Gary Speed

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Haven't seen this posted anywhere else - sorry if it has - http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/tragic-gary-speed-stayed-paedophile-9349710

So Bennell says he didn't abuse Gary Speed but you couldn't trust a single fucking word from that shit - The possible implications of this are truly dreadful - feel desperately sorry the Gary's family. Hadn't realised until today that Ashley Ward was another who was under the control of this vermin - looking at things in hindsight is bloody painful sometimes.
 
It’s very very sad when anyone has troubles in life & feel that the only option left is to end it , has devasting effects to all around them , often ppl don’t realise that things had got that bad
 
John Street West Terrace said:
It’s very very sad when anyone has troubles in life & feel that the only option left is to end it , has devasting effects to all around them , often ppl don’t realise that things had got that bad
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Very true. It's often up to people around them to try and spot the signs, but it's not always easy as they can hide things very well. I was talking with someone the other week who is being treated for depression. They told me that they had been prescribed anti-depressants by their GP, but even though they were going back to the GP for repeat prescriptions and telling the GP that the tablets were working well, secretly, they were just piling up in the bathroom cabinet. They weren't taking them regularly - in fact, they'd decided by themselves that they were going to wean themselves off the tablets and that was what they were trying to do.

The problem with this is that the way these anti-depressants work is that it takes a while to build up levels of the drug in the system before they begin to kick in and lift mood. Patients can be withdrawn from treatment, but it's absolutely essential this is done gradually under a doctor's instruction. Otherwise the mood can come crashing down suddenly and the person could find themselves in a really deep, suicidal, depression. This is what happened to someone I know. They thought they were doing the right thing for themselves by stopping taking the tablets, then "WHAM", they hit a real depth of depression and attempted suicide. It's common unfortunately.

As to this having devastating effects on others around them, it certainly does. I used to think people like this were ultimately selfish, but now I know better. You can only be selfish if you are in control of your emotions and making a conscious choice. These poor folk aren't in that situation. Their emotions are in control of them.

Anyone with anxiety or depression can get expert help for free. The starting point is to visit your GP. It isn't just about taking "happy pills", but there are other services a GP can put you in touch with to really tackle the root causes and literally change a person's life before it's too late. I've seen the changes that are possible -and it's amazing. I hope this message might do some people, some good.
 
Cerberus Blade said:
Anyone with anxiety or depression can get expert help for free. The starting point is to visit your GP. It isn't just about taking "happy pills", but there are other services a GP can put you in touch with to really tackle the root causes and literally change a person's life before it's too late. I've seen the changes that are possible -and it's amazing. I hope this message might do some people, some good.
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I think the starting point is convincing yourself that things aren't right before they get too far. That's often the difficulty as an individual. You tell people you're alright.

Sounds cliched but as work colleagues, friends and family its about spotting the signs. Its not to say that you should be approaching everyone and asking if they're alright when they're having a shite day (as i had), but you can see over time that people are changing. I've been quite open with people around me about the issues i had last year (and occasionally regress again now), so its allowed people to ask me about it. But i've also seen the signs with others and rather than tell them to get help, just relayed my experienced of the therapy I had (CBT). Two lasses i mentioned this to in separate conversations, one has spoken to me at length since and is building up to getting some help and the second one i hadn't clicked why she'd asked me, but messaged me a month later to say that she was going through therapy and how much it helped.
 
SwissBlade said:
I think the starting point is convincing yourself that things aren't right before they get too far. That's often the difficulty as an individual. You tell people you're alright.

Sounds cliched but as work colleagues, friends and family its about spotting the signs. Its not to say that you should be approaching everyone and asking if they're alright when they're having a shite day (as i had), but you can see over time that people are changing. I've been quite open with people around me about the issues i had last year (and occasionally regress again now), so its allowed people to ask me about it. But i've also seen the signs with others and rather than tell them to get help, just relayed my experienced of the therapy I had (CBT). Two lasses i mentioned this to in separate conversations, one has spoken to me at length since and is building up to getting some help and the second one i hadn't clicked why she'd asked me, but messaged me a month later to say that she was going through therapy and how much it helped.
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Love you Swiss :)
 
[QUOTE="

As to this having devastating effects on others around them, it certainly does. I used to think people like this were ultimately selfish, but now I know better. You can only be selfish if you are in control of your emotions and making a conscious choice. These poor folk aren't in that situation. Their emotions are in control of them.[/QUOTE]


Well said pal.
 
Let him go to prison for life, let the inmates have a little chat with him, see how big he is then, let him be in fear for his safety for the rest of his horrible little life. Every hour of every day for ever.
 
In relation to what others have posted I have also been through CBT therapy bout 7/8 years ago, it's all about taking that first step and saying to yourself "I Need help", it is not an easy thing to do, you try to cocoon your self with a defensive shield that says to everyone..."Hey Look I'm Ok...." when deep down inside you are twisting and tearing yourself apart both physically and emotionally.

RIP Speedo,
Might be gone but never forgotten.
 



