My sympathies.
Ms Crab and her sister are on about "treating" their Mum and Dad for their anniversary next year. Basically a whole rabble of us going on holiday. The following, are just some of the reasons why either a massive asteriod, or one of Kim Young Uns missiles landing on my head wouldn't be such a bad thing.
Me and Ms Crab's Dad just don't get on. He's the grumpiest bastard in the world. Last time we went on holiday, by the time we'd got through security on the outbound journey, I was imagining all the different ways I could kill him.
Ms Crab's sister constantly drinks Red Bull, she stresses at the kids really easily, and we'd end up babysitting on our own holiday. Fuck that.
Their Mum is a lovely lady, real salt of the earth, but she dithers, can't make her mind up about anything, and obsesses about saving money. She'd happily spend the holiday eating microwave meals.
Last, but by no means least, they want to go All Inclusive. I can sort of understand this from the point of view of the kids. But I'd rather spend a week having my bollocks chewed by hungry dogs. It is bound to be populated by people I've spent all year saving up to get away from. The food will done on the lowest budget they can get away with. Our lot will never want to go anywhere because "it's all free here".
Fuck that, with bells on.