How it could get worse

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Dkc

Dkc

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I’ve heard people say “It can’t get any worse”. Oh but it can. Let’s cheer ourselves up by imagining how our season could actually turn a lot worse, and become another part of the great Blades tragedy. I’ll kick off.

We somehow scrape into the Play Offs and get Millwall in the final. The game ends in mass violence when Millwall score, with Wembley being smashed up and running battles on the pitch. The game is finally abandoned. It’s described in the media as the “worst football hooliganism in at least a decade”. Politicians get on board, and, despite a heartfelt plea from Jim Phipps, the tie will not be replayed. Millwall are awarded the victory and both teams are docked 15 points from the start of next season.

McCabe initiates court proceedings against the FL. The Prince jumps ship.
 



Dkc said:
I’ve heard people say “It can’t get any worse”. Oh but it can. Let’s cheer ourselves up by imagining how our season could actually turn a lot worse, and become another part of the great Blades tragedy. I’ll kick off.

We somehow scrape into the Play Offs and get Millwall in the final. The game ends in mass violence when Millwall score, with Wembley being smashed up and running battles on the pitch. The game is finally abandoned. It’s described in the media as the “worst football hooliganism in at least a decade”. Politicians get on board, and, despite a heartfelt plea from Jim Phipps, the tie will not be replayed. Millwall are awarded the victory and both teams are docked 15 points from the start of next season.

McCabe initiates court proceedings against the FL. The Prince jumps ship.
Click to expand...

And in the confusion after the match, Neil Collins helps himself to a 5 year contract.
 
I wake up in the morning, after a Honey Bee Bitter induced sleep to find Bobby Moores statue in mi Hotel Room

Not really worried how I got it there, more concerned how the fuck I am gonna get it back home
 
Dkc said:
I’ve heard people say “It can’t get any worse”. Oh but it can. Let’s cheer ourselves up by imagining how our season could actually turn a lot worse, and become another part of the great Blades tragedy. I’ll kick off.

We somehow scrape into the Play Offs and get Millwall in the final. The game ends in mass violence when Millwall score, with Wembley being smashed up and running battles on the pitch. The game is finally abandoned. It’s described in the media as the “worst football hooliganism in at least a decade”. Politicians get on board, and, despite a heartfelt plea from Jim Phipps, the tie will not be replayed. Millwall are awarded the victory and both teams are docked 15 points from the start of next season.

McCabe initiates court proceedings against the FL. The Prince jumps ship.
Click to expand...

Don't know who have lost it more , them young whipper snapper rough necks at Rochdale or us on forum.

It's like The Mail / Star journalism .

UTB and behave
 
It can get worse..

Let's assume ( sorry management trainees ) that we don't go up, which we don't deserve to btw..

Adkins gets the bullet.
The board struggle to find a manager until after the window shuts, then appoint another "yes man"

We promptly sell Che Adams as baxters in rehab and we have nobody else of slight interest to any other club.

Colin's secures another contract, as he's the only centre half wanting to be here, Brayford shaves his beard off and it all goes tits up..


I really wanted to back Nigel 2... But as I've said on another post that he can't mould a team from 40 odd professionals, that's surely worrying...considering that his big signings.....sharp now included, can't cut it in league one....league one guys...think about that...
 
Sepp Blatter is pardoned and co chairs Blades with Peter Sutcliffe
 
Barney said:
Adkins renews the contracts of the likes of McEveley and Collins and goes on to sign about 7 players of the Hammond/Sammon ilk. The worst thing is that on all evidence, it's very probable.
Click to expand...


He might be reading this and takes your advice....then it'd all be your fault! :P
 
Joking aside the last time we finished with the season petering out in mid table mediocrity was season 2009-10 when we finished 8th in the Championship.

The following season we were relegated...

Yes it can get worse and I wouldn't bet against it doing so.
 
Obviously it can always be worse.

We could actually get in the fucking play-offs! Can't be putting up with that kind of heartbreak again.
 
