pommpey
THE FUTURE ... AS IT USED TO BE
- Banned
- #1
Bit disappointing, to be honest. I was expecting more from tonight. Big chance to wrap up a few loose ends and for some sort of outcome given the chance it gave. It was pretty obvious Hastings was never gonna be the fourth man. Carmichael is defintaly involved in some way but the low target of Buckells eventually simply being the 'useful idiot' showed that the story has reached a predictable conclusion and the next instalment might be even worse than this one ended up as. There were moments, few and far between to actually rescue it.
But anyway, Sheff United took on the mighty Spurs tonight, didn't they? Plucky, battling but two-divisions-below United tried at times but the gulf in class was evident. In fact, I'd say even with Jay McEveley handballing it in characteristic Charlie fucking Caroli manner a few seasons ago at White Hart Lane #1, we were actually better then than we were tonight. Given who we have playing (only Basham the common element between that clash six years ago) it's not surprising. We were fucking shit. And that's not 'bobbar' shit. It's smeary, greasy shit, flecked with peanuts and sweetcorn kernels, carefully caught in bog roll and smeared round the place in a dirty protest. Brown crayon, stuff.
Spurs fielded an almost apologetic side. Kane looked like he was having a kick about in the park and wherever the fuck we went on the pitch, we just didn't have enough options to pass, if anyone tried to go through they were mopped up, dispossessed or left on their arse watching the Spurs players run away back up the pitch toward our goal, laughing their arses off as they did. Again, it wasn't as much 'if' Spurs scored, so much as 'when' and it was surprising they took so fucking long to execute the ball over the top they'd threatened us with. Bale simply ghosted through our back eight (count em) with everyone looking at him and simultaneous thought bubbles pronging out of the players in greens heads with 'Where's he going, eh?' in them. I mean, it's only fucking Gareth Bale, isn't it? What more can the once-most-expensive-player-in-the-world actually do, running, untraccked through our two lines of defence to latch onto a chip from Aereloae, or whatever his fucking name is? Well, he scored. Everyone looking at each other in that 'who had him' manner. We've see that before.
The rest of the first half was played in that time honoured 'mule-opposition' fashion with us repeatedly giving the ball away (almost everyone), sitting stupidly too deep or playing in a regressive, defeatist and frankly pathetic 5-3-2. We did, you know. Go watch it again. That gave Spurs two options:
1. Exploit the wide midfield areas in front of the forced back wingbacks
2. Ball over the top
We showed fucking nothing going forward, Didsy's weak shots and Brewster with his head firmly up his arse gave Spurs no problems at the back and Ramsdale thumping it long was fruitless possession wasting horseshit. Second half we had five minutes of moderate promise with Billy Swizz on the pitch and Berge but Norwood's shit strike just showed how crap we are. We were just sliced open by a team who is in the Premier League, playing Premier League football. Passing, moving, creating, shooting and scoring. Five minutes before the final whistle, I'd seen enough and Line of Duty beckoned. Spurs could have had a fucking hatful by the time I turned over. I feel they were being charitable to us to keep the score below five.
Heckingbottom has just said we 'improved in the second half'. Fuck's sake, feller. We conceded three goals in the second half, you fucking trumpet. We looked like a fucking Sunday League side. If he is in charge next season and we keep this shower of schmucks we are down again, regardless of what I have said on Sheff Utd Way last month. Things need to change, starting with him and then moving outwards until about three players are left, some of them in their thirties. In the words of Gunnery Sargeant Hartmann of Kubrick's 'Full Metal Jacket' fame, the rest are simply 'nothing but unorganized grab-asstic pieces of amphibian shit!' It sums the fuckers up. They eat the fucking doughnut and do the pressups because they fucking earned this.
Ramsdale 6/10: For his saves, although in truth, he is simply doing his job. He did show too much of the goal to Son for his disallowed goal and one of Bale's. but had no chance with the rest. His distribution, as ever, is piss-wank.
Bogle 4/10: Pretty much outclassed and bypassed at times.
