Hoooooooof

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There's no such fucking thing as "hoof". Sometimes it works to play long, sometimes to play short.

Probably the cuntiest term ever invented.

Exactly, you wouldn't go up to Kevin De Bruyne and go "Ere Kev, you're a hoofing bastard aren't you".

If we could score reliably from goal kicks to Leon I wouldn't complain.

A good long ball is a thing of beauty, and who gives a shit as long as we get 3 points at the end of the match.
 
Exactly, you wouldn't go up to Kevin De Bruyne and go "Ere Kev, you're a hoofing bastard aren't you".

If we could score reliably from goal kicks to Leon I wouldn't complain.

A good long ball is a thing of beauty, and who gives a shit as long as we get 3 points at the end of the match.

You'd be surprised at the number of lily-livered arseholes who would rather see pretty aesthetics than tangible success.
 
The only thing I am concerned abaht is them smashing up some of are players for Derby ...
 
I think there is such a thing as hoof, but it's not about the long ball, it's about the long ball to no-one. Panicky lower league defenders do it every time the ball comes near them.
You could argue the phrase is used pejoratively rather than descriptively to deride teams who play a certain way.

Long balls designed to catch the opposition CBs napping and provide ammunition for our strikers to latch onto in space is not remotely hoof, it's just smart play, if it happens to work. Nothing against it, we should always be looking to mix up our play to surprise the other team.
 
Exactly, you wouldn't go up to Kevin De Bruyne and go "Ere Kev, you're a hoofing bastard aren't you".

If we could score reliably from goal kicks to Leon I wouldn't complain.

A good long ball is a thing of beauty, and who gives a shit as long as we get 3 points at the end of the match.


Indeed. Our first goal at Villa was on the back of a superb long pass.

Can't stand all the snobbery over the long ball/short ball thing . It seems to me that the description of a long pass changes according to what club you are, or what manager you have.
 
There's no such fucking thing as "hoof". Sometimes it works to play long, sometimes to play short.

Probably the cuntiest term ever invented.
Disagree with this. Hitting it aimlessly long, or just long in behind the full backs in order to turn them, is awful football to watch and is mindless hence “hoof”.
As someone who pays to watch a match I think I’m allowed to state an opinion on the type of football I’d like to watch and have an issue with this approach.
Additionally, people who ignorantly describe direct play as “hoof” or “long ball” should have a circle of hell specially for their stupid selves inorder to keep them away from the general population and preventing this dumbness spreading.
 
Disagree with this. Hitting it aimlessly long, or just long in behind the full backs in order to turn them, is awful football to watch and is mindless hence “hoof”.
As someone who pays to watch a match I think I’m allowed to state an opinion on the type of football I’d like to watch.
People who ignorantly describe direct play as “hoof” or “long ball” should have a circle of hell specially for their stupid selves inorder to keep them away from the general population and preventing this dumbness spreading.

I've only rarely seen evidence of the first part.

I agree wholeheartedly with the second part.
 
It's smart, and quite satisfying, to use an outlet like Donaldson by knocking balls into the channels and behind defenders knowing he'll make something of it. Especially in the harder games, it can be a real leveller.
 
There is most certainly such a thing as ‘hoof’. It’s a grotesque form of anti-football long since abandoned by football in favour of playing the right way (a phrase in constant use by our manager and denoting pass and move football).

There is a world of difference between a Currie or Hoddle Long Pass to the feet of a team mate or into his path without breaking stride on the one hand and a Vinny Fucking Jones aimless punt in the general direction of the opposition goal on the other. Anyone who can’t recognise that fundamental and axiomatic proposition is beyond help, I’m afraid.

Hoof is the legacy of Diplodocus Dave Bassett, Charles “POMO” Hughes and John Beck all of whom were put out to Jurassic Grass and became unemployable a very long time ago. I believe chronic neck-strain was partly to blame.

It’s only remaining devotees occupy an area of wasteland in S2. They are unsophisticated, parochial numbskulls with no discernible vocabulary save for the Stone Age cry of Gerrituptfield.

The right way - proper football. It wins games and is a joy to watch. Ask Tufty. He’s a staunch advocate, much to the hoofers’ chagrin.
 