On the flip side,we scrape in play offs on last day with a billy 25yarder in 93rd min,beat walsall 3-0 in final after demolishing millwall in semis,spend 3 million in summer, couple of good loans,get rid of a shed load of garbage & have a right crack at championship. ........oh,&beat grunters at castle greyskull on opening day....Sorry couldn't resist :tumbleweed:
 
The Millwall v United match goes to penalties. After each side score all 5 it comes to sudden death. Then we go though all the players and its down to the keepers. Up steps Long and he kicks it long, right to Mars. It lands next to another football that has mysteriously got there. All the United fans throw their tickets at McCabe and tell him to shove it up Uranus.

McCabe jets off to Brussels. He forgets there's another penalty. Long saves. Billy scores. They don't. We all die of heart failure.
 



We're drawing 0-0 with Walsall in the final and get a penalty, which Neill Collins insists on taking as he's the captain.

During his run-up he gets distracted by Steve Simonsen in the crowd opening a packet of crisps and skies it before promptly blaming the corner flag.

They go down the other end and score.

Some old-timers shuffle out of the ground mumbling something about Don Givens.

James Shield subsequently takes over PR duties from Jim Phipps after he suffers a nervous breakdown due to sustained abuse on Twitter.
He's considered the ideal candidate for the job after his many years of stating the blindingly fucking obvious and telling everybody last months news.

Dave Bassett surprisingly comes out of retirement to guide Fleetwood Town to the 2nd automatic promotion spot after a draw with Neil Warnocks Rotherham on the last day is enough to send both teams up.
United miss out by a single goal

Lose the next play-off final.

7 years now.
 
It's near impossible to get on the pitch at the new Wembley.

The boys who invented those new metal crowd control things did a cracking job.
 
I think it's almost inevitable it will get worse. If this team was in division 4, it would struggle to make the play offs. It's hard to imagine anything other than a lot of the crap being given new contracts, the slightly better players being sold and replaced by utter dross free transfers. Can anybody really see the board stumping up the cash for 7 or 8 decent players? And even if they do, it would take a Bassett style miracle to make a team out of them. 2 or 3 quality signings in January could have saved this team, given it a boost and then build on it in the summer. Building a new team from scratch is virtually impossible, with this board it is impossible. Adkins doesn't know any players unless they played for Southampton or Scunthorpe 10 years ago. What a shambles.

My McCabe crystal ball can see new contracts for all the crap, 2 or 3 duffers on free transfers, Brayford and Che being sold and a relegation battle.
 
Somehow the world returns to August 2015 and we all have to live through this season again.
I wish it would end now, (the season not the world) I will gladly take 12th.
 
The world keeps turning, we discover life on other planets, a shit load of people are born, a shit load die and nobody remembers what a bunch of know-nowts on a message board had to say 30 years ago.

:)
 
We merge with the unclean, lose a coin toss to decide where we play and so are based at swillsborough.

We lose another coin toss on shirts, so we keep the white stripes from our kit and the blue stripes from their kit.

Gay Ron returns as unity manager.
 
It'll get worse like this:

