Sean the Blade
Member
Reports have confirmed that Steve McLaren’s latest club will be Nottingham Forrest. Fans around the country breathed a huge sigh of relief as the former England manager’s shadow cast a dark veil over the City Ground.
Fans of Sheffield United and Barnsley count themselves particularly lucky, as both clubs were actively looking for new leadership, at a time when McLaren was out of work.
A spokesdingle said “No-one wants to see a club end up with McLaren, especially one with the stature of Nottingham Forrest. But it’s a dog eat dog world. We just got cheapest man in we could, quickly, and put up the ‘no vacancies’ sign”
Over at Bramall Lane Kevin McCabe had dusted off another of his game-show-host suits, polished his ceramic teeth and faced the press “Hey, now look, you can see what’s happened just a few miles down the road, as Jim Bowen would have said “Let’s have a look at what you could have won”. Were it nor for my vision and foresight, we could be looking at a future under Steve McLaren”. Turning so that cameras could get a better view of the sun shining from his arse, Kevin’s face darkened “You should all be grateful that there is no bigger Blade than me. I put in place appropriate measures to ensure that revenue from the club continues to shore up my faltering business.”
The appointment of McLaren has set alarm bells ringing at the Press Association “This happened so quickly” said a lying git “members of the association are very concerned, the prospect of the Nottingham Forrest and Doncaster Rovers post match press conference is daunting to say the least. To be in the same room with two of the most boring men in football, at the same time, isn’t pleasant, and our members are worried that this level of boredom could cause long term harm. There are precidents for this, just look at what happened to John Sargent’s face after being over exposed to John Major!”
Following his appointment Steve McLaren gave a short three hour press conference, viewers should beware that this conference contains material of an extremely tedious nature, pregnant mothers and those who ‘haven’t got long to go’ should look away now….
The City Ground Press Conference earlier today...
Fans of Sheffield United and Barnsley count themselves particularly lucky, as both clubs were actively looking for new leadership, at a time when McLaren was out of work.
A spokesdingle said “No-one wants to see a club end up with McLaren, especially one with the stature of Nottingham Forrest. But it’s a dog eat dog world. We just got cheapest man in we could, quickly, and put up the ‘no vacancies’ sign”
Over at Bramall Lane Kevin McCabe had dusted off another of his game-show-host suits, polished his ceramic teeth and faced the press “Hey, now look, you can see what’s happened just a few miles down the road, as Jim Bowen would have said “Let’s have a look at what you could have won”. Were it nor for my vision and foresight, we could be looking at a future under Steve McLaren”. Turning so that cameras could get a better view of the sun shining from his arse, Kevin’s face darkened “You should all be grateful that there is no bigger Blade than me. I put in place appropriate measures to ensure that revenue from the club continues to shore up my faltering business.”
The appointment of McLaren has set alarm bells ringing at the Press Association “This happened so quickly” said a lying git “members of the association are very concerned, the prospect of the Nottingham Forrest and Doncaster Rovers post match press conference is daunting to say the least. To be in the same room with two of the most boring men in football, at the same time, isn’t pleasant, and our members are worried that this level of boredom could cause long term harm. There are precidents for this, just look at what happened to John Sargent’s face after being over exposed to John Major!”
Following his appointment Steve McLaren gave a short three hour press conference, viewers should beware that this conference contains material of an extremely tedious nature, pregnant mothers and those who ‘haven’t got long to go’ should look away now….
The City Ground Press Conference earlier today...
