Suggest A Shit Show feat. Ex-Blades

[stringjunior]

60 seconds to tell me that? - wrong hobby son

Don't "son" me boy.

Fight fight fight.......

 

[Alfreton14Blade]

"Marcus Williams Ate My Hamster..."

Not only a shit footballer, but a zoophagomaniac too.

 

[GreasyChipBeattie]

We scour the country to find 2 identically useless football players.
This week features Dean Hammond and Martin Woolford in 'Match of the Day'

 

[Grappler]

Sky 1 9pm

A League Of Their Own - this week, team captains Dean Hammond and Martin Woolford are joined by Jose Baxter, Jay McEveley, Florent Cuvelier, and Mark Howard, who, upon failing to find paid employment in football, decide to form "A League Of Their Own", your host as always, Nick, "Monty" Montgomery.

 

[georgebernardshaw]

Fight fight fight.......

Trust me, I'm scared

 

[Grappler]

Trust me, I'm scared

"Trust Me, I'm Scared!" - pilot for a new sitcom, when young Nigel Clough inherits a team of winners, he somehow ends up in the Championship!, Now he really has to prove himself, as the lad himself says, "Trust Me, I'm Scared!", Starring Nigel Clough as "Nigel", Burton Albion as "The Burton Brewers" and Nick Montgomery as "Monty".

 

[GreasyChipBeattie]

Join us as Nick 'Monty' Montgomery takes to the air with his pet snake, Hissing 'Sidney' Sid. Watch in awe as 'Sidney' takes the controls at 5,000 feet and successfully manoeuvres the plane several times round the airfield in this one of special:
'Monty's Python Flying Circles'

 

[Grappler]

ITV2 Saturday 5pm

"Carry on Screaming" - classic British comedy, someone, or something, is murdering the atmosphere at BDTBL. Every Saturday afternoon at 3pm, the place becomes as quiet as the grave, with just a few old chants haunting the place. Superstitious nonsense, or is there more to it? Professor Van Wilder is sent in to end the misery, purge the ground of the ghouls and bloodsuckers and usher in a new era of harmony. Will the fans carry on screaming "you're not fit to wear the shirt"? Starring Chris Wilder as "Professor Van Wilder", Dean Hammond, as the slow moving monster, "Hammondstein", Paul Coutts as the slow moving dinosaur, "Couttszilla", Martin Woolford as the infamous "Woolfman", who turns into a slow moving monster when the old clock strikes 3pm, and Nick Montgomery as head of the Church of England's football mystery investigation squad "the right reverend Archbishop Nick "Monty" Montgomery".

 

[shorehamview]

Tones With Tones. Where Tony Currie and Tony Kenworthy discuss the best way to download the Greasy Chip Butty ringtone for your Nokia 5110. Guest starring Nick Montgomery as "Mixmaster Monty", the ringtone expert.

 

[Switch Blade]

Up the Duffy- new signing Mark Duffy has a colonscopy broadcast live.

 

[1973Blade]

Tony Towner's Tapdancing Toddlers, the ex Blade leads the search for the nation's best Tapdancing youngster.

 

[Matthew the blade]

Tony Towner's Tapdancing Toddlers, the ex Blade leads the search for the nation's best Tapdancing youngster.

Tony curries curry of the year . Abit like master chef but tony currie judges a curry cooking competition with fellow judges Paul peschisolido and Nick Montgomery . Hosted by Sean bean

 

[Alfreton14Blade]

Taffy's Oily

Ryan Tafazolli, a near-Blade for those milliseconds his pen hovered above the dotted line before his insane wage demands saw the contract snatched away, talks about his vast collection of cooking oils!

Look out for Ryan's deeply loving descriptions about his prized flagon of extra-matured truffle oil. This being, of course, a long sought-after prize which Oily Taff has only been able to acquire since becoming an instant millionaire after signing with the Manchester City of Division Three, Peterborough.

 

[Dnblade]

Chris Wilder in..You're A Liabilty,Fuck Off Out Of Here.
On similar lines to the Apprentice,CW sifts through the ineptitude of the failed 2014-2015 season..who will be next upto the boardroom..Dean Hammond was last weeks victim to face CW in the boardroom,to be told 'You're a liability,Fuck Off out of here.

 

[Grappler]

Tafazolli's Toffee Lolly - Pilot episode of a new sitcom, which was abruptly shelved when young Ryan's head was swayed by the bright lights and cosmopolitan high life of Peterborough. Bassets of Sheffield make the world's best sweets, but a new rival arrives in town, young Ryan Tafazolli with his world famous Toffee Lolly. It looks like profits could plummet for the "too-close-to Hillsborough- for-my-liking" confectioner, so they hatch a fiendish plot to steal the secret toffee lolly recipe, with hilarious consequences!, Starring Ryan Tafazolli as "Ryan" , Bobby Knutt as "Ryan's Dad", Marc McNulty as "Lollipop", and Nick Montgomery as "Confectionery expert specializing in toffee - Monty"

 

[VLYDONIMIR]

The Michael Doyle Story.

Starring Zinedine Zidane in his first Hollywood role since
his other debut Hollywood film, "Ford : My Life As Bobby"
in which our French artisan headlines in both movies.

