Suggest A Shit Show feat. Ex-Blades

[The Crab]

Shackletons tackle on...recent Blades acquisition frustrated at lack of game time takes up fishing in this straight to dvd feature..with expert commentry from Martin Pike and forum legend The Crab..all introduced by Nick Monty Montgomery with Mark Moorhouse as flotsam drifting downstream...

I’m more leg end than legend…

 

[The Crab]

Mcewans Lagers

Former Blades manager Billy Mckewan opens up his own brewery. There are opening day issues when a group led by Chris Wilder arrive for a piss up. Due to technical issues the piss up in the brewery can’t be run.

Starting Nick Montgomery as Wit, mickey Adams as himself, Howard Hendall and Brian Robson as the barflies

 

[The Crab]

Mcewans Lagers

Former Blades manager Billy Mckewan opens up his own brewery. There are opening day issues when a group led by Chris Wilder arrive for a piss up. Due to technical issues the piss up in the brewery can’t be run.

Starting Nick Montgomery as Wit, mickey Adams as himself, Howard Hendall and Brian Robson as the barflies

Kendall of course. Too late to edit #fuckoffapple

 

[elgoog44]

Snap, Shackle, and Pop, A gritty Channel Five look at the BDSM world narrated by Jamie Shackleton with Guest appearance from Monty the Gimp, this is followed by a missing Persons Documentary, hosted by a number of previous Sheffield united players including Dean "Houdini" Hammond, although barely seen in the show he did lots of unseen work so he could be the main person listed in the Credits, Also Martyn Woolford & Ricky Holmes star.

You can't get Lower Than Lowe, a look back on the highs and mainly lows of footballer Max Lowe, this is more like a you tube short than a featured programme

A new Sci-Fi series, "Slipping through the hands of time", this space adventure, is is a safe pair of hands with main star Ivo Grbic playing the time travelling Gent in the first episode he tries to save something small and work his way up to saving the world, this could be a very very long show, and guest appearance of course from Nick "The master of all" Montgomery playing a character called Monty in a role to be fleshed out as they go.

 

[Lord Eddard Muir]

Father Ted Hemsley.

In which the former left-back, now a Catholic priest, gets into scrapes with his wayward sidekicks Fathers Scougall and Maguire, and the foul-mouthed Father Jack Longthrow.

Sorry, this is meant to be ex-Blades isn't it, Father Jack will be with us a few more seasons yet.

 

[Sean Thornton]

Undercover Boss



Dejphon Chansiri disguises himself and goes undercover to find out what’s really happening at the Old Slag.



He then reviews the important individuals…..



You loyal man bazzaboy. I’d like to give you another contract for £27000 per week. Need to keep fishwife quiet though



I not know who you are Carl Leighton. Not respectful.



Nobody want you. We have contract, you owe me six million pound and 21 I-pads. Stay in Germany!



No fool me. You man in suit. Not getting paid.



No you cannot do my garden



You not Lord Mayor, look like stink





Your joint IQ not that big. Deluded scrubbers. Sell council house, oh wait


Starring Nick “Nick” Montgomery as Paxo

 

[Uganda Blade]

Father Ted Hemsley.

In which the former left-back, now a Catholic priest, gets into scrapes with his wayward sidekicks Fathers Scougall and Maguire, and the foul-mouthed Father Jack Longthrow.

Sorry, this is meant to be ex-Blades isn't it, Father Jack will be with us a few more seasons yet.

Arse feck girls
BTW when do you reckon Father Jack will reach stage 12?

 

[Sean Thornton]

Arse feck girls

Kick Bishop Bannan up the arse……

 

[Badger Blade]

Jean Calve - go behind the scenes as Jean continues his life after football as a farmhand, helping birth baby cows on a veal farm.

Narrated by Nick "Monty" Montgomery (Matt Baker was unavailable).

 

[Uganda Blade]

OK he's not an ex-Blade (yet) but...

Sydie "Gregory" Peck stars in To Kill a Mocking Bird as a man driven to distraction by a female social media stalker.
Featuring Nick "Monty" Montgomery in the most challenging role of his career, as the stalker.

 

[Gimli]

'BBD Gets a BBD'

A PornHub exclusive.

BBD gets a BBL…

Blades loanee Ben Brereton Diaz delves into the often dangerous world of cosmetic surgery to interview women who’ve suffered from botched Brazilian Butt Lifts, before going under the knife himself in an attempt to use the arse transformation to become ‘more like Nathan Blake’ in the hope that having a gigantic arse will help him rediscover his goalscoring form.

 

[William Large]

Mcewans Lagers

Former Blades manager Billy Mckewan opens up his own brewery. There are opening day issues when a group led by Chris Wilder arrive for a piss up. Due to technical issues the piss up in the brewery can’t be run.

Starting Nick Montgomery as Wit, mickey Adams as himself, Howard Hendall and Brian Robson as the barflies

Does this at least constitute ‘organising’ said piss up even though it never happened?
(I realise this is totally fictional.)

 

[Rodley]

Hamilton

A thrilling, time-bending musical about Ian, Des and Chico - three tenacious central midfielders who underwhelmed Blades fans in every facet - apart from Ian’s sideburns! Packed with electrifying hip-hop beats, R&B grooves, and soaring ballads penned by the legendary MC Gary Sinclair, it reimagines generational Blades mediocrity with a fresh, modern voice.

