The Stir’s description of Burke

[Bell4]

“Aged 24 and capped 13 times by his country, Burke is viewed as one of the most naturally gifted players in the English Football League.”

I know this paper is not well liked, nor rated, on here. But just wow.

Did James Shield write that?

No - Oli did

 

[Gretsch Blade]

Well played James, take a bow....

 

[Bath Blade]

Adorma Traore may be a great player. I'm on about Adama, the one who plays for Wolves...... just watch him next time, he is shocking for Prem level....

I remember how much he terrorised us when we played them in the prem, until we worked out that there was no end product and we could let him do what he wanted.

 

[Stevo]

“Aged 24 and capped 13 times by his country, Burke is viewed as one of the most naturally gifted players in the English Football League.”

I know this paper is not well liked, nor rated, on here. But just wow.

Naturally gifted players of tiddlywinks??

 

[Plymouthblade]

Geoff SWFC (@GeoffSWFC) Tweeted: “So Darren, what went wrong today?” #swfc https://t.co/6i7RGG6vlA

 

[GVBlade]

Did James Shield write that?

James Shield would write: Oliver Burke, the Sheffield United player, now aged 24, who has been capped 13 times by his country, Scotland, is viewed by some as one of the most gifted players in the English Football League, the organisation that controls football between the Premier League and the non-league, making up the football league.
He frequently writes things like: Sheffield United, the Bramall Lane club.......
He's like that person in your exams that puts his hands up for extra sheets of paper, padding out his piece, without actually saying very much.

 

[steve26272]

Adorma Traore may be a great player. I'm on about Adama, the one who plays for Wolves...... just watch him next time, he is shocking for Prem level....

Traore is statistically worse than Burke.

based on the fact it’s taken 6 times as many games to achieve the same goals and assist as Oli

 

[Nesh Blade]

Traore is statistically worse than Burke.

based on the fact it’s taken 6 times as many games to achieve the same goals and assist as Oli

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Have we tried covering Burke with baby oil?

 

[Speedracer]

I do have a sneaking admiration for Burke in that he’s pulled off at professional level the same con trick I pulled off with various school teams and pub level teams that if you could sprint fast it was worth giving you a few games despite you not being very good. Kudos to him that He has pulled the wool over so many managers eyes.

Is that you "D'Artagnan"?

 

[Champagneblade]

“Aged 24 and capped 13 times by his country, Burke is viewed as one of the most naturally gifted players in the English Football League.”

I know this paper is not well liked, nor rated, on here. But just wow.

To be fair you've not included the full quote. You missed this bit:

Said his Mum.

 

[Auld Reekie Blade]

“Aged 24 and capped 13 times by his country, Burke is viewed as one of the most naturally gifted players in the English Football League.”

He may have been capped 13 times but he certainly isn’t viewed as that up here. As my son said today, “if you can’t score in SPFL with such giants as Hamilton and Ross County you’re definitely going to have issues in the EPL and Championship!” He’s probably got a point.

 

[John Street West Terrace]

The board have said to the The Star we’ll go Dutch with u you if u can help us shift Forest Gump

 

[Revolution]

“Aged 24 and capped 13 times by his country, Burke is viewed as one of the most naturally gifted players in the English Football League.”

I know this paper is not well liked, nor rated, on here. But just wow.

I have heard the Star’s sports editor, Chris Holt, express a similar opinion on the Stars Sheffield United podcast. He said something like save for his finishing Burke is very technically gifted.

This was the point at which I concluded that Chris Holt has either never seen Burke play, or has no idea what he’s talking about.

 

[knowsnowt]

Burke is the only human that can outrun an attacking wasp. FACT!

 

[mancunianblade]

Id much rather the press talk him up than be honest, we are trying to offload him, don't really want the narrative to be overtly negative not that clubs scout players based on press opinion but still

 

[Micky Narker]

Will he get sold today dad?

 

[Cheesebored]

Have we tried covering Burke with baby oil?

That's crude.

 

[Edgar Allan Poo]

Have we tried covering Burke with baby oil?

Tried it, he wouldn't stand still long enough.

