If you caught Ebanks-Landell in bed with your missus.......

[Seanshoreham]

Pass him a flannel to wash his cock,,,

 

[Gavlar]

Ask for his autograph

 

[wizadry]

I'd say to him "Can I be counted in the official attendance of the bedroom even if I fuck straight off back out? Blades fans all over need to know EEL, me old mucker. Oh, and put my fucking dressing gown and slippers down ya cunt".

I'm still fuming about Dan Burn and Sam Morsy shagging our lass when they were last in Sheffield for the good part of 12 months. Footballers eh!

 

[Snowman]

Get the fucker certified as insane. EEL that is

 

[SouthEssexBlade]

What's this doing in Blades Chat, my missus supports Chelsea?

And if he went anywhere near her, I'd offer only evens on him not getting his teeth kicked out, big strong lad that he is.

 

[Golden Gordon]

Give him a big kiss and say......"Take the fucker with you". (Glad she doesn't read S2)!

Don't worry Fred, I'll tell her next time I see her on Hatfield shops!

 

[LenTednTony]

I'd say "fuckin" ell, EEL, tha's scored ageean!

 

[Bladepicker]

If only Darren was still about

 

[metalblade]

Give him a tin of talc to find the damp bit

 

[pommpey]

As Alex Ferguson famously said when he saw Dion Dublin in the dressing room, emerging from the shower:

"Magnificent."

pommpey

 

[Canterbury Blade]

Check it wasn't Xmas Day and then if it wasn't wish him a Happy Birthday...

 

[Slug]

Ask him what it feels like down there these days because I've not been able to get anywhere near it since we got a mortgage 5 years ago

 

[Sothall_Blade]

"I walked into the room
Imagine my surprise
you were sitting close to him
staring in each other's eyes

Each of you looked up
but no one said a word
I felt I should apologise
for what I hadn't heard

A silence filled the room
awkward as an elephant
In the crowded court of your love
I was now a supplicant

And clumsy as I felt
at stumbling on this theft
to save further embarrassment
I made my excuses and left"

 

[The_Green_Man]

I wouldn't do nowt.....

Ya see....Sex to me is like playing bridge....If you don't have a good partner, You'd better have a good hand...

(The bible of married life)

 

[moDtheGod]

Oh Ebanks-Landell, you are the love of my life, oh Ebanks-Landell, I'd let you shag my wife...

I want two surnames toooooooo...

 

[Billyblade]

I'd get straight on the phone to my solicitor because I'm not an expert in matters of conjugal law but I believe I may have grounds for divorce due to adultery?
Any legal eagles left on here to shed any light on my amateur assumptions?