pommpey
THE FUTURE ... AS IT USED TO BE
- Banned
- #1
My fucking god. What a fucking embarrassment our team is right now.
Firstly, we now know Ramsdale is gone. He was in front of my nephew tonight on the golf course. Good luck Arsenal. Twenty-cough-million and whatever we pay Bournemouth should give us some revenue to buy at least one player who would play at the requisite level required in this new environment we find ourselves dumped. As for the rest, I despair ...
So we're back to 3-5-2 again with the pedestrian midfield, the suspect back three, the try-hards-but-fails out wide and the barren pair up front. I mean, it's not as though we spent the whole of last season playing that shit and were seriously sexually assaulted up the turd pipe every week, is it? Looking at the defence, from the first long throw in the first few minutes and their disallowed goal they certainly had us in range, and they knew C3PO was having trouble with his jumping. Mind you, all they had to do was draw all three centre backs into a heading scrummage and we were fucking toast. As it stood, the protocol droid did them all a fucking favour and even bounced the ball off his bonce with a clang and it was in our net. R2D2 (Fleck) was somewhere on the edge of the box screaming and bleeping and doing 360s, on fire with electricity and smoke and shit.
But lo, once punched we look to counter punch and Billy lays in Didsy - last seasons top scorer with a blistering nine goals. I mean, aside from the fact that that pass is the first one forward onto a runner in space on goal since ... fucking help me here now ... 'Basham arriving' maybe and he fucking spoons it wide. Old Didsy is back.
But the whole of that first half had that familiar feel about it, didn't it? Tell me I'm wrong - did anyone think, 'we're not gonna score here'. There was nothing ... times nothing squared ... in our gameplay which suggested we were threatening WBA and they simply pressed us back, stopping us before the halfway line and forcing us to turn and pass back. Watching it, Sheffield United looked like a well-drilled team playing 'Attack and Defence' (anyone remember playing that?) where ostensibly we were not allowed by the rules of the game to advance because its played in one goal. We simply get control and pass it backwards and play keep ball, or give up possession.
And in the second half, we simply collapsed like an Afghan regiment.
When it came to anything progressive, such as set pieces, Mr Pointy can be relied upon to fuck the entire venture up with either a weak, lofted cross, or in the last few minutes hit the front man's knees. What does this guy have to do to get dropped and sold? He's been working his fucking ticket now for two solid years. No goals, precious few assists, plenty of fuck ups and stacks of pointing. Is anyone still that deluded to think he is going to be this season's key to our resurgence?
We were fucking drubbed tonight. West Brom were 'OK' but hardly stellar but they simply did the job we used to do some seasons ago ... shamefully with much of this tired, boring and predictable side.
Out of ten, and fuck you if you disagree.
Verrips 1/10: As a debut, it was appalling. He looks more agile than Ramsdale, but technically he's crap.
Baldock 2/10: Frustratingly muzzled and backward looking
Basham 3/10: A few bits and a typical mazy run into a dead end
Egan 3/10: All over the shop at times
Robinson 0/10: Not a Championship level defender
Osborn 3/10: Plenty of hustle and bustle as usual, but fucking nowt much to show for it.
Berge 1/10: Utterly rubbish. Gets one point for a few fleeting runs. Deservedly subbed
Norwood 1/10: Pointy and pointless
Fleck ... was he playing? Okay ... to paraphrase ... 'Mister Blutarsky ... zero ... point ... zero'. Utterly ineffective. Fleck has had it with us now and can go join Lundstram
Sharp 2/10: Got nowt excpt a tackled half chance but did put ...
McGoldrick 2/10: Worst I have seen him play
McBurnie 1/10: Shithousery and pubby aggression
Burke 1/10: Aimless. pointless and talentless
Freeman 4/10: Seemed to want to get involved
SJ: 1/10: I hope this shows you what you've inherited and how fucking wrong the Wilder evangelists now are. Your job now is to stoop, pick up the wreckage, throw away the shit and build a credible footballing side from the remainder
And if any of the players are reading this, there's only Basham and Sharp in that side who know what a dissatisfied Bramall Lane sounds like. Ask them what it will be like if Huddersfield turn us over like that.
