Things I'd like to see abolished next season...

[Cerberus Blade]

1, The mandatory hand-shake at the start of the game.

What a farce this is. Both teams lining up with mascots to do a little hand-shaking parade, before peeling away to run towards their respective fans. Never mind all this hand-shaking bollocks - it means nothing - just let them run out and greet the fans first. They can shake hands with the other team at the end of the game - if they're still friends?

2. Players kicking the ball out of play when a player is injured.

On the face of it, it may seem to be a gentlemanly and rather sporting gesture, when a player kicks the ball out of play if another player is injured. But actually, it's not the player's job to do that. The referee and his officials are responsible for halting play if a player is injured and needs medical attention. The players should, by all means, bring it to the referee's attention if a player is injured, but it is not their decision to stop the game by kicking the ball out of play. The problem is, what started out as probably a very sporting gesture, is now so much misused and abused by some players, to waste time. We pay to watch 90 minutes of football. On average the ball is in play less than 60 minutes. Here's one little time-wasting tactic we could do away with.

3. Players going off the pitch to come back on again.

It's about time they stopped this little ritual as well isn't it? This is another stupid time-waster. Making a player, who's gone down injured, go off the pitch, and be re-introduced again before he can resume. It's really this simple, if a player is injured, then gerroff the pitch. If a player isn't injured, then gerrup and gerron we it. Let play carry on around 'em whilst they are sprawled out on the pitch with their fake injuries - it won't matter. They'll soon get up again when they realise that the game is carrying on without them.

I'm sure there are others, but I'll leave it at that for now!

 

[Ball_Sup (Phil)]

Minutes silences
"It is with sadness...." PA & scoreboard announcements
Clapping in the 27th minute
& other Death Gazette activities
It's Football FFS...

 

[ShockingBadBuy]

Refs collecting the ball from a podium as they walk out.

Steve Claridge.

 

[Pinchy]

Kicking the ball out of play is a source of anger and frustration. When it happens it should be made clear that the game resumes in the normal way with no expectation of the ball being returned to sender.

 

[Bashar Al Asaba]

Cunts being allowed entry to the ground 20 minutes late and fucking things up for the rest of us because they simply had to have one more pint at 2:55pm.

Cunts being allowed to block my view because the dozy bastards got up to leave before the whistle then decide to loiter around instead. Gormless pricks.

 

[Scooter_mcgavin]

Refs collecting the ball from a podium as they walk out.

Steve Claridge.

What a farce that is, with the camera zoomed in on the ball.....

It'll be a jet of air keeping it aloft next....

Then it'll be delivered by fucking drone....

 

[Scooter_mcgavin]

People attempting to throw smoke bombs onto the away end knowing there's about 100ft of fucking netting preventing it, thus resulting in the GLUT getting sore eyes.

 

[Ricky]

Referees who can't add on the correct amount of time.

Referees who can't understand that stoppages in added time are still stoppages.

Obstruction when the ball's rolling out of play.

 

[DaleHillBlade]

VAR

 

[raul]

Jack Grealish.

 

[Bashar Al Asaba]

People attempting to throw smoke bombs onto the away end knowing there's about 100ft of fucking netting preventing it, thus resulting in the GLUT getting sore eyes.

I agree, the netting should be removed.

 

[mattbianco1]

Sheffield Wednesday

 

[Scooter_mcgavin]

I agree, the netting should be removed.

You can still piss through it.

 

[Bashar Al Asaba]

The discriminatory "Family Enclosure" status of the John Street stand.

 

[nopigfansintown]

The new interpretation of the offside rule resulting in the assistant waiting to flag somebody who's miles offside because they haven't yet touched the ball.An inexorable wait which is totally unneccessary.Can't we have the old offside rule back?

The referee not booking people who stop quick free kicks.The rule is very clear: retreat ten yards. Why players don't just kick the ball as hard as possible at the cheat in front - ala Michael Brown - is beyond me.Mandatory booking.

 

[JohnDenver]

Minutes silences
"It is with sadness...." PA & scoreboard announcements
Clapping in the 27th minute
& other Death Gazette activities
It's Football FFS...

I think Gary Sinclair is of the opinion that the football stadium has replaced the church as a place of communal expression of grief.

 

[JackSUFC]

Sky rearranging every other Saturday 3pm kick-off. Think we had more non-Saturday 3pm games at the Lane than we did last season. They've already changed the opening game FFS.

 

[Bashar Al Asaba]

The 'Safety Advisory Twats Group'.

 

[Pinchy]

Idiots shouting ‘shoot’ whenever the ball is within forty yards of the opposition goal, regardless of whether the player required to ‘shoot’ has any momentum, angle, view or prospect of doing so.