1. We will continue to underperform, and results will secure us a tenth place position in league three, our lowest for some years
2. The fans will continue to get on the players backs. Adkins will continue to offer poor post match interviews citing 'luck' and emphasising non-existant positive performance statements. Team morale will sag considerably
3. Bramall Lane matchday crowds will drop by 3000-5000
4. At the last game at Bramall Lane a vocal crowd will gather in the Cherry St car park calling for the board to resign. McCabe, HRH and Phipps will not be there, however.
5. Post season, a management level meeting will had Adkins in the 'Clough Position' of back-me-or-sack-me. Adkins will table his idea of inbound transfer targets which will be largely sneered at.
6. Plans will be revealled for a £650,000 upgrade of Club Shop and Executive Suite facilities with the long term aim of attracting conferencing and merchandise opportunities. This is increased by £100,000 the following week in a small box-column in the Star.
7. The summer transfer season looms. It is revealled Baxter has completed his rehabilitation work and is 'fit as a fiddle' and ready to take on the new season. The retained/released list is strangely delayed as management is in 'consideration'
8. The transfer season opens with nothing coming from the club official or unofficial sources
9. Season ticket sales are going poorly. Fans speculate that revenue may not be available for squad building. Nothing is issued by the club
10. Pre season training is 'going well' and the players are 'rested'. 95% of last season's squad are in attendance with the injured Matty Done (flu) and John Brayford (achillies) absent
11. Friendlies are played. We are beaten twice and draw once against lower leage and non league opposition. The squad contains a worrying amount of seemingly uncontracted last season players and youngsters
12. First game comes. It is revealled on S24SU by 'WeRallBladesRNTWe', a new poster seemingly ITK that all contracts have been renewed where necessary and Adkins and McCabe are communicating via email and Jim Phipps. Adkins is looking for other career opportunities. The game, against local rivals Chesterfield, is watched by 12000 people, 4000 of them Spireites. United lose 0-3. Matty Done and John Brayford do not play.
13. 'WABRW' posts on the following Tuesday that Matty Done has been sold to relegated Norwich City for an undisclosed fee. Done plays in the following Saturday's game and scores two good goals.
14. United play the following weekend and draw 1-1 with newly promoted Plymouth Argyle. United's goal is a late penalty, converted by Billy Sharp who seems to be carrying an injury. Brayford is absent causing fans to speculate on his future. On the Sunday following a fan recognises a delegation from Coventry City leaving the John Street Car Park and later more prestige cars leave, followed by Brayford.
15. Brayford is sold to Coventry on the Monday. McCabe goes public with the mandatory 'If they come ... we can't refuse' schtick.
16. United continue to underperform. They are 13th at Christmas. Fans are haemorraging from the matches and who are there, are calling for Adkins to resign. 'WABRW' posts on 29th Dec that a massive bust up has happened just before Christmas between McCabe and Adkins. This is why the players were so shocking in their Boxing Day clash with Walsall which resulted in a dismal 0-2 reversal with Baxter and Collins dismissed.
17. JTW comes. Billy Sharp is rumoured to be being looked at by Bradford City, whose chairman has pledged £3.8m to reinforce their strong league position and challenge for automatic promotion. They need a target man and goalscorer and Sharp is the man.
18. Sharp is sold two days later for an 'unidisclosed' sum. A BCFC source reveals this is £275,000. United sign n o one in the JTW with explanations sounding much the same as previous seasons.
19. Adkins remians in position. United are out of all three cup challenges. The relationship with McCabe improves slightly but as gates plummet to a low of 8200 for a home game against Port Vale (which we lose 0-1) the general consensus is that Adkins should go.
20. Adkins leaves 'by mutual consent' two games before the end of the season after picking up three points from a possible fifteen. Fans on S24SU ask why he didn't finish the season but WABRW returns to explain that Adkins has had a massive, irrepairable conflaguration with McCabe where he called him a 'fucking lying cunt'.
21. United finish the 2016-17 season 15th in the third tier of English football.
22. On S24SU, WHF continues to defend the club and the board.

pommpey
 
It would have been much worse already if Sharp had got himself a serious injury earlier this season.

Just imagine where we would be without his goals. It's been a one-man performance just to get us this far - not that much above the relegation fight.
 
pommpey said:
It'll get worse like this:

1. We will continue to underperform, and results will secure us a tenth place position in league three, our lowest for some years
2. The fans will continue to get on the players backs. Adkins will continue to offer poor post match interviews citing 'luck' and emphasising non-existant positive performance statements. Team morale will sag considerably
3. Bramall Lane matchday crowds will drop by 3000-5000
4. At the last game at Bramall Lane a vocal crowd will gather in the Cherry St car park calling for the board to resign. McCabe, HRH and Phipps will not be there, however.
5. Post season, a management level meeting will had Adkins in the 'Clough Position' of back-me-or-sack-me. Adkins will table his idea of inbound transfer targets which will be largely sneered at.
6. Plans will be revealled for a £650,000 upgrade of Club Shop and Executive Suite facilities with the long term aim of attracting conferencing and merchandise opportunities. This is increased by £100,000 the following week in a small box-column in the Star.
7. The summer transfer season looms. It is revealled Baxter has completed his rehabilitation work and is 'fit as a fiddle' and ready to take on the new season. The retained/released list is strangely delayed as management is in 'consideration'
8. The transfer season opens with nothing coming from the club official or unofficial sources
9. Season ticket sales are going poorly. Fans speculate that revenue may not be available for squad building. Nothing is issued by the club
10. Pre season training is 'going well' and the players are 'rested'. 95% of last season's squad are in attendance with the injured Matty Done (flu) and John Brayford (achillies) absent
11. Friendlies are played. We are beaten twice and draw once against lower leage and non league opposition. The squad contains a worrying amount of seemingly uncontracted last season players and youngsters
12. First game comes. It is revealled on S24SU by 'WeRallBladesRNTWe', a new poster seemingly ITK that all contracts have been renewed where necessary and Adkins and McCabe are communicating via email and Jim Phipps. Adkins is looking for other career opportunities. The game, against local rivals Chesterfield, is watched by 12000 people, 4000 of them Spireites. United lose 0-3. Matty Done and John Brayford do not play.
13. 'WABRW' posts on the following Tuesday that Matty Done has been sold to relegated Norwich City for an undisclosed fee. Done plays in the following Saturday's game and scores two good goals.
14. United play the following weekend and draw 1-1 with newly promoted Plymouth Argyle. United's goal is a late penalty, converted by Billy Sharp who seems to be carrying an injury. Brayford is absent causing fans to speculate on his future. On the Sunday following a fan recognises a delegation from Coventry City leaving the John Street Car Park and later more prestige cars leave, followed by Brayford.
15. Brayford is sold to Coventry on the Monday. McCabe goes public with the mandatory 'If they come ... we can't refuse' schtick.
16. United continue to underperform. They are 13th at Christmas. Fans are haemorraging from the matches and who are there, are calling for Adkins to resign. 'WABRW' posts on 29th Dec that a massive bust up has happened just before Christmas between McCabe and Adkins. This is why the players were so shocking in their Boxing Day clash with Walsall which resulted in a dismal 0-2 reversal with Baxter and Collins dismissed.
17. JTW comes. Billy Sharp is rumoured to be being looked at by Bradford City, whose chairman has pledged £3.8m to reinforce their strong league position and challenge for automatic promotion. They need a target man and goalscorer and Sharp is the man.
18. Sharp is sold two days later for an 'unidisclosed' sum. A BCFC source reveals this is £275,000. United sign n o one in the JTW with explanations sounding much the same as previous seasons.
19. Adkins remians in position. United are out of all three cup challenges. The relationship with McCabe improves slightly but as gates plummet to a low of 8200 for a home game against Port Vale (which we lose 0-1) the general consensus is that Adkins should go.
20. Adkins leaves 'by mutual consent' two games before the end of the season after picking up three points from a possible fifteen. Fans on S24SU ask why he didn't finish the season but WABRW returns to explain that Adkins has had a massive, irrepairable conflaguration with McCabe where he called him a 'fucking lying cunt'.
21. United finish the 2016-17 season 15th in the third tier of English football.
22. On S24SU, WHF continues to defend the club and the board.

pommpey
Click to expand...
There's only one of those that I'm certain of, number 22.
 
pommpey said:
It'll get worse like this:

1. We will continue to underperform, and results will secure us a tenth place position in league three, our lowest for some years
2. The fans will continue to get on the players backs. Adkins will continue to offer poor post match interviews citing 'luck' and emphasising non-existant positive performance statements. Team morale will sag considerably
3. Bramall Lane matchday crowds will drop by 3000-5000
4. At the last game at Bramall Lane a vocal crowd will gather in the Cherry St car park calling for the board to resign. McCabe, HRH and Phipps will not be there, however.
5. Post season, a management level meeting will had Adkins in the 'Clough Position' of back-me-or-sack-me. Adkins will table his idea of inbound transfer targets which will be largely sneered at.
6. Plans will be revealled for a £650,000 upgrade of Club Shop and Executive Suite facilities with the long term aim of attracting conferencing and merchandise opportunities. This is increased by £100,000 the following week in a small box-column in the Star.
7. The summer transfer season looms. It is revealled Baxter has completed his rehabilitation work and is 'fit as a fiddle' and ready to take on the new season. The retained/released list is strangely delayed as management is in 'consideration'
8. The transfer season opens with nothing coming from the club official or unofficial sources
9. Season ticket sales are going poorly. Fans speculate that revenue may not be available for squad building. Nothing is issued by the club
10. Pre season training is 'going well' and the players are 'rested'. 95% of last season's squad are in attendance with the injured Matty Done (flu) and John Brayford (achillies) absent
11. Friendlies are played. We are beaten twice and draw once against lower leage and non league opposition. The squad contains a worrying amount of seemingly uncontracted last season players and youngsters
12. First game comes. It is revealled on S24SU by 'WeRallBladesRNTWe', a new poster seemingly ITK that all contracts have been renewed where necessary and Adkins and McCabe are communicating via email and Jim Phipps. Adkins is looking for other career opportunities. The game, against local rivals Chesterfield, is watched by 12000 people, 4000 of them Spireites. United lose 0-3. Matty Done and John Brayford do not play.
13. 'WABRW' posts on the following Tuesday that Matty Done has been sold to relegated Norwich City for an undisclosed fee. Done plays in the following Saturday's game and scores two good goals.
14. United play the following weekend and draw 1-1 with newly promoted Plymouth Argyle. United's goal is a late penalty, converted by Billy Sharp who seems to be carrying an injury. Brayford is absent causing fans to speculate on his future. On the Sunday following a fan recognises a delegation from Coventry City leaving the John Street Car Park and later more prestige cars leave, followed by Brayford.
15. Brayford is sold to Coventry on the Monday. McCabe goes public with the mandatory 'If they come ... we can't refuse' schtick.
16. United continue to underperform. They are 13th at Christmas. Fans are haemorraging from the matches and who are there, are calling for Adkins to resign. 'WABRW' posts on 29th Dec that a massive bust up has happened just before Christmas between McCabe and Adkins. This is why the players were so shocking in their Boxing Day clash with Walsall which resulted in a dismal 0-2 reversal with Baxter and Collins dismissed.
17. JTW comes. Billy Sharp is rumoured to be being looked at by Bradford City, whose chairman has pledged £3.8m to reinforce their strong league position and challenge for automatic promotion. They need a target man and goalscorer and Sharp is the man.
18. Sharp is sold two days later for an 'unidisclosed' sum. A BCFC source reveals this is £275,000. United sign n o one in the JTW with explanations sounding much the same as previous seasons.
19. Adkins remians in position. United are out of all three cup challenges. The relationship with McCabe improves slightly but as gates plummet to a low of 8200 for a home game against Port Vale (which we lose 0-1) the general consensus is that Adkins should go.
20. Adkins leaves 'by mutual consent' two games before the end of the season after picking up three points from a possible fifteen. Fans on S24SU ask why he didn't finish the season but WABRW returns to explain that Adkins has had a massive, irrepairable conflaguration with McCabe where he called him a 'fucking lying cunt'.
21. United finish the 2016-17 season 15th in the third tier of English football.
22. On S24SU, WHF continues to defend the club and the board.

pommpey
Click to expand...

Sorry after all that effort but that's just carrying on as we have been, not getting worse :oops:
 



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