Speedo turns out to be one of 4 men who have took their lives after been coached by the pedo to much of a coincidence their if you ask me , rip Gary brilliant footballer and a even nicer gent .
 
wavy-blade said:
Speedo turns out to be one of 4 men who have took their lives after been coached by the pedo to much of a coincidence their if you ask me , rip Gary brilliant footballer and a even nicer gent .
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Difficult to know what the reasons were for the four individuals taking their lives

Speedo as you say, brilliant footballer and an inspirational one at that.
 
Just to reiterate what SwissBlade said about coming off the anti-depressants.

After nearly 2 years struggling I went to the docs and was put on happy pills. They take about 3 weeks to really get going. I felt like I had failed to man up and was embarrassed about taking them and as soon as I started feeling better thought I was cured and stopped dead.
It took about another week to really hit me, first wondering why I wasn't feeling better every day then convincing myself they had never worked and feeling just as bad if not worse as well as feeling very angry.
Lucky for me I had a follow up appointment on an unrelated matter, doc asked how I was feeling and wanted to give me a repeat prescription. Told her not to bother I'd stopped taking them and felt just as bad. Boy did she give me a ticking off. Had to start again building up to the dose and eventually did the trick. After I was on top of it I went on a controlled reducing dose for around 6 weeks.
Truth is depression is like an adiction in my experience, once you've beaten it it's always there in the background waiting to catch you again, and sometimes I don't know why you feel like letting it back in.
 
Blade56 said:
Just to reiterate what SwissBlade said about coming off the anti-depressants.

After nearly 2 years struggling I went to the docs and was put on happy pills. They take about 3 weeks to really get going. I felt like I had failed to man up and was embarrassed about taking them and as soon as I started feeling better thought I was cured and stopped dead.
It took about another week to really hit me, first wondering why I wasn't feeling better every day then convincing myself they had never worked and feeling just as bad if not worse as well as feeling very angry.
Lucky for me I had a follow up appointment on an unrelated matter, doc asked how I was feeling and wanted to give me a repeat prescription. Told her not to bother I'd stopped taking them and felt just as bad. Boy did she give me a ticking off. Had to start again building up to the dose and eventually did the trick. After I was on top of it I went on a controlled reducing dose for around 6 weeks.
Truth is depression is like an adiction in my experience, once you've beaten it it's always there in the background waiting to catch you again, and sometimes I don't know why you feel like letting it back in.
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Interesting to hear your first hand account B56. Was depression in your family at any stage? There is a genetic link, although it's more likely to be down to other factors.

My wife thinks I'm a really strong character because I've never given in and become depressed even when things have been very tough. But I think it's more to do with me not being pre-disposed to it like some folk are, and I've every sympathy for those who are not so fortunate.
 
Cerberus Blade said:
Interesting to hear your first hand account B56. Was depression in your family at any stage? There is a genetic link, although it's more likely to be down to other factors.

My wife thinks I'm a really strong character because I've never given in and become depressed even when things have been very tough. But I think it's more to do with me not being pre-disposed to it like some folk are, and I've every sympathy for those who are not so fortunate.
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Not that I'm aware of, but it was 'never talked about' before this generation. I struggle now to talk about it but I hope the experience helps others.

Just be careful CB, I was (am) the strong one, thought I coped, not depressed just 'coping with a lot'. That black dog is a cunning bastard, you are usually the last one to realise or admit it's got to you.
 
Blade56 said:
Not that I'm aware of, but it was 'never talked about' before this generation. I struggle now to talk about it but I hope the experience helps others.

Just be careful CB, I was (am) the strong one, thought I coped, not depressed just 'coping with a lot'. That black dog is a cunning bastard, you are usually the last one to realise or admit it's got to you.
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Is that the same “big dog” that McCabe referred to as in “when the big dog comes knocking”?

Strange analogy, I thought at the time. I’ve had big dogs shitting on my lawn, but never had one knock at my door. Then again, we’ve got a doorbell so maybe that explains it?
 
There is a lot of speculation here I guess no one will ever really know why Gary did what he did.

As for Bennell when he gets sent down don’t give him a protected cell on the Nonces wing, just put him in with the general population, I reckon he will last about a day then.
 
Let's close the thread please ....we all have an idea on Speed ...and we all sort of know what he did ...but dragging this up is no good

Delete this thread be best
 
Just a point about Bennell. We hear all the time these days that people shouldn't 'spout hate' and 'advocate violence' on social media. But it seems that everyone gets a free pass when it comes to nonces.

I have no sympathy for anyone who commits such crimes, but surely they should be subject to the rule of law like anyone else, as opposed to torture and extra judicial execution as some seem to be advocating
 
Class act on and off the pitch.

Still one of my favourite signings of all time purely down to how much I'd admired him and never thought we'd sign someone like him.

If he'd signed a year earlier he'd have kept us up (I know that wasnt an option).

Speed and Nolan was one of the best midfield partnerships in that Prem season for me.
 
Not sure why, but was thinking of Gary Speed's death last night, a couple of things probably triggered it and funnily enough its only a few days until its 8 years since his death.