Baldock 4/10: A worrying concept at stand-in RCB. Clumsy and wasteful with the ball but better when we went 4-4-2 as he could get up the wing a bit. He is not a centre back for fuck's sake. We have two of them on the fucking bench
Egan 5/10: Slow and ponderous at times although in his defence gave us some crucial headers, but was out of position and run a bit ragged by their strikers
Basham 5/10: Obviously carrying an injury and vulnerable. But - when he's on the ball he shows thought and ability. It's still difficult to criticise Bash and not to like him
Stevens 3/10: Still getting skinned and bypassed every week now. Both him and Bogle were pinned right back in a line today, exposing a vast area in front of them which Spurs just exploited
Norwood 2/10: One good cross. The rest of the time he was simply a straphanger - a bollard in the road. His free kicks and corners were characteristically shitwipe.
Osborn 5/10: Yeah, he runs, he chases, he tries. But he's also outfought, outskilled and outmuscled. And he's five foot and a fagpaper, so lamping the ball his way when he's up against Dier or Hojburg is only gonna end up with one result. You listening, Ramsdale? Wasn't really sure where the fuck he was meant to be playing in the first half to be honest and ended up in Lundstram's old spot, number three traffic cone.
McGoldrick 4/10: Loads of effort but judging by his end product, he either knackered, or he's just given up. His burst forward down the left wing in the fist half was so fucking poorly supported, we deserved him passing it into Lloris's hands.
Brewster 1/10: I've lost patience now. He is the biggest waste of transfer money ever, in English football. There. I said it. Tonight he looked so fucking clueless and lost. I fear for him, next season, because we are fucking stuck with him now. We can't take the massive cut (no one will fucking buy him, for a start) and Liverpool can simply enjoy the twenty odd million we wastefully spunked on this frankly useless nipper. It's not all his fault, but he is absolutely, totally out of his depth in the Premier League. We can only hope that he flourishes next season, because so far, I have seen nothing at all which tells me he is anywhere near his fee.
Burke 2/10: The usual 'runs about, achieves fuck all' outing from him. Again, what the fuck Wilder was thinking is still a baffling mystery
Berge 4/10: First 45 back since Christmas so can't be too critical, but he's still got nowt in the bag really, has he? He still looks a bit aimless in a shockingly crap midfield and still seems dreadful at imposing with his height and heading the fucking thing. Compare him with say - Hojburg.
Mousset 0/10: Actually thought Heckingbottom was taking the piss out of us sticking him on at the end.
Anyway, Line of Duty 4/10 also for a bt of a pissy ending, also.
pommpey
But anyway, Sheff United took on the mighty Spurs tonight, didn't they? Plucky, battling but two-divisions-below United tried at times but the gulf in class was evident. In fact, I'd say even with Jay McEveley handballing it in characteristic Charlie fucking Caroli manner a few seasons ago at White Hart Lane #1, we were actually better then than we were tonight. Given who we have playing (only Basham the common element between that clash six years ago) it's not surprising. We were fucking shit. And that's not 'bobbar' shit. It's smeary, greasy shit, flecked with peanuts and sweetcorn kernels, carefully caught in bog roll and smeared round the place in a dirty protest. Brown crayon, stuff.
Spurs fielded an almost apologetic side. Kane looked like he was having a kick about in the park and wherever the fuck we went on the pitch, we just didn't have enough options to pass, if anyone tried to go through they were mopped up, dispossessed or left on their arse watching the Spurs players run away back up the pitch toward our goal, laughing their arses off as they did. Again, it wasn't as much 'if' Spurs scored, so much as 'when' and it was surprising they took so fucking long to execute the ball over the top they'd threatened us with. Bale simply ghosted through our back eight (count em) with everyone looking at him and simultaneous thought bubbles pronging out of the players in greens heads with 'Where's he going, eh?' in them. I mean, it's only fucking Gareth Bale, isn't it? What more can the once-most-expensive-player-in-the-world actually do, running, untraccked through our two lines of defence to latch onto a chip from Aereloae, or whatever his fucking name is? Well, he scored. Everyone looking at each other in that 'who had him' manner. We've see that before.