People getting het up about corners despite incontrovertible evidence that they are rarely productive for any team.

 

[DI36O]

People who imply they're interested in the game yet routinely leave a finely poised match the moment the scoreboard goes up, presumably so they can get to their car in time for the more appealing Praise or Grumble.

 

[Pinchy]

People who imply they're interested in the game yet routinely leave a finely poised match the moment the scoreboard goes up, presumably so they can get to their car in time for the more appealing Praise or Grumble.

They’ve been to see ‘The Sixth Sense’ a dozen times and still don’t know he’s a fucking ghost...

 

[Ball_Sup (Phil)]

I think Gary Sinclair is of the opinion that the football stadium has replaced the church as a place of communal expression of grief.

The thing is - it's a self fulfilling prophecy.
People see & hear someone's Late Uncle Sid being mentioned one week, so they email in a month later about their own Uncle Alf - and repeat.
You hear a smattering of clapping in the 37th. The fellow next to you joins in. "What's it for Mate?"
"Don't know sorry" - yet, he's still clapping.
Stop ALL this caper now.
And in case anyone thinks I'm a Killjoy. What? I'm a Killmisery.

 

[BigBed]

CHANSIRI and D-TAXI.

 

[gavtheblade]

Losing.

 

[HodgysBrokenThumb]

Idiots shouting ‘shoot’ whenever the ball is within forty yards of the opposition goal, regardless of whether the player required to ‘shoot’ has any momentum, angle, view or prospect of doing so.

People getting het up about corners despite incontrovertible evidence that they are rarely productive for any team.

For the moment, let's exempt England from the excitement over corners. As long as other teams are dumb enough to wrestle Kane to the floor with VAR working, we can get excited. And perhaps exempt Belgium fans, when the opposition get a corner...

 

[Eddiecolquhounsleg]

1, The mandatory hand-shake at the start of the game.

What a farce this is. Both teams lining up with mascots to do a little hand-shaking parade, before peeling away to run towards their respective fans. Never mind all this hand-shaking bollocks - it means nothing - just let them run out and greet the fans first. They can shake hands with the other team at the end of the game - if they're still friends?

2. Players kicking the ball out of play when a player is injured.

On the face of it, it may seem to be a gentlemanly and rather sporting gesture, when a player kicks the ball out of play if another player is injured. But actually, it's not the player's job to do that. The referee and his officials are responsible for halting play if a player is injured and needs medical attention. The players should, by all means, bring it to the referee's attention if a player is injured, but it is not their decision to stop the game by kicking the ball out of play. The problem is, what started out as probably a very sporting gesture, is now so much misused and abused by some players, to waste time. We pay to watch 90 minutes of football. On average the ball is in play less than 60 minutes. Here's one little time-wasting tactic we could do away with.

3. Players going off the pitch to come back on again.

It's about time they stopped this little ritual as well isn't it? This is another stupid time-waster. Making a player, who's gone down injured, go off the pitch, and be re-introduced again before he can resume. It's really this simple, if a player is injured, then gerroff the pitch. If a player isn't injured, then gerrup and gerron we it. Let play carry on around 'em whilst they are sprawled out on the pitch with their fake injuries - it won't matter. They'll soon get up again when they realise that the game is carrying on without them.

I'm sure there are others, but I'll leave it at that for now!

Point one - agree entirely. This was usually confined to International matches or the FA Cup final. Totally unnecessary and there only for the cameras

Point two - The referee is the sole arbiter of whether someone is injured enough for the game to be stopped. If the ref does stop play the game should be restarted with a proper bounce up (preferably with two ugly defenders trying to kick the shins off each other). The injured party should also leave the pitch for five minutes for the poor dear to fully recover from their "injury"

Point three - If point two is not applied then why not allow the trainer (paramedic, doctor, hair stylist - take your pick) onto the pitch and let play continue like Rugby League and Union. I can guarantee that 90% of "injuries" would either be eliminated from the game or the recovery period would be about 20 seconds.

 

[Balham]

Mandatory seating.

 

[HodgysBrokenThumb]

From the beginning of November to end of February, players who celebrate a goal by taking off their shirts should be made to play bare-topped for all remaining games in that period. They can have the shirt colours and number painted on their upper bodies.

 

[South Bucks]

Netting over our empty seats at BDTBL when other clubs don't have to.
Would like to know from the authorities what would need to be done to fix this and if we can do it e.g. netting to stop stuff being thrown or plate glass barriers like at the world cup etc.

 

[cahill]

Captain Blade, flag waving children greeting the teams, verbose Gary Sinclair ( or whoever he is), music as teams enter the field. Agree with OP re: handshakes at start.