LudlamBlade
UTB
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- Jan 30, 2020
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It doesn't take a genius to see that there's a big issue with recruitment at the club, most of the fanbase can see it and it's being reflected in the performances we're seeing on the pitch.
I've seen loads of posts on here recently that say something like "who are our recruitment team?" and "who signed off on all this?" and other such perfectly sensible statements.
With that, I thought I'd have a bit of a look and break down what we know about our recruitment team.
It took bloody ages (no AI here thank you very much) and it might be a bit dull but if you're interested, here it is...
WHO IS OUR RECRUITMENT TEAM?
Going from the "backroom staff" section on the club website, we know that this is our main recruitment team...
YES BUT WHO ARE THEY?
Let's have a look...
HEAD OF RECRUITMENT - MIKE ALLEN
One of the old gang, was Head of Data Analysis at the club for 16 years before leaving in 2021 when he followed Wilder to Boro (and Watford) before coming back when Hoyland did.
He has an astonishing track record in the transfer market!
Is this really the man we want as HEAD OF RECRUITMENT? That's hardly a glittering portfolio of signings...
Granted, this is a bit better...but still...HEAD OF RECRUITMENT?!
I'd personally rather see the club move forward with a plan of genuine progress, than go back to someone who was here for 16 years and looks (from the outside) like a serious "jobs for the boys hire".
Talking of jobs for the boys, we move on to a familiar face...
CHIEF SCOUT - JAMIE HOYLAND
Qualifications : being a proper Bladey Blade.
Most will know who he is, but for those that don't, he retired 27 years ago (last century) after a largely underwhelming playing career...
Before embarking on a largely underwhelming coaching career...
Again, someone who worked for the club 13 14 years ago (and resigned after 6 months might I add) so there are still no signs of any progressive thinking.
BUT WHAT ABOUT HIS TIME AT EVERTON, THAT LOOKS SUCCESSFUL ENOUGH?
A reasonable question! On paper, his 7 years at Everton with a promotion to a senior role looks very impressive.
But let's look at Everton's signings during his time as "European Senior Scout" ...
It's fair to say there's a less than 50% strike rate there, and includes some absolutely monumental whoppers.
Either way, it doesn't exactly scream Chief Scout material...especially when you consider that Everton went from consistent mid-table finishes to consistent relegation battles during his tenure.
Again...CHIEF SCOUT...a man who hasn't played football this century and hasn't really pulled any trees up since embarking on a coaching and scouting career.
Now we're on to the ensemble cast, this is where it gets really fun...
LEAD RECRUITMENT ANALYST & SCOUT COORDINATOR - ALEX DELVES
He knows more about football than us lot, but it hardly screams "progressive club aiming at top half Championship finishes and ultimately promotion to the Premier League"
FIRST TEAM HEAD OF ANALYSIS - JOE STEPHENSON
Credit where credit is due, here's someone with some actual football pedigree, even if it is a bit...meh
But wait...what?
How has he managed to have a Senior Analyst role for two teams that have both been relegated IN THE SAME SEASON?!
It'd almost be impressive, if it wasn't for the fact that he's now in that same role for us.
Very Halloween.
FIRST TEAM PERFORMANCE ANALYST - LIAM MCLAUGHLIN
All very underwhelming.
And finally...
FIRST TEAM TRAINING AND INDIVIDUALS ANALYST - MUKESH TALWAR
Again, there is at least some footballing experience, although 6 years at Birmingham when they were (checks notes) in consistent relegation battles is not exactly inspiring.
So there you have it (if you've made it this far) then that's the recruitment team responsible for the current squad.
An absolute cast of heroes fit to rival the avengers themselves, made up of...
• Previous interns and academy lads from the club who are back after many years to sort the culture out.
• One of Wilder's mates who follows him to every job...but he found Brewster, Lowe AND Burke so he must be good!
• A fella who managed to successfully analyse two teams towards relegation in the same season...and even the same division!
• A lecturer from Northumbria University.
• A couple of lower league plodders.
• And Everton's "Senior European Scout" from one of the worst periods in the transfer market AND the league in their history.
Is there any wonder we're sat looking a team of over the hill, one-last-payday, relegation riddled journeymen with no resale value whatsoever and no visible plans for the future in sight?
For a club that is supposedly targeting top end Championship finishes and eventually promotion to the Premier League...I'd say it's pretty embarrassing.
