Referee / Officials – Chirs Kavanagh. A Premier League and European competition referee. He did us 3 times last time out in the top flight and sent off McBurnie deservedly away at Burnley and Ahmedhodzic against Forest in the 1-3 home defeat. He also did the game, which we won, at Luton. Going back, he was the one that got in the way of John Fleck in the goal Aguero scored in the 2-0 defeat at Man City, a point we were well in the game. The VAR is out of his control really but interesting none of the officials saw anything wrong at the time? If that is given – no one really says much I do not think. I do not even see any real appeals. It is bizarre that they use VAR just for one game – it is strange because it is ok saying well it is an important game but then there are others that can decide promotion or relegation in the same league throughout the season. Still, we do not lose because of this even if it was a big moment -we had plenty of time to respond. The rest of the game there were four bookings – a few soft ones (Brewster and Mundle) and three late on deserved but I would say that the worst tackle of the game on BBD seemed not to be penalised? The rest of the game not sure there was that much controversy really – the ref was largely fine.
Crowd/Day Out – Part of me did not want to go back but weirdly I have tended to enjoy the days/weekends in London for the Wembley games – until the inevitable loss. Normally a time to meet family/friends and have a good drink and laugh so my memories are not all bad -even if the inevitable trudge down Wembley Way has always ended in disappointment. I went through the other losses here and we were not favourites against them lot in 1993 or against Man City or Hull in the other semis- even though they still hurt. The other playoff finals – not sure you could really say before the games, that there was a clear favourite in the Palace, Burnley or Huddersfield games. Circumstances withy injuries/suspensions/imprisonments meant we went into every one of these games with gaps to fill and options limited -particularly up front. So, this game at least we had a relatively full deck to shuffle. However, we found a new way to contrive to lose – winning, VAR denied a 2nd and then throw it away and lose in stoppage time – even later than the Hopkin one.
We drove down and parked at High Wycombe and it was a good run in really – no bad traffic and train only 25 mins in. Went for breakfast at the Blue Check Café and then onto the Torch. Lively atmosphere in here before leaving to get in around 2.30pm. Usual queues to get in and then the long escalator up to the top tier. We were front of the top tier and the view was excellent – think anywhere you sit is decent even if our experiences there are awful. It was interesting that despite being reported we had sold out or close to- that was clearly not the case. It may be that big section behind the goal is Club Wembley but Sunderland filled the equivalent section the other side. There seemed to not be an empty seat in there end and we had swathes of sections empty. There also felt a lot of day trippers there – loads were not even watching the game near me and more bothered about chatting or going down to the concourse. I do not think it was more than 30k Blades there out of the 35k allocation and it will be a lot less next time we get there. People will say pathetic support and show pictures of the empty seats but I think so many are really done with the place. The fact we were so quiet summed it up – even when we were winning I thought. Next time we get there, we will struggle to take more than 20K I feel. It might not be for a long time of course – you never know.
I felt that the atmosphere was subdued in the United end – Sunderland fans seemed much louder in comparison but nerves clearly played a part. It was loud on both goals (I went mad on the 2nd but then it was disallowed of course) but I saw the look in people faces around this time and you sensed there was a genuine thought of ‘We have done it!’ Of course, this club never fails to find new ways to let you down. 10 playoffs and 7 defeats at Wembley is really something almost laughable. Wilder said he does not believe in the hoodoo and that was nonsense but at this stage, we have to think it is a thing and psychologically there seems a real feeling we simply cannot win at Wembley or win the playoffs. I do not think any fan will believe we will win the playoffs or at Wembley if we get there again. The facts back this up, regardless of whom the manager/players are. We seems to have a really weak mentality as a club (it’s not the fans fault -they should be incidental to it – even though some may say it seeps through). Wilder talked about mentality monsters but we are anything but as shown today. We have a reputation as a real choker club and it is deserved sadly. Yesterday was totally crushing. As the late winner went in, I looked round and people were stunned. It seemed unbelievable it was happening again. There was a mixture of pain and anger as the manager/players had it in control but once again blew it.
We trooped away down the stairwell after stairwell at the end (seemed to take an eternity and felt like a walk to hell as the wife said) and then emerged as we heard the fireworks going off (had this noise so many times of other teams celebrating as we leave) and barely a word was said on the way home. It felt like an absolute nightmare and as much as people say ‘get over it/wouldn’t want some of our fans in the trenches’ it is hard not to feel as we do. After a night’s sleep- I thought I may be more reflective today but it felt even worse. I keep going through every moment of where it went wrong but need to just bury it but will take a long time to get over this and my motivation for football and next season will take a long time to get back. At times this football club makes me so happy but I genuinely uttered the words in my head, ‘Just f**k off United. F**k off.’ That is how it got me. Why cannot they just win one game at Wembley and give us one day of joy – a night where we could go to the pubs and celebrate? It just keeps happening and to me rather than getting easier, it gets more painful each time. I know there is a lot of talk about manager/players etc but I am struggling to even think about that or even next season. I feel like I am grieving – which sounds ridiculous – it is just a game and when you think of things that have happened (Baldock, Maddy, Johnny from Shoreham View and so many more) you do get some perspective but it bloody hurts this morning.
I was unsure whether to a report and maybe should have skulked off like I did yesterday but thought I would – bit of therapy maybe. I also have wrote an end of season review which I will send out from early next week (probably start around Tuesday and that is an in-depth analysis of the season) but I know some will not want to read it – I understand that after the way things finished – but it’s mostly wrote so I will put it out there.
I am off to Paul Heaton in a bit and to be honest, the last place on earth I probably want to be (after Wembley) is Bramall Lane. I will go along but not sure I will be in the mood to sing, ‘Happy Hour!’ after yesterday!
Anyway, ….I will of course be back with more tedious reports and hopefully feel better when August rolls along but that feels a long time away!