There is most certainly such a thing as ‘hoof’. It’s a grotesque form of anti-football long since abandoned by football in favour of playing the right way (a phrase in constant use by our manager and denoting pass and move football).

There is a world of difference between a Currie or Hoddle Long Pass to the feet of a team mate or into his path without breaking stride on the one hand and a Vinny Fucking Jones aimless punt in the general direction of the opposition goal on the other. Anyone who can’t recognise that fundamental and axiomatic proposition is beyond help, I’m afraid.

Hoof is the legacy of Diplodocus Dave Bassett, Charles “POMO” Hughes and John Beck all of whom were put out to Jurassic Grass and became unemployable a very long time ago. I believe chronic neck-strain was partly to blame.

It’s only remaining devotees occupy an area of wasteland in S2. They are unsophisticated, parochial numbskulls with no discernible vocabulary save for the Stone Age cry of Gerrituptfield.

The right way - proper football. It wins games and is a joy to watch. Ask Tufty. He’s a staunch advocate, much to the hoofers’ chagrin.

"Tufty" - as you've never known him, was a "Bladey non-entity" in your eyes you disingenous cretin. Which renders everything else you've posted utterly meaningless (not to mention repeated ad nauseum as always).
 
Disingenuous.

Ad nauseam.

Hoofers - as intelligent as the ‘football’ they hold so dear. They richly deserve each other.
 
Disingenuous.

Ad nauseam.

Hoofers - as intelligent as the ‘football’ they hold so dear. They richly deserve each other.

The last refuge of a cretin who's been sussed.

Scuttle away little eunuch...
 
Yeah but pinchy lives in the real world beyond Shoreham Street where there's no bladey S2/s13 parochial claptrap so he's got to be reyt!
 
Yeah but pinchy lives in the real world beyond Shoreham Street where there's no bladey S2/s13 parochial claptrap so he's got to be reyt!

He lives alone in the rural backwaters of Derbyshire with fuck-all but red wine and the remnants of a lonely life to keep him company.

If I was more generous I'd let the poor mite indulge his delusions of importance, but this board deserves better.
 
Right, that’s enough fly-swatting for one night.

Well done Blades. Excellent 3-0 win and in the Right Way. Thanks Tufty and your proper Tuftyball.
 
Right, that’s enough fly-swatting for one night.

Well done Blades. Excellent 3-0 win and in the Right Way. Thanks Tufty and your proper Tuftyball.

Utterly eviscerated once again.

Another flawless victory. You never learn.
 
Hoof/longball- a kick upfield into an area of the pitch completely unoccupied by one of your own players. Seen at the Lane in various guises over the years and most recently under cackwell. Usually paramount to the tactic are set pieces, where balls are then lumped into the oppos area with no real plan other than to see if something drops for us in there. Teams that are hoofball sides will do this non stop, and show no ability to do anything else and generally have footballers incapable of stringing two accurate passes together.

Completely despised by me, and if you can’t differentiate between that and a long pass to the feet or stride of an unmarked team mate, or switching play quickly from one side to the other then I am afraid you are lost. There’s a time and place for a long pass, usually after you have committed opponents to one part of the pitch due to an ability to keep the ball and open up space elsewhere. It’s really not rocket science, I suggest one or two take some time to study the game a bit more and look beyond the score line. There’s a hell of a lot more to it in pro football than simply having better players.
 
I remember when we beat Bolton, Wilder called it the best win of the season so far.
Yesterday he also referred to them as the old rivals.
Should be a good'un.
 
If the full back is isolated on your CF and you can put the ball behind him and your CF chases it down 99% of the time the worst result is an attacking throw in. Works for me

The later version of Wayne Quinn who used to hit the centre of the other teams right CBs forehead 10 times a game? That's not so great :D:D
 
Must've upset the Tippy Tappy Taliban off summat chronic watching the goals at Villa.

Me? I was busy celebrating.
 
Tyler Durden is a fine man with a highly tuned bullshit detector. In this instance, though, I fear his judgement is clouded by the identity of his main antagonist.

For hoof, like evil, doth indeed exist in the world !

It cometh often in a track suit !

Its sport is unwatchable !

Its face is shrouded in the blackest of darkness !

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Phil "Parky" Parkinson with his SkyBet Lifetime Hoof Award

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