We are pants

[Snowman]

Won't work. Lucky pants know when they're being taken for a ride.

 

[Northyorksblade]

Can I suggest you find a lucky one of these as well.

If there were more Blades with bodies like the above, they would be much more likely to 'shag your women, drink your beer'

 

[Harrisblade]

In all of the understandable mass love-ins going on on here, one contributor to our recent unprecedented success has been harshly overlooked. I refer, of course, to my Lucky Pants.

View attachment 30875

I first wore them to the promotion winning game away at Northampton, and vowed to wear them, and crucially not wash them, at every game until the League 1 title had been secured. I guess it was my own version of Corky's '93 FA Cup beard. Only slightly less hygienic.

Having helped us achieve Target #2, and having realised the "Power of the Pants", how could I wash them before 100 points had been achieved?

And then the HUUUUGE leap to La Liga. Could we cope without my now proven Pant Power? I wasn't prepared to risk it. And I wasn't prepared to risk washing away the power either. So I hid them over the summer from my laundry-crazed girlfriend (who by this time was hunting high and low for them, armed with rubber gloves and industrial strength detergent), retrieving them from their secret hidey-hole in time for the Brentford opener.

Then disaster. I went away on work and forgot to pack The Pants. The result? The results at Boro and Cardiff. Proving conclusively, no pants no points.

The pants were back on for the Barnsley derby, the Derby non-derby, Sunlan and Notlob and the Blades were back on track.

As of today, my Pants current record is...

Northampton away WO(r)N 2-1
Port Vale away WO(r)N 3-0 [while listening on BladesPlayer]
Bradford home WO(r)N 3-0 [while watching on TV]
MK Dons away WO(r)N 3-0
Chesterfield home WO(r)N 3-2
Brentford home WO(r)N 1-0
Boro away NOT WO(r)N 0-1
Cardiff away NOT WO(r)N 0-2
Barnsley home WO(r)N 1-0
Derby home WO(r)N 3-1
Sunderland away WO(r)N 2-1 [while listening on iFollow]
Bolton away WO(r)N 1-0 [while listening on iFollow]

P 12 W(orn) 10 D 0 L(eft at home) 2

I am just about to go on my hols for two weeks, but don't worry, I'm not taking any chances. I will be wearing them on flight EK030 tomorrow afternoon (apologies to the person in seat 88B*) and, most importantly, I will be wearing them on the beach (much to my girlfriend's horror no doubt) on the 24th. Well, they could, at a push, pass for swimming trunks, no?

Does anyone else have an "unsung hero" they think is deserving of a little appreciation? Surely, seeing as how football fans are generally a lot of superstitious so and so's, someone else must have a little superstitious so and so tucked away somewhere...

(* Apologies also to anyone who sits near me on the Kop. You thought that the empty seats behind the pillar on the right were because of the restricted view . . . let's just say that's not the only reason)

A real Blade has more (much more) than just lucky pants - he has a complete lucky outfit - and God do I suffer when the weather is warm!
But my advice is keep up the good work and stick to the pants - which I'm sure you will do!

 

[TheFlashingBlade]

Thank you all for your advice re: the risks I'm taking with my testes to ensure you all go to bed happy at night.

If itsinyerblood's scaremongering is to be believed, which of course it is, then when my nads swell with an infection caused by over excitement at Billy scoring the last minute winner a week tomorrow, I shall change my name by deed poll to Billy Big Bollocks.

And for those of you sceptics doubting the existence of magic, how do you account for Magic Jack's magic hat, eh? Eh? You see, magic DOES exist (down my trousers).

 

[stringjunior]

Should have washed 'em

 

[TheFlashingBlade]

In defence of my pants, they were only actually on, and therefore active, between 2:30pm and 5:30pm. Our luck ran out at 2pm when our team sheet revealed that our only fit striker was the not very fit one.

Plus, during the second half I was cruising at an altitude of 30,000 feet and my pants were technically in 'Flight Mode' and were therefore not fully operational. You wouldn't think your phone was broken because it missed a call when it was in 'Flight Mode' mid-flight, would you? So why should a pair of pants, even ones with magical properties, be assessed differently?

No, we take it on the chin (the result, not the unwashed pants), move on and focus on the next game. With the prospect of facing the overwhelming might of the massively mighty Porkelona with only a half-fit, out of form striker and a small child up front, we need all the luck we can get, right?

 

[HodgysBrokenThumb]

You've got let go, and get the pants washed. They've lost their magic. If it's any consolation, me and my lad have lost our Saturday night meat and potato pie, which has been prepared by Mrs HBT without so much as a single home defeat since heaven knows when. It'll be beans on toast from now on...