 

[Deadly_D'Jaffo]

 

[Trigger Blade]

That reminds me of the WBA fan’s description of him as being like a toddler chasing a balloon

 

[blade too long]

“Aged 24 and capped 13 times by his country, Burke is viewed as one of the most naturally gifted players in the English Football League.”

hes a classically trained violinist . didnt know that

 

[metalblade]

 

[Alan Birchenall's hair]

Traore is statistically worse than Burke.

based on the fact it’s taken 6 times as many games to achieve the same goals and assist as Oli

View attachment 127440View attachment 127441

Sure, lets all be ruled by Infogol. Are you saying that Burke is better than Traore? Traore came on for the last 20 at Old Trafford the other night and turned the defence inside out, before putting in the cross that led to their goal. Jack O'Connell rated him as the toughest player he's ever played against. He's a winger not a striker. He is not obviously perfect or he'd be playing for Man City, but for fuck's sake, to rate him as a lesser player than shitty Oli Burke is just plain bonkers. I'd love him to be playing for us.
Tip - watch some football rather than stats sites.

 

[Balham]

Sure, lets all be ruled by Infogol. Are you saying that Burke is better than Traore? Traore came on for the last 20 at Old Trafford the other night and turned the defence inside out, before putting in the cross that led to their goal. Jack O'Connell rated him as the toughest player he's ever played against. He's a winger not a striker. He is not obviously perfect or he'd be playing for Man City, but for fuck's sake, to rate him as a lesser player than shitty Oli Burke is just plain bonkers. I'd love him to be playing for us.
Tip - watch some football rather than stats sites.

Pretty sure steve26272 was taking the piss. Neither Burke (2+1 league appearances) nor Traoré (10+8 appearances) has registered a goal or assist this season.

 

[Sheff de party]

Traore is statistically worse than Burke.

based on the fact it’s taken 6 times as many games to achieve the same goals and assist as Oli

View attachment 127440View attachment 127441

Traore is ten times the player Burke is.

I went to the 1-1 draw with Wolves in the first Prem season and none of our lot could handle him. In fact, the tactic became “take it in turns to foul him, switching when you get booked.”

From what I’ve seen, if Burke wasn’t so fast, he wouldn’t have made it as a footballer.

 

[Withington Blade]

The article can say he's a once in a generation player if it pushes along the transfer.

I’d argue that he is a once in a generation player, although sadly for us/him, not in a positive sense. I have been watching professional football since the 80s and had never seen one of our strikers shoot only for the ball to go out for a throwing to the opponent. Burke managed this several times last season. I genuinely don’t like to ridicule one of our own players, he’s doing his best and is probably a decent human being. All of that said, if there is an opportunity to offload him, it would be best for both parties.

 

[steve26272]

Pretty sure steve26272 was taking the piss. Neither Burke (2+1 league appearances) nor Traoré (10+8 appearances) has registered a goal or assist this season.

 

[bakeblade]

Burke is the only human that can outrun an attacking wasp. FACT!

Wes confirmed in his Q and As that Burke is the fastest runner in the squad, he also said Burke and Moose get the most fines.
Moose I can understand, but what's Burke getting fined for?
Crimes against fashion?
Impersonating a footballer?

 

[raimond]

“Aged 24 and capped 13 times by his country, Burke is viewed as one of the most naturally gifted players in the English Football League.”

In fairness though to James Shield, it can't be easy this journalism lark and I've not seen anyone else here try and phrase it any better.

Let's see-

"Aged 24 and capped 13 times by his country, Burke is viewed as the fastest pudding basin haired, luminous clothes wearing Lloyd Christmas look alike, and most likely player to make fans go "Fuckinellllllllll" whilst running it straight out of play, in the English Football League".

 

[Sheff de party]

In fairness though to James Shield, it can't be easy this journalism lark and I've not seen anyone else here try and phrase it any better.

Let's see-

"Aged 24 and capped 13 times by his country, Burke is viewed as the fastest pudding basin haired, luminous clothes wearing Lloyd Christmas look alike, and most likely player to make fans go "Fuckinellllllllll" whilst running it straight out of play, in the English Football League".

Haha. I’m a qualified journalist and the only thing I would change is adding a couple of hyphens.

Superb work sir.