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Maidenhead

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I can't remember exactly when it was but reading Berkshire's comments on his season ticket renewal and the hassle of travelling brought the following memory back to me.

One saturday some time ago I left my home in Maidenhead at around 10.45 as usual for a Saturday home game.

All was going well as I was cruising up the M1 about a mile south of Leicester Forest Services when I joined the back of a stationary queue.

No problem I thought. It's only 12.00 and I've got loads of time.

How wrong could I be?

Turns out that some guy was threatening to jump onto the motorway from the bridge at the services. I wish I had known at the time, I could have gone and given him a push and we could have got moving.

However, not to be. By now the queue behind was huge, the motorway ahead was closed and there was no where to go and no information from anywhere.

The guy behind me a Forset fan on his way to Nottingham so at least one other fan missed their game that day.

After more than 6 hrs tuned into Radio 5 and talksport, and hearing that United had beaten the mighty Rotherham 1-0 we finally got moving again so at 6.30pm I turned around at the next junction and rejoined the motorway southbound, at just about exactly the same time as I would have been there had I been to the game.

Arriving home I got the usuall cheery greeting from my wife "good game dear?"

If only I knew the answer.

Can anybody match that for a frustrating Blades day where the frustration ahd absolutely nothing to do with activities on the pitch?
 

I went to an away match against Bradford some years ago on the train, only to find some inconsiderate twat had buggered many people's evenings by jumping in front of a moving train. My brother and I were informed by a nice railway chap that we'd best get the next train back to Sheffield as it was the last one that would be running for hours while they mopped the succesful suicide up.
 
I went to an away match against Bradford some years ago on the train, only to find some inconsiderate twat had buggered many people's evenings by jumping in front of a moving train. My brother and I were informed by a nice railway chap that we'd best get the next train back to Sheffield as it was the last one that would be running for hours while they mopped the succesful suicide up.

But at least he did it.

The bugger that scuppered my day didn't have the guts to go through with it.

A complete waster
 
Autumn 2005 and the ill-fated trip to Malta, booked just hours before the club cancelled the short mid-season tour? Ditto for Fleety, but that's been covered. I suppose in that case, there was no game to miss. I have another one of those.......

It was early eighties, not sure of the exact year. I was living in Bolton and made the trip over to Bradford for an evening game. Unbeknown to me, the match had been called off because high winds had brought a floodlight pylon down at Valley Parade, not the usual cause of a postponement.

Again, there was no game to miss. I suppose Greenwich Blade, hitchhiker extraordinaire would be your man for faling to get there in time, Norwich away a few seasons back, when he got to Carrow Road in time for the final whistle and I think we lost?
 
Autumn 2005 and the ill-fated trip to Malta, booked just hours before the club cancelled the short mid-season tour? Ditto for Fleety, but that's been covered. I suppose in that case, there was no game to miss. I have another one of those.......

It was early eighties, not sure of the exact year. I was living in Bolton and made the trip over to Bradford for an evening game. Unbeknown to me, the match had been called off because high winds had brought a floodlight pylon down at Valley Parade, not the usual cause of a postponement.

Again, there was no game to miss. I suppose Greenwich Blade, hitchhiker extraordinaire would be your man for faling to get there in time, Norwich away a few seasons back, when he got to Carrow Road in time for the final whistle and I think we lost?

Not to mention Charlton last season when Greenwich refused to remove the chain attaching his wallet to his belt so the stewards refused him admission.

Greenwich doesn't count.

He's a special case
 
Autumn 2005 and the ill-fated trip to Malta, booked just hours before the club cancelled the short mid-season tour? Ditto for Fleety, but that's been covered. I suppose in that case, there was no game to miss. I have another one of those.......

You should have booked with Expedia. We did exactly the same but ended up getting out of it thanks to a lengthy discussion with a lovely Irish lass at their call center. Managed to charm her into cancelling it for us without a fee :D

I'm not entirely sure the news of my success cheered Fleety up at the time :)
 
Watford at home, midweek two seasons ago (I think). Stood on the platform at Westgate waiting for southbound train only to find out the last one going down to Sheffield was the one I'd got off to meet with Meanwood of ex-BU fame as someone had stolen some copper stuff which had closed the line down. A quick (well....) sprint to Kirkgate to catch the via Barnsley route and problem solved. Except they were backed up to Leeds and running about an hour late. Worked out if there were no more delays we'd be down in time for the second half, we bailed and went to watch the midweek version of GSS in the pub instead. Missed a classic apparently.

Then there was the time someone on BU had pissed me off to the nth degree -bloke from one of these Thames valley dormitory towns as I recall - always clapping, so I went and threated to jump off a Motorway bridge in the knowledge it would bugger his day up. But that's another story.......
 
First game of the season 1998/99, home game against Swindon Town. Set off from Northamptonshire around 10.30am on a scorching hot day. Made good progress and enjoyed good banter with a jobsworth Swindon season ticket holder who I played Sunday morning football with and had offered a lift to. Anyway, got to just south of Markham Moor when my car (1991 BMW with 100,000+ on the clock) decided to give up the ghost as I approcached a layby. No problem I thought I'll use my flash mobile phone, forgetting that it was a fucking useless analogue one that you could only really get a signal on in cities. Not to be deterred I opted to use the breakdown free phone that was in the layby to call the AA. After much discussion lasting over an hour they basically ended up calling me a liar and that they didn't have an emergency phone at any part of the A1 north bound close to me. Arrghhhhhhhh!
It was no approaching noon but time was still on our side so starting to feel dehydration setting in we elected to walk to Markham Moor roundabout where there were there were proper phones and refreshments. We found a call box and I called the AA on the hour every hour for the next 3 hours but the promised patrolman never turned up. As luck would have it I took the executive decison to go for a pint at the Markham Moor pub which was located towards the back of the services to kill some time. It was now past 3pm and the Swindon lad was giving me pelters having not missed an opening game for over 20 years. It was time to gamble and I ordered another beer, after beer after beer only puncuated by hourly phone calls to the AA questioning where the hell the 4th Emergency Service was!
It was 7.30pm, or 9 hours after we broke down before the AA showed up and we were approaching double figures in terms of pints. Fortunately the car wasn't able to be repaired at the side of the road (I've not idea what we'd have done as neither of us was capable of driving) and we were towed back home for the full 60 miles. I was eventually compensated by the AA to the tune of £50 and a years free membership.

Blades finished the winners 2-1.
 
April 15th 1989. Stuck on the hard shoulder of the M1, on the way to Northampton with a flat tyre. Spent all afternoon listening to reports from Hillsborough.

Great fun!
 
Watford at home, midweek two seasons ago (I think). Stood on the platform at Westgate waiting for southbound train only to find out the last one going down to Sheffield was the one I'd got off to meet with Meanwood of ex-BU fame as someone had stolen some copper stuff which had closed the line down. A quick (well....) sprint to Kirkgate to catch the via Barnsley route and problem solved. Except they were backed up to Leeds and running about an hour late. Worked out if there were no more delays we'd be down in time for the second half, we bailed and went to watch the midweek version of GSS in the pub instead. Missed a classic apparently.

Then there was the time someone on BU had pissed me off to the nth degree -bloke from one of these Thames valley dormitory towns as I recall - always clapping, so I went and threated to jump off a Motorway bridge in the knowledge it would bugger his day up. But that's another story.......

I remember some years ago United where away at Bradford and I jumped in front of a train and killed myself ..................
 

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