I'm beginning to wonder if our team talks are a bit like this?

[GreasyChipBeattie]

Right Sam, if the ball goes in the air, you run as fast as you can to head it as far as you can, OK?
Rhys, just keep doing what you do son, you'll have that brain fart before you know it.
Japh, the pitch isn't wearing evenly, don't worry where the oppo attackers are, just get our money's worth from that Desso,
Look Kitch, you might feel like you don't fit in, but you can't go back yet, just hang in there, we'll soon drag you down to our level.
Hammy, I wan't you out of position, I'm going to put you at right back, so don't stay there.
Rom, keep doing that Jack Russell thing where you run round in circles with the ball.
Bene, I'm playing you on the left with Rom, but errr not with Rom, OK?
Jairo, thanks for grafting to get a contract extension, now that's sorted, you can toss it off until you want to be considered again.
Pecky boy, keep trying some shit that never comes off, and when you realise it's not working, try it again.
Ty, TYYY?! Where the fuck has he disappeared to? That's it. Keep it up son.
Pat, don't forget, once you score a goal, that's your job done.

Everybody, please remember to give the ball away whenever you get the chance so I can enjoy watching you half-heartedly trying to win it back.
If there's no oppo player to give it to, it goes back to Coops so he can launch it back to them, OK?

Subs, I'm going to keep you and every other fucker guessing.

Now, COME OOOON, let's get out there and be the best, errr, be as good as we, erm, be what errr, do what you want and see what happens yeah?

 

[SW12 to S12 to S18]

Well, at least you can't say that they don't listen.

 

[Alex Cheeseright]

There's truth in comedy!!!!!

 

[Bladesman]

Right Sam, if the ball goes in the air, you run as fast as you can to head it as far as you can, OK?
Rhys, just keep doing what you do son, you'll have that brain fart before you know it.
Japh, the pitch isn't wearing evenly, don't worry where the oppo attackers are, just get our money's worth from that Desso,
Look Kitch, you might feel like you don't fit in, but you can't go back yet, just hang in there, we'll soon drag you down to our level.
Hammy, I wan't you out of position, I'm going to put you at right back, so don't stay there.
Rom, keep doing that Jack Russell thing where you run round in circles with the ball.
Bene, I'm playing you on the left with Rom, but errr not with Rom, OK?
Jairo, thanks for grafting to get a contract extension, now that's sorted, you can toss it off until you want to be considered again.
Pecky boy, keep trying some shit that never comes off, and when you realise it's not working, try it again.
Ty, TYYY?! Where the fuck has he disappeared to? That's it. Keep it up son.
Pat, don't forget, once you score a goal, that's your job done.

Everybody, please remember to give the ball away whenever you get the chance so I can enjoy watching you half-heartedly trying to win it back.
If there's no oppo player to give it to, it goes back to Coops so he can launch it back to them, OK?

Subs, I'm going to keep you and every other fucker guessing.

Now, COME OOOON, let's get out there and be the best, errr, be as good as we, erm, be what errr, do what you want and see what happens yeah?

We were still in the game but somehow, we come out waiving a white flag.

No urgency, no real commitment, allowed them their 3rd goal (They were getting a 3rd regardless of it maybe being offside)

 

[Keen Blade]

There's truth in comedy!!!!!

Many a true word spoken in jest