The rest of the first half was played in that time honoured 'mule-opposition' fashion with us repeatedly giving the ball away (almost everyone), sitting stupidly too deep or playing in a regressive, defeatist and frankly pathetic 5-3-2. We did, you know. Go watch it again. That gave Spurs two options:
1. Exploit the wide midfield areas in front of the forced back wingbacks
2. Ball over the top
We showed fucking nothing going forward, Didsy's weak shots and Brewster with his head firmly up his arse gave Spurs no problems at the back and Ramsdale thumping it long was fruitless possession wasting horseshit. Second half we had five minutes of moderate promise with Billy Swizz on the pitch and Berge but Norwood's shit strike just showed how crap we are. We were just sliced open by a team who is in the Premier League, playing Premier League football. Passing, moving, creating, shooting and scoring. Five minutes before the final whistle, I'd seen enough and Line of Duty beckoned. Spurs could have had a fucking hatful by the time I turned over. I feel they were being charitable to us to keep the score below five.
Heckingbottom has just said we 'improved in the second half'. Fuck's sake, feller. We conceded three goals in the second half, you fucking trumpet. We looked like a fucking Sunday League side. If he is in charge next season and we keep this shower of schmucks we are down again, regardless of what I have said on Sheff Utd Way last month. Things need to change, starting with him and then moving outwards until about three players are left, some of them in their thirties. In the words of Gunnery Sargeant Hartmann of Kubrick's 'Full Metal Jacket' fame, the rest are simply 'nothing but unorganized grab-asstic pieces of amphibian shit!' It sums the fuckers up. They eat the fucking doughnut and do the pressups because they fucking earned this.
Ramsdale 6/10: For his saves, although in truth, he is simply doing his job. He did show too much of the goal to Son for his disallowed goal and one of Bale's. but had no chance with the rest. His distribution, as ever, is piss-wank.
Bogle 4/10: Pretty much outclassed and bypassed at times.
Baldock 4/10: A worrying concept at stand-in RCB. Clumsy and wasteful with the ball but better when we went 4-4-2 as he could get up the wing a bit. He is not a centre back for fuck's sake. We have two of them on the fucking bench
Egan 5/10: Slow and ponderous at times although in his defence gave us some crucial headers, but was out of position and run a bit ragged by their strikers
Basham 5/10: Obviously carrying an injury and vulnerable. But - when he's on the ball he shows thought and ability. It's still difficult to criticise Bash and not to like him
Stevens 3/10: Still getting skinned and bypassed every week now. Both him and Bogle were pinned right back in a line today, exposing a vast area in front of them which Spurs just exploited
Norwood 2/10: One good cross. The rest of the time he was simply a straphanger - a bollard in the road. His free kicks and corners were characteristically shitwipe.
Osborn 5/10: Yeah, he runs, he chases, he tries. But he's also outfought, outskilled and outmuscled. And he's five foot and a fagpaper, so lamping the ball his way when he's up against Dier or Hojburg is only gonna end up with one result. You listening, Ramsdale? Wasn't really sure where the fuck he was meant to be playing in the first half to be honest and ended up in Lundstram's old spot, number three traffic cone.
McGoldrick 4/10: Loads of effort but judging by his end product, he either knackered, or he's just given up. His burst forward down the left wing in the fist half was so fucking poorly supported, we deserved him passing it into Lloris's hands.
Brewster 1/10: I've lost patience now. He is the biggest waste of transfer money ever, in English football. There. I said it. Tonight he looked so fucking clueless and lost. I fear for him, next season, because we are fucking stuck with him now. We can't take the massive cut (no one will fucking buy him, for a start) and Liverpool can simply enjoy the twenty odd million we wastefully spunked on this frankly useless nipper. It's not all his fault, but he is absolutely, totally out of his depth in the Premier League. We can only hope that he flourishes next season, because so far, I have seen nothing at all which tells me he is anywhere near his fee.
Burke 2/10: The usual 'runs about, achieves fuck all' outing from him. Again, what the fuck Wilder was thinking is still a baffling mystery
Berge 4/10: First 45 back since Christmas so can't be too critical, but he's still got nowt in the bag really, has he? He still looks a bit aimless in a shockingly crap midfield and still seems dreadful at imposing with his height and heading the fucking thing. Compare him with say - Hojburg.
Mousset 0/10: Actually thought Heckingbottom was taking the piss out of us sticking him on at the end.
Anyway, Line of Duty 4/10 also for a bt of a pissy ending, also.
pommpey