I have no idea why Speedo's death really resonated/ affected me so much, but i think it is because it was so unexpected and the realisation that it could be anyone. Success and perceptions we have of a person seem to mask what could possibly be going on behind the scenes. I've read so many things about how nobody knew and they didn't see it coming. Isn't this often the way.

I'm not ashamed to say that 3 years ago i had my own struggles. Looking back they probably weren't as bad as i thought they were at the time, but i just didn't know where to turn. But i realised i was struggling and got in touch with the doctor and then she put me on the right track to have some CBT.

With time and support my perspective has possibly changed. Back then i didn't know what to do. I struggled to talk to people about these things in my head. I've managed to get on top of these things now and sometimes i also feel embarrassed that i ever felt like that as my issues are tiny and minor compared to what other people go through. But that's the point. As an individual we perhaps think that other people would laugh or be annoyed that we're bringing our little problems to the table.

Truth is though that these so called minor issues can be the tipping point. Is there a mental health stigma? In my experience its perhaps not what it was 20 or 30 years ago and i think that amongst the generations in their 60's plus, they perhaps still see it as a weakness. But among people below that i think the issue is more that people are busy and don't have time to ask how people actually are.

I've been lucky enough to have had CBT and i learnt a lot about myself and how i deal with things. I now talk openly about what triggered me to get help. I feel that i am more approachable now for this subject and i can perhaps also see some signs when others are having "bad days".

I'm not preaching by any means and i know that the mental health thread on here has been a big success in helping people to chat about their own experiences. I know a few people who've realised that they themselves may need some support just from reading that thread.

So the big thing which i'm leading up to is to talk to family, mates, colleagues. Firstly if you yourself are struggling, no matter how minor, just mention it. You will see how responsive people are. Not everyone will listen, care or help. But some will and its fantastic to learn who those people are. They may not be the close family or friends you think.

Secondly, watch the signs of others changing. It could be a gradual change, it could be a throwaway status on Social media or comment in the pub. But ask. Ask how someone is. If they give you a throwaway "yeah i'm good", ask again, i've found that saying something like "are you really alright?" can open the door for them to turn around and say that actually they're not alright.

As always, feel free to PM me directly if you feel that it might help you. I'll always respond and whilst i am not a professional in this matter, I can give you my experiences.

RIP Speedo. Your passing taught me more than you'll ever realise.
 
SwissBlade said:
Not sure why, but was thinking of Gary Speed's death last night, a couple of things probably triggered it and funnily enough its only a few days until its 8 years since his death.

I have no idea why Speedo's death really resonated/ affected me so much, but i think it is because it was so unexpected and the realisation that it could be anyone. Success and perceptions we have of a person seem to mask what could possibly be going on behind the scenes. I've read so many things about how nobody knew and they didn't see it coming. Isn't this often the way.

I'm not ashamed to say that 3 years ago i had my own struggles. Looking back they probably weren't as bad as i thought they were at the time, but i just didn't know where to turn. But i realised i was struggling and got in touch with the doctor and then she put me on the right track to have some CBT.

With time and support my perspective has possibly changed. Back then i didn't know what to do. I struggled to talk to people about these things in my head. I've managed to get on top of these things now and sometimes i also feel embarrassed that i ever felt like that as my issues are tiny and minor compared to what other people go through. But that's the point. As an individual we perhaps think that other people would laugh or be annoyed that we're bringing our little problems to the table.

Truth is though that these so called minor issues can be the tipping point. Is there a mental health stigma? In my experience its perhaps not what it was 20 or 30 years ago and i think that amongst the generations in their 60's plus, they perhaps still see it as a weakness. But among people below that i think the issue is more that people are busy and don't have time to ask how people actually are.

I've been lucky enough to have had CBT and i learnt a lot about myself and how i deal with things. I now talk openly about what triggered me to get help. I feel that i am more approachable now for this subject and i can perhaps also see some signs when others are having "bad days".

I'm not preaching by any means and i know that the mental health thread on here has been a big success in helping people to chat about their own experiences. I know a few people who've realised that they themselves may need some support just from reading that thread.

So the big thing which i'm leading up to is to talk to family, mates, colleagues. Firstly if you yourself are struggling, no matter how minor, just mention it. You will see how responsive people are. Not everyone will listen, care or help. But some will and its fantastic to learn who those people are. They may not be the close family or friends you think.

Secondly, watch the signs of others changing. It could be a gradual change, it could be a throwaway status on Social media or comment in the pub. But ask. Ask how someone is. If they give you a throwaway "yeah i'm good", ask again, i've found that saying something like "are you really alright?" can open the door for them to turn around and say that actually they're not alright.

As always, feel free to PM me directly if you feel that it might help you. I'll always respond and whilst i am not a professional in this matter, I can give you my experiences.

RIP Speedo. Your passing taught me more than you'll ever realise.
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Great read. Think you have hit the nail on the head with the word Embarrassment that’s the thing that stops everyone from doing anything about almost everything. So if anyone’s feeling too embarrassed get in touch with SwissBlade it really does help.
 
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