obviously.

 

[The Crab]

Actually that's a lie. According to Companies House, they've already been submitted to 7 May 2039!



It's Scott, daft lad.

Who the fuck has Vern been talking to then?

 

[snootyfenooty]

£5 million on administrative expenses!

Sheffield United.... we don't 'spunk munneh' on players, just paper clips

The best administrative expense I can recall was on the filing clerk in tight jeans who spent half her time bent over the photocopy machine.

 

[Worksop II]

£5 million on administrative expenses!

Sheffield United.... we don't 'spunk munneh' on players, just paper clips

Scott did borrow Seans Stapler, and didn't return it

I think the money went on making sure they all had their own

 

[Sean Thornton]

The best administrative expense I can recall was on the filing clerk in tight jeans who spent half her time bent over the photocopy machine.

?

 

[snootyfenooty]

?

View attachment 32968

WTF is he doing wearing a blue and white outfit?

 

[SwissBlade]

Actually that's a lie. According to Companies House, they've already been submitted to 7 May 20:39pm!



It's Scott, daft lad.

Very precise time

 

[norfolkblade]

The worlds first funny accountancy joke.

And original too, I've genuinely never heard that one before. The accountants union doths its cap to you BushBlade

 

[The Crab]

Your colleagues Paul, Stephen, Mike, Charles Count Carlo Samantha Turry and Jacob weren't overly impressive to be honest. Well, they were at first obviously.

Not heard from Charles and The Count for a while. I'm sure it's nothing to do with the time that Big Vern needed the Discovery hosed down very quickly.

 

[McGrath]

Other than the facts that it's not the football club so players don't come into it and the admin charge is actually three million, pretty much bang on there.......

Can you educate me a bit here. What exactly is the point of the PLC?

 

[Harrisblade]

?

View attachment 32968

Is that Vern - moonlighting?

 

[boo radley]

?

View attachment 32968

Is that the real Eida?

 

[Sean Thornton]

Can you educate me a bit here. What exactly is the point of the PLC?

Nowadays it owns the ground and the Blades Leisure Ltd share. It owes millions to Kevin McCabe and his businesses. It collects the rent from the FC and loses large sums every year. Other than having unused tax losses available that's pretty much it. As things stand it doesn't impact on the running of the football club except maybe with regard to KMc's cash funding.

It's also the money pit where shareholders have "invested" in.

 

[elgoog44]

Fill your boots. Crab Industries have had to reluctantly step aside from this deal due to a conflict of interests. Namely, a recent injection of "munneh" was received by Crab Industries to help with a temporary cash flow issue.

we needed that cash injection and glad it all went well after last time, Big Vern and Big Toni deserve a well earned rest after that.....

 

[The Crab]

we needed that cash injection and glad it all went well after last time, Big Vern and Big Toni deserve a well earned rest after that.....

They do, just wish it wasn't fucking dollars. Got some real funny looks when I took that lot down to Eurochange. Had to go round the corner to Greggs and get Vern a Steak Bake to cheer him up, he hates queuing.

 

[elgoog44]

They do, just wish it wasn't fucking dollars. Got some real funny looks when I took that lot down to Eurochange. Had to go round the corner to Greggs and get Vern a Steak Bake to cheer him up, he hates queuing.

Its better than the Yen they got last time, and I am not even going to mention the Guinean franc's they got before that, we all thought we would be millionaires to find out it had more value as toilet paper, at least it honed there skills I guess

 

[The Crab]

Its better than the Yen they got last time, and I am not even going to mention the Guinean franc's they got before that, we all thought we would be millionaires to find out it had more value as toilet paper, at least it honed there skills I guess

Omlettes, eggs and all that. Ironic thing is, we couldn't afford a fucking Omlette after we cashed in the Guinean Francs. I just bought Big Vern a "Wobbling Gru" for the Discovery dashboard instead.

 

[McGrath]

Nowadays it owns the ground and the Blades Leisure Ltd share. It owes millions to Kevin McCabe and his businesses. It collects the rent from the FC and loses large sums every year. Other than having unused tax losses available that's pretty much it. As things stand it doesn't impact on the running of the football club except maybe with regard to KMc's cash funding.

It's also the money pit where shareholders have "invested" in.

Does it benefit the club in anyway and would there ever me a scenario where it turned a profit, and if it did would it therefore have to pay a dividend?

 

[Houston_Blade]

In a very generous gesture by the McCabe's the rent was reduced year on year by £301. Well done Kev.

 

[Iffy Onuora's Shiny Head]

I wonder what the £125k additions to Tangible Assets were?

 

[Worksop II]

Just had a Cease & Disist

Apparently it is incorrect about everyone having their own Stapler

It has been pointed out that there is only 1 Stapler, but it has its own Private Jet

If someone wants to borrow it, it gets flown over to them, which explains the admin costs

 

[BushBlade]

I wonder what the £125k additions to Tangible Assets were?

Fuck it.

A new fax machine.

 

[The Crab]

Fuck it.

A new fax machine.

Crabtech (a division of Crab Industries) would like to explain. The fax machine was a bargain at £75, the rest is shipping costs and the unavoidable Crab Tax.

 

[Harry's Game]

25 pages... minimum

 

[Barney]

Just had a Cease & Disist

Apparently it is incorrect about everyone having their own Stapler

It has been pointed out that there is only 1 Stapler, but it has its own Private Jet

If someone wants to borrow it, it gets flown over to them, which explains the admin costs

Don't forget the rolls royce that does the final leg.

 

[The Crab]

25 pages... minimum

A quarter of a standard Crab Industries contract then?