***** - “Some of Nick ‘Monty’ Montgomery’s finest work yet” Mark Kermode

****1/2 - “The raw sensuality of James Hanson’s dancing set the stage alight” The New York Times

***** - “I’ve never seen ‘underwhelming signing’ played with more gusto than Tom Cannon. It brought tears to my eyes.” Westside Magazine

 

[The Crab]

Does this at least constitute ‘organising’ said piss up even though it never happened?
(I realise this is totally fictional.)

Apologies, I meant to imply that it couldn’t be organised

 

[William Large]

Back, Crack and Rak-Sakyi

On his return to the filth ridden streets of London, languid winger, Jesrun opens a parlour for depubing gentleman’s vegetables as a side hustle.

All is going well until a couple of weeks in, when S6 figure of endless fun Dejphon Chansiri comes in for ‘the works’

Unfortunately for Jes, the cheeky little scamp is the polar opposite of Barry Bannan’s head and is more akin to a wookie under his cheap suit. Undeterred he sets to work.

As he gets to the little fella’s under carriage he is forced to reach for some barbers shears due to the dense foliage around his hoop. As he hacks away, he is surprised to hear a loud yelp as Mark the Pitsmoor armed robber climbs out of ‘Mester Chansiri’s’ anus where he has been since 2015, only surfacing occasionally to spout drivel on Radio Sheffield.

‘Ah remember when Wensdies wo’ best team int world, and that’s from a Man City fan’, shouts the scruffy, wannabe thief as Jes boots the pair out of his shop.

 

[BrayfordsBushyBeard]

Bobbys Ford
Ex Blades midfielder buys old cars and does them up to sell on . Making the club a profit along the way .
As ever UTB!

 

[BrayfordsBushyBeard]

Utter Grbic .
United keeper picks ( and hopefully doesn’t drop) items from tips around Europe to recycle and re purpose .
As ever UTB!

 

[BrayfordsBushyBeard]

Antiques road trip
Manager (or ex manager) Chris Wilder scours the country to find all the old players he is/was linked with in an effort to finally reunite and buy them .
As ever UTB !

 

[Kozzy_is_my_Dad]

24.

Kiefer Sutherland reprises his seminal role as Jack Bauer in this action packed thriller series.

This time, going undercover as popular Sheffield United loanee and temporary owner of the #24 shirt, Hamza Choudhury as the Blades seek to achieve promotion.

 

[Rodley]

The Last of Gus

Post apocalyptic drama where Blades face a season of Tom Cannon on the left wing

 

[Sean Thornton]

Utter Grbic .
United keeper picks ( and hopefully doesn’t drop) items from tips around Europe to recycle and re purpose .
As ever UTB!

Bargain Hunt

Chris and Alan are given £53m and have so sign three strikers who they hope will make money in a transfer window. One has to cost £23m and Christina’s challenge has to be one who can eat two KFC family buckets at one sitting. Their expert is Fallowfield.



Christina shows Sheffield auctioneer Robert Lea their purchases, who suggests it may be hard work to make a profit as they aren’t the genuine article.

 

[DifferentClass]

24.

Kiefer Sutherland reprises his seminal role as Jack Bauer in this action packed thriller series.

This time, going undercover as popular Sheffield United loanee and temporary owner of the #24 shirt, Hamza Choudhury as the Blades seek to achieve promotion.

View attachment 213105

AI can mek better kits than some of the real ones we've had!

 

[Danetheblade]

Who does what, where?

A slapstick comedy around Chris Wilder trying to fit triangular shapes in circular holes whilst trying to get promoted from the championship!

 

[HighfieldBlade]

Homes under the Hamer

To keep himself busy during the off-season, Blades' favourite and EFL Player of the Year, Gus Hamer, earns a few extra bob doing a side hustle as a roofing contractor.

 

[Richeee]

Shackletons Tackle Out...somewhat disappointed with his last venture ( #2339) our Jamie turns to stripping to make ends meet..featuring as compere Nick Monty Montgomery..and Mark Moorhouse as front row detritus...

 

[Richeee]

Around the world (sort of) in 80 days..join Blades manager Chris Wilder as stung by criticism that he rarely buys 'foreign' players embarks on a whistle stop tour of Scotland Wales Ireland and finishing up on the Isle of Wight in a search for 'foreign talent..with Nick Monty Montgomery as Passepartout and Tango as the irascible coach driver and bag carrier...

 

[Jan Age]

Starbucks with Phil

Join Phil Starbuck on a tour of the world and its various starbuck coffee shops.

 

[Chimpan-A]

Hamer and Tonge - tough talking Gus Hamer is NYPD’s top detective, but known for breaking the rules to get results, and if those stuffed suits at City Hall don’t like it, they can use his badge as a 5 pointed suppository. His boss, the always-angry Captain Wilder, frustrated at the constant calls from the Mayor, teams him up with up-tight, by the book Detective Mike Tonge. Can this chalk and cheese duo find the notorious serial killer, Son of Sam McCallum before he kills again?
I haven’t got all the details but the finale is set at a deserted, Hillsborough stadium (so 3:00 pm on a Saturday).

 

[Chimpan-A]

Desperately Seeking Souza - chaos ensues when bored midfielder Sydie Peck loses his memory and is mistaken for a party-loving drifter named Vini Souza.

 

[wak1889]

Brittons got talons - diminutive midfielder invites to look around his impressive collection of birds of prey