If Sheff Utd Managers were Christmas Gifts? 🎁

[Deadly_D'Jaffo]

Warnock - The pair of Walking Boots

They weren't fashionable or particularly comfy, but you got used to them, had some lovely days out wearing them and lasted a long time. Felt sentimental when you slung them out.

Micky Adams - The sports biography Book

On the surface it seemed like a wise, logical decision. You like reading, you like football so someone bought you a footballers autobiography...but after 5 pages you realised the book was utter shit. You decluttered it within 2 months.

David Weir - Red Letter Racing Day.

It was something new and different. You were anticipating the day coming and when it did, you spent 45 minutes driving a 1.4 Ford Focus at 60mph. You resented ever getting excited about it.

Chris Wilder - The Electric Shaving Kit

You was a bit "meh" when you first opened it but over the months and years it became something you couldnt do without.

Slav?
Heck?

 

[Houston_Blade]

Heckingbottom - the present you chucked in the bin in the summer, then felt a bit bad so got it back out again and promoted it to your favourite toy.

 

[Swannyblade]

Slav - Scotch Whisky you've never heard of before. It comes with good reviews, it's high price tag suggests quality and it has a mysterious and exotic charm. However, you're a Jack Daniels man and your unsophisticated palate can't untangle the peaty taste intended for a higher class gift recipient. You're a simple northern monkey who should know your place and stick to your page one bourbons. The Whisky is re-gifted to your middle class uncle and you buy in some cans of JD that is already mixed with coke (bonus) and a few gin in a tin's for the Mrs.

 

[gavtheblade]

Kevin Blackwell.
That crap aftershave that you couldnt wait for it to bastard run out.

Danny Wilson.
A nice scarf from that auntie you hate,comes in handy on cold walks to the pub.
An underrated garment.

Nigel Clough.
Like a fresh tin of quality street,great to start with,but once the soft centres are gone,it's time for the bin.

Steve Bruce.
A footspa, use it once,then Carboot fodder 8 months later.

 

[raimond]

Slav- a goldfish. A lot of people rave about having one, but once you have, you realise it's a raight miserable c*** that makes little difference to owt. But you still feel a bit sad once it's gone.

Heckingbottom- Socks. But it's not the pair of socks fault they were given to you is it though?? So gerrem put on, you may as well.

 

[Old Programme seller]

Bryan Robson- a cd set of All Creatures Great and Small, you know it’s crap before you start to watch it, it was crap and you were just waiting to switch it off but couldn’t find the remote

 

[Deadly_D'Jaffo]

Heckingbottom is an Aldi, middle aisle Electric Drill. It's cheap, it's in the loft most of the time but it gets you out of the shit now and again.

 

[Houston_Blade]

Heckingbottom is an Aldi, middle aisle Electric Drill. It's cheap, it's in the loft most of the time but it gets you out of the shit now and again.

So much so that you think “I’m not bothering buying a decent one for another 4.5 years”

 

[CarlMcBlade]

Slav- The best toy in the toy shop...But we forgot to get any batteries.

 

[Rodley]

Hecky - Poundland

 

[Deadly_D'Jaffo]

Slav- The best toy in the toy shop...But we couldn't afford to get any batteries.

Fixed it for you

 

[Tony_Kaufman]

Bryan Robson - the kid who wrote his Christmas list from the Argos catalogue and got everything. A WWE wrestling ring with four action figures, a battery operated Nerf gun that fires 100 shots, some Transformers, a Lego Millennium Falcon. His toys are the envy of everyone else. The only problem is that he's an amputee with no arms and cannot play with them to save his life.

 

[DaveBassettsgoneonholiday]

*Hecky & Co - A set of jump leads, some furry dice and a pair of Thinsulate gloves.
Bought in haste/panic for the wife or girlfriend on the way home from the office party on Christmas Eve.
Lot goes up when she opens them Christmas Day. Jibes about the lack of thought and planning you've put in to this, and you never hear the last of it for the next four and a half years.

*not my personal opinion of Hecky, just fits in with the current mood on the forum.
Hope he proves to be a masterstroke of an appointment but I'm not thrilled about it just yet.

 

[diode_blade]

Chris Morgan....a pair of boxing gloves you never dare wear

 

[Geordie Blade]

Dave Bassett. A second-hand book that you think "how's that supposed to be a present?". You end up being unable to put it down and it's still the best thing you ever read.