Co-Starring :
Eric Cantona as Nick Montgomery
Pele as Franz Carr
Danny Boy Dyer as Dave Harry Bassett
Sean Bean as Chris Morgan
Antony Currie as The Man Who Cuts Up The Fishfingers
Rod Hull & Emu as themselves.

Cert TBC

 

[VLYDONIMIR]

The Fred & Ginger Story

Fred Furniss and Stephen Quinn
dance all night, dance all day in this
spectacular musical set amongst the ruins
of a once thriving football club.

Written by Deadbat
Produced by Grappler
Directed by "Shithouse" Tyler Durden

Voice-over for Nick Monty Montgomery kindly portrayed by dublin 10 blade
Stephen Quinn body double by Esablade

"Fucks, Cunts, Wankers & Twats" the main theme composed LS26BLADE

Out Now on Dripping Like Gism Records

 

[Grappler]

The Michael Doyle Story.

Starring Zinedine Zidane in his first Hollywood role since
his other debut Hollywood film, "Ford : My Life As Bobby"
in which our French artisan headlines in both movies.

Co-Starring :
Eric Cantona as Nick Montgomery
Pele as Franz Carr
Danny Boy Dyer as Dave Harry Bassett
Sean Bean as Chris Morgan
Antony Currie as The Man Who Cuts Up The Fishfingers
Rod Hull & Emu as themselves.

Cert TBC

"...Eric Cantona as Nick Montgomery..."

That is a real honour for Mr. Cantona, I hope he realises how lucky he is, Liam Neeson was hoping for that role.

 

[elgoog44]

Up the Duffy- new signing Mark Duffy has a colonscopy broadcast live.

is that the one with Dr N Montgomery lovingly referred to as Dr "Monty"?

 

[The Crab]

"...Eric Cantona as Nick Montgomery..."

That is a real honour for Mr. Cantona, I hope he realises how lucky he is, Liam Neeson was hoping for that role.

Neeson is yesterday's news. Monty will be in the next Taken movie. Just tweaking his "unique set of skills" line.

 

[Sean Thornton]

Neeson is yesterday's news. Monty will be in the next Taken movie. Just tweaking his "unique set of skills" line.

" I will look and I will find you. Ten yards away from me in the centre circle and I will deliver a killer pass to you. You'll then have to go into the John Street stand to retrieve the ball"

 

[The Crab]

" I will look and I will find you. Ten yards away from me in the centre circle and I will deliver a killer pass to you. You'll then have to go into the John Street stand to retrieve the ball"

 

[The Crab]

Curle One Out - Ex Blade Keith Curle discusses issues around Constipation.

 

[The Crab]

The Hunt for Ryan Tafazolli - an intrepid submarine crew head for Peterborough hoping to persuade Ryan to change his mind and sign for the Blades. Peterborough have offered eight grand, but Captain Wilder launches counter measures of a Bottle of Panda Cola and a bag of Cheese & Onion Crisps.

Special guest star is Nick Montgomery as "Montievski" the galley cook.

 

[BushBlade]

The Hunt for Ryan Tafazolli - an intrepid submarine crew head for Peterborough hoping to persuade Ryan to change his mind and sign for the Blades. Peterborough have offered eight grand, but Captain Wilder launches counter measures of a Bottle of Panda Cola and a bag of Cheese & Onion Crisps.

Special guest star is Nick Montgomery as "Montievski" the galley cook.

Sounds like a rip off of the well known 'Dan Burn Hunting' starring Sean Connery as Nigel Adkinsh and Ben Affleck as Dan Burn. With Nick 'Monty' Montgomery as General 'Monty' Montgomery and Matt Damon as 'Matt Damon'.

 

[The Crab]

Sounds like a rip off of the well known 'Dan Burn Hunting' starring Sean Connery as Nigel Adkinsh and Ben Affleck as Dan Burn. With Nick 'Monty' Montgomery as General 'Monty' Montgomery and Matt Damon as 'Matt Damon'.

The plagerism was unintended, I can't remember what I was doing 10 minutes ago never mind a few pages

 

[BushBlade]

The plagerism was unintended, I can't remember what I was doing 10 minutes ago never mind a few pages

Sorry it was an oblique reference to there being a couple of films that were very similar, the Hunt for Red October and, I think, Crimson Tide. I've no idea if it was mentioned earlier in the thread.

 

[The Crab]

No worries
Two films I like a lot, Denzel Washington and Gene Hackman were bang on top of their game in Crimson Tide. Only bad thing about the Hunt for Red October was Connery's syrup.

 

[Bayingblade]

"I Was Monty's Double"

Hollywood writer James Daly's epic follow up to his blockbuster "When Saturday Comes", telling the story of "Monty", a talented young boy from the north of England who signs professional football forms for his local club. When he suffers a career ending injury during the close season at only 18 years old, he hires a doppelganger to return to the club to re-commence his career. Nick Montgomery takes a dual role as both the young starlet and the "double" with two left feet, performing all his own stunts with a realism that will amaze the viewer. Warning: film contains scenes of unparalleled ineptitude. Rated PG.

 

[Grappler]

No worries
Two films I like a lot, Denzel Washington and Gene Hackman were bang on top of their game in Crimson Tide. Only bad thing about the Hunt for Red October was Connery's syrup.

"...Only bad thing about the Hunt for Red October was Connery's syrup..."

That, plus the fact that Nick "Monty" Montgomery was not in it