Strafford's New Appointment

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Chilean president Sebastian Pinera has recruited former Sheffield Wednesday chairman, Lee Strafford, to talk the trapped mineworkers through their ordeal.

The 33 mineworkers are trapped over half a mile below ground in the San Jose mine in Copiapo, Found after seventeen days of drilling exploratory bore holes, the miners have been supplied with food, re-hydrating gel packs, anti-depressants and Kevin Blackwell’s tactics manual for those sleepless nights.

“It’s going to be a tough ask for these guys, but at this stage they are unaware of the length of time they are likely to be in the dark” said Strafford “I have told them that they may be in for a long wait, but the bore hole is just around the corner. I kept twenty three thousand Wednesday fans believing investment was just around the corner, for well over a year. So convincing thirty three miners that they’re going to be dug out well before Christmas should be a doddle”

Mr Pinera added ”To keep them occupied, Lee noticed that the current bore hole was just big enough to accommodate a tin of Wilko’s quick drying gloss. So he sent down several tins of the stuff, and some very slim brushes and invited them to smarten the place up a bit that should keep them busy for a while”
 

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