You have been warned
pommpey
Firstly, we now know Ramsdale is gone. He was in front of my nephew tonight on the golf course. Good luck Arsenal. Twenty-cough-million and whatever we pay Bournemouth should give us some revenue to buy at least one player who would play at the requisite level required in this new environment we find ourselves dumped. As for the rest, I despair ...
So we're back to 3-5-2 again with the pedestrian midfield, the suspect back three, the try-hards-but-fails out wide and the barren pair up front. I mean, it's not as though we spent the whole of last season playing that shit and were seriously sexually assaulted up the turd pipe every week, is it? Looking at the defence, from the first long throw in the first few minutes and their disallowed goal they certainly had us in range, and they knew C3PO was having trouble with his jumping. Mind you, all they had to do was draw all three centre backs into a heading scrummage and we were fucking toast. As it stood, the protocol droid did them all a fucking favour and even bounced the ball off his bonce with a clang and it was in our net. R2D2 (Fleck) was somewhere on the edge of the box screaming and bleeping and doing 360s, on fire with electricity and smoke and shit.
But lo, once punched we look to counter punch and Billy lays in Didsy - last seasons top scorer with a blistering nine goals. I mean, aside from the fact that that pass is the first one forward onto a runner in space on goal since ... fucking help me here now ... 'Basham arriving' maybe and he fucking spoons it wide. Old Didsy is back.
But the whole of that first half had that familiar feel about it, didn't it? Tell me I'm wrong - did anyone think, 'we're not gonna score here'. There was nothing ... times nothing squared ... in our gameplay which suggested we were threatening WBA and they simply pressed us back, stopping us before the halfway line and forcing us to turn and pass back. Watching it, Sheffield United looked like a well-drilled team playing 'Attack and Defence' (anyone remember playing that?) where ostensibly we were not allowed by the rules of the game to advance because its played in one goal. We simply get control and pass it backwards and play keep ball, or give up possession.
And in the second half, we simply collapsed like an Afghan regiment.
When it came to anything progressive, such as set pieces, Mr Pointy can be relied upon to fuck the entire venture up with either a weak, lofted cross, or in the last few minutes hit the front man's knees. What does this guy have to do to get dropped and sold? He's been working his fucking ticket now for two solid years. No goals, precious few assists, plenty of fuck ups and stacks of pointing. Is anyone still that deluded to think he is going to be this season's key to our resurgence?
We were fucking drubbed tonight. West Brom were 'OK' but hardly stellar but they simply did the job we used to do some seasons ago ... shamefully with much of this tired, boring and predictable side.
Out of ten, and fuck you if you disagree.
Verrips 1/10: As a debut, it was appalling. He looks more agile than Ramsdale, but technically he's crap.
Baldock 2/10: Frustratingly muzzled and backward looking
Basham 3/10: A few bits and a typical mazy run into a dead end
Egan 3/10: All over the shop at times
Robinson 0/10: Not a Championship level defender
Osborn 3/10: Plenty of hustle and bustle as usual, but fucking nowt much to show for it.
Berge 1/10: Utterly rubbish. Gets one point for a few fleeting runs. Deservedly subbed
Norwood 1/10: Pointy and pointless
Fleck ... was he playing? Okay ... to paraphrase ... 'Mister Blutarsky ... zero ... point ... zero'. Utterly ineffective. Fleck has had it with us now and can go join Lundstram
Sharp 2/10: Got nowt excpt a tackled half chance but did put ...
McGoldrick 2/10: Worst I have seen him play
McBurnie 1/10: Shithousery and pubby aggression
Burke 1/10: Aimless. pointless and talentless
Freeman 4/10: Seemed to want to get involved
SJ: 1/10: I hope this shows you what you've inherited and how fucking wrong the Wilder evangelists now are. Your job now is to stoop, pick up the wreckage, throw away the shit and build a credible footballing side from the remainder
And if any of the players are reading this, there's only Basham and Sharp in that side who know what a dissatisfied Bramall Lane sounds like. Ask them what it will be like if Huddersfield turn us over like that.
You have been warned
pommpey