Barney
Well-Known Member
I was walking home from the match at BDBL when my mate says to me "did you know they were selling half and half scarves outside the ground there?". I stopped, turned to him and asked "whereabouts you heard that, pal?" as he had been with me all game. He said the guy running the stall had just set up and seemed to be making decent money, to which my natural reaction was to wish good luck to the lad. We went back to get one but afterwards I noticed a green stitching making the whole thing quite unsightly. "Similar to the colour of our Desso that". "There's no doubt that pitch was fucking unnecessary", I thought. It was quite expensive that scarve too, I didnt realise how much I'd paid out for it until later on. "Where's all mi fucking money gone", I exclaimed.
I couldn't stop thinking about how I wished I'd got a jumper from the club shop instead, something to drape over the shoulder when it's too warm, or when you're in pubs and you need something to throw at footballers eating lollipops.
Anyway, off we went to the pub. Later on a guy starts kicking off and gets thrown out. "Who owns this freehold?, Not you, so fuck off" said the landlord. What made it funnier was that, strangely, he walked into a flock of geese on his way out who flew off in a weird formation. Anyway, we sat there and got talking about technology and how it has advanced. My mate brought up the example of fax machines, and said he's glad to see the back of them for the most part. I disagreed, stating that they were decent and usually quite reliable for documents you need quickly.
As we were walking out of the pub, we saw a fight between two guys. One of them went down and looked to be holding his back, it looked as if he had been punched in the kidney area by the Blades fan. Typical, I thought.
On we went and I realised I must have had far more pints than I thought I had, I was quite unsteady on my feet. My mate agreed, saying he thought he'd only seen me drink 2 pints and that the rest must have been unseen work, as he put it. "I'm going to be hungover tomorrow", I said. "Well, as long as you don't feel as bad as Beattie must have felt when we had the flu, you should be reyt", he replied. "I feel like I've had several gallons of magnet", I said. He stopped me in my tracks as he laughed histerically. "Have you been singing fucking magnet all this time?, you dumb cunt it's maggots". Just as we'd forgot about that little argument some pisshead bloke walking behind chimes in...
"That reminds me, do either of you two know how to get the GCB ringtone on this nokia 3210 of mine?"
We finally got back to chill out and watch MOTD. Just as I started to nod off, I was woken by a faint whispering voice from across the room...
"ere mate, did we ever sign that Sam Morsy?"
I couldn't stop thinking about how I wished I'd got a jumper from the club shop instead, something to drape over the shoulder when it's too warm, or when you're in pubs and you need something to throw at footballers eating lollipops.
Anyway, off we went to the pub. Later on a guy starts kicking off and gets thrown out. "Who owns this freehold?, Not you, so fuck off" said the landlord. What made it funnier was that, strangely, he walked into a flock of geese on his way out who flew off in a weird formation. Anyway, we sat there and got talking about technology and how it has advanced. My mate brought up the example of fax machines, and said he's glad to see the back of them for the most part. I disagreed, stating that they were decent and usually quite reliable for documents you need quickly.
As we were walking out of the pub, we saw a fight between two guys. One of them went down and looked to be holding his back, it looked as if he had been punched in the kidney area by the Blades fan. Typical, I thought.
On we went and I realised I must have had far more pints than I thought I had, I was quite unsteady on my feet. My mate agreed, saying he thought he'd only seen me drink 2 pints and that the rest must have been unseen work, as he put it. "I'm going to be hungover tomorrow", I said. "Well, as long as you don't feel as bad as Beattie must have felt when we had the flu, you should be reyt", he replied. "I feel like I've had several gallons of magnet", I said. He stopped me in my tracks as he laughed histerically. "Have you been singing fucking magnet all this time?, you dumb cunt it's maggots". Just as we'd forgot about that little argument some pisshead bloke walking behind chimes in...
"That reminds me, do either of you two know how to get the GCB ringtone on this nokia 3210 of mine?"
We finally got back to chill out and watch MOTD. Just as I started to nod off, I was woken by a faint whispering voice from across the room...
"ere mate, did we ever sign that Sam Morsy?"