If you made it this far, you're almost as sad as I am...congratulations.
I've seen loads of posts on here recently that say something like "who are our recruitment team?" and "who signed off on all this?" and other such perfectly sensible statements.
With that, I thought I'd have a bit of a look and break down what we know about our recruitment team.
It took bloody ages (no AI here thank you very much) and it might be a bit dull but if you're interested, here it is...
WHO IS OUR RECRUITMENT TEAM?
Going from the "backroom staff" section on the club website, we know that this is our main recruitment team...
YES BUT WHO ARE THEY?
Let's have a look...
HEAD OF RECRUITMENT - MIKE ALLEN
One of the old gang, was Head of Data Analysis at the club for 16 years before leaving in 2021 when he followed Wilder to Boro (and Watford) before coming back when Hoyland did.
He has an astonishing track record in the transfer market!
Is this really the man we want as HEAD OF RECRUITMENT? That's hardly a glittering portfolio of signings...
Granted, this is a bit better...but still...HEAD OF RECRUITMENT?!
I'd personally rather see the club move forward with a plan of genuine progress, than go back to someone who was here for 16 years and looks (from the outside) like a serious "jobs for the boys hire".
Talking of jobs for the boys, we move on to a familiar face...
CHIEF SCOUT - JAMIE HOYLAND
Qualifications : being a proper Bladey Blade.
Most will know who he is, but for those that don't, he retired 27 years ago (last century) after a largely underwhelming playing career...
Before embarking on a largely underwhelming coaching career...
Again, someone who worked for the club 13 14 years ago (and resigned after 6 months might I add) so there are still no signs of any progressive thinking.
BUT WHAT ABOUT HIS TIME AT EVERTON, THAT LOOKS SUCCESSFUL ENOUGH?
A reasonable question! On paper, his 7 years at Everton with a promotion to a senior role looks very impressive.
But let's look at Everton's signings during his time as "European Senior Scout" ...
It's fair to say there's a less than 50% strike rate there, and includes some absolutely monumental whoppers.
Either way, it doesn't exactly scream Chief Scout material...especially when you consider that Everton went from consistent mid-table finishes to consistent relegation battles during his tenure.
Again...CHIEF SCOUT...a man who hasn't played football this century and hasn't really pulled any trees up since embarking on a coaching and scouting career.
Now we're on to the ensemble cast, this is where it gets really fun...
LEAD RECRUITMENT ANALYST & SCOUT COORDINATOR - ALEX DELVES
He knows more about football than us lot, but it hardly screams "progressive club aiming at top half Championship finishes and ultimately promotion to the Premier League"
FIRST TEAM HEAD OF ANALYSIS - JOE STEPHENSON
Credit where credit is due, here's someone with some actual football pedigree, even if it is a bit...meh
But wait...what?
How has he managed to have a Senior Analyst role for two teams that have both been relegated IN THE SAME SEASON?!
It'd almost be impressive, if it wasn't for the fact that he's now in that same role for us.
Very Halloween.
FIRST TEAM PERFORMANCE ANALYST - LIAM MCLAUGHLIN
All very underwhelming.
And finally...
FIRST TEAM TRAINING AND INDIVIDUALS ANALYST - MUKESH TALWAR
Again, there is at least some footballing experience, although 6 years at Birmingham when they were (checks notes) in consistent relegation battles is not exactly inspiring.
So there you have it (if you've made it this far) then that's the recruitment team responsible for the current squad.
An absolute cast of heroes fit to rival the avengers themselves, made up of...
• Previous interns and academy lads from the club who are back after many years to sort the culture out.
• One of Wilder's mates who follows him to every job...but he found Brewster, Lowe AND Burke so he must be good!
• A fella who managed to successfully analyse two teams towards relegation in the same season...and even the same division!
• A lecturer from Northumbria University.
• A couple of lower league plodders.
• And Everton's "Senior European Scout" from one of the worst periods in the transfer market AND the league in their history.
Is there any wonder we're sat looking a team of over the hill, one-last-payday, relegation riddled journeymen with no resale value whatsoever and no visible plans for the future in sight?
For a club that is supposedly targeting top end Championship finishes and eventually promotion to the Premier League...I'd say it's pretty embarrassing.
If you made it this far, you're almost as sad as I am...congratulations.
Are you watching, are you watching, are you watching, Danny Hall?
