shorehamview
Pink Sambuca drinking World Champion.
Sheffield United are
A. A busted flush.
B. In the cacky.
C. Doing fine, all things considered.
D. Bloody brilliant, regardless.
Gary Speed was
A. Better off on A Question Of Sport.
B. Wrong man, right time.
C. Right man, wrong time.
D. Woefully out of his depth.
Micky Adams is
A. Right man, wrong time.
B. Wrong man, right time.
C. A Blade, and therefore passionate, like us.
D. Who gives a shit? Alan Cork's back.
Kevin McCabe
A. Has done his best, but it's not been enough.
B. Has shafted us royally.
C. Likes building buildings.
D. Would sell out for the right price.
Peter's Pies
A. Are the work of the world's worst piemonger.
B. Have crusts harder than a Chris Morgan tackle.
C. Are shit in pastry, but when there's a choice between one or a sausage roll or shit burger then there's really no competition.
D. All of the above.
Bovril at football
A. It's a proper man's drink.
B. I'm either a bird or a homosexualist, and therefore drink shit coffee.
C. It's no substitute for beer.
D. It's a proper man's drink, still.
Swearing at football
A. It's fucking great.
Wearing football shirts at the match
A. It's fine.
B. It's fine, if you are still at school.
C. Shows your true colours to all and sundry, even when the seat-chucking apes come down from Dirty Leeds.
D. Is a summer activity.
E. Is not for me, thank you.
F. It's bloody rip-off. Forty quid! And they're worse attire than hessian sacks.
Women at football
A. Know nowt.
B. Are like encyclopedias, or sitting next to Motty.
Men at football
A. Are like big kids.
B. Are like really big kids with Tourette's.
Football forums
A. Are full of intellectuals, like on here. SV especially. He's fucking ace.
B. Are full of well-meaning but misguided individuals, like on here. SV especially. He's batshit mental.
C Are full of knuckle-dragging fucktards, like porktalk.
D. Some of the above. Hell, ALL of the above.
E. Are either clappers or knockers. One extreme or the other, no middle ground.
F. Are a great method for fans to communicate, meet, marry and have babies. Or at least sex.
G. Are better than "official" sources for information about the club.
H. Are full of gossip, libel, backbiting and scandal, but bloody entertaining.
Football surveys and questionnaires
A. Are great. Especially this one.
B. Are a waste of time. Especially this one.
C. Are a fun way of spending five minutes.
D. No idea. I only ever read the last option on each question anyway. Is it Carlos Tevez, Gary?
A. A busted flush.
B. In the cacky.
C. Doing fine, all things considered.
D. Bloody brilliant, regardless.
Gary Speed was
A. Better off on A Question Of Sport.
B. Wrong man, right time.
C. Right man, wrong time.
D. Woefully out of his depth.
Micky Adams is
A. Right man, wrong time.
B. Wrong man, right time.
C. A Blade, and therefore passionate, like us.
D. Who gives a shit? Alan Cork's back.
Kevin McCabe
A. Has done his best, but it's not been enough.
B. Has shafted us royally.
C. Likes building buildings.
D. Would sell out for the right price.
Peter's Pies
A. Are the work of the world's worst piemonger.
B. Have crusts harder than a Chris Morgan tackle.
C. Are shit in pastry, but when there's a choice between one or a sausage roll or shit burger then there's really no competition.
D. All of the above.
Bovril at football
A. It's a proper man's drink.
B. I'm either a bird or a homosexualist, and therefore drink shit coffee.
C. It's no substitute for beer.
D. It's a proper man's drink, still.
Swearing at football
A. It's fucking great.
Wearing football shirts at the match
A. It's fine.
B. It's fine, if you are still at school.
C. Shows your true colours to all and sundry, even when the seat-chucking apes come down from Dirty Leeds.
D. Is a summer activity.
E. Is not for me, thank you.
F. It's bloody rip-off. Forty quid! And they're worse attire than hessian sacks.
Women at football
A. Know nowt.
B. Are like encyclopedias, or sitting next to Motty.
Men at football
A. Are like big kids.
B. Are like really big kids with Tourette's.
Football forums
A. Are full of intellectuals, like on here. SV especially. He's fucking ace.
B. Are full of well-meaning but misguided individuals, like on here. SV especially. He's batshit mental.
C Are full of knuckle-dragging fucktards, like porktalk.
D. Some of the above. Hell, ALL of the above.
E. Are either clappers or knockers. One extreme or the other, no middle ground.
F. Are a great method for fans to communicate, meet, marry and have babies. Or at least sex.
G. Are better than "official" sources for information about the club.
H. Are full of gossip, libel, backbiting and scandal, but bloody entertaining.
Football surveys and questionnaires
A. Are great. Especially this one.
B. Are a waste of time. Especially this one.
C. Are a fun way of spending five minutes.
D. No idea. I only ever read the last option on each question anyway. Is it Carlos Tevez, Gary?
