Funny Matchday Stories

[Silent Blade]

Home versus Man City - Kop end, 1967 I think.

City fans had taken the centre of our Kop but there was a small number of Blades up against the wall behind the goal.

One city fan in policeman's cape and helmet swinging an old table leg round his head (God knows how he got that in the ground) and challenging the Blades penned at the bottom of the Kop to come for him.

The Blades lads were just stood watching him and out of the pack a woman ran towards the City fan.

She ran straight towards him, up 4 or 5 steps and kicked him full on in the bollocks.

He soon stopped swinging that table leg

My mate (1951-2000) was in the John Street Terraces that day and told me years later that the fighting in the Kop was the worst he had seen

 

[BornOnShorehamStreet]

My mate (1951-2000) was in the John Street Terraces that day and told me years later that the fighting in the Kop was the worst he had seen

It was very bad; City had a good mob those days and a reputation to go with it

 

[atlanticblade]

I was in front of the City fans and the bloke next to me was struck on the head by a whisky bottle thrown by them.
There was a lot of blood and the bottle was laid shattered at my feet. Not many mention the amount of violence at matches
in the 60s, home and away, but it often got very scary.

 

[DifferentClass]

We went to Grimsby some years ago and my mate kept going on about how he couldn't wait for his pre-match meal of "proper" fish and chips(being in Cod country and all that).

We went into this chippy and my mate ordered a large cod and chips.
The girl behind the counter said "We don't have any fish"
Imagine her face as my mate, after a pause, shouted "Are you fucking serious? Dangle a fucking rod out the back door!"

I dangled my rod out of the back door once... now I'm on some kind of register.

 

[KeyffSmyff]

QPR home and for once I went to the John St stand as I hadn't been before. We got a free kick and I think Kenny Samson just stood by the ball to stop it being taken. One of our lads kicked the ball into his bollocks, got a telling off from the ref.

 

[ancientblade]

My mate (1951-2000) was in the John Street Terraces that day and told me years later that the fighting in the Kop was the worst he had seen

was at that game and yes was a very violent day think united won 1 - 0 mick jones united fans were in their usual place at the bottom behind the kop goal city fans were right above us it was the september game with wednesday the season after that united fans moved to the top of the kop

 

[DifferentClass]

was at that game and yes was a very violent day think united won 1 - 0 mick jones united fans were in their usual place at the bottom behind the kop goal city fans were right above us it was the september game with wednesday the season after that united fans moved to the top of the kop

Been told about bottles of piss, coins, rocks etc. flying about.

People say the atmos is "too sanitised" these days but at least we don't have to worry about having lethal stuff thrown at us.

 

[Tezza1889]

A couple spring to mind, both from the 90s but here goes..

I used to stand behind the net on the kop, little to the right bout 15 rows back, anyway must have been Forest and Peter Shilton is in the net fresh from italia 90 where he'd been controversially linked with a fair maiden called Tina.. Allegedly a bit of How's your father had taken place during the tournament and the papers had got wind of it and printed a story.

So for the duration of the game an old fella who's about two rows back is shouting "up and down Shilton, up and down" pretty much the whole match but inter sperced with the odd cries of "Tinaaaaaaa Tinaaaaaaa get on top".

Think Shillts gave him a clap at the end, can't remember the score.

Then Leicester away (that game) there's loads of lads in facy dress etc and we're behind the goal, a single wire fence separated us from the LC fans and of course we walk in pretty early as we aren't boozing back then, so bloke dressed as a ladybird gets hit with a ten Bob, could have been the bumble bee it's a while ago, and promptly starts bleeding from above the eye, picks 10 Bob up pockets it and shouts cheers,then there's a bit of baiting going on, bloke with a pie casually walks over to fence where they're spitting at the blades who were having to stand there as that pen filled up, calls a mouthy one over and exchanges a few words, once he gets close to the fence he leathers the pie at the lad, splitting it open on the fence and covering all the fuckers in steak (just the one bit of course) and kidney pie... Gravy all over em... Cheers and applause as the lad wiped the hot* pukka of his face..

*Rarely will you encounter a hot pie at football..but it appeared that this was the one which had managed to slip through the net and retain a modicum of actual heat... He squealed like a pig when he kopped it..

 

[Keen Blade]

We'd won something like eight games in a row and the front page of the Green 'Un is my second favourite after "Blades Glory, *wls Down". It has a picture of Deano with the ball at his feet, with the streaker to one side of him and the headline "Winning Streak".

It was Trig Jnr (TY)'s first ever game and all he could talk about when we got home was how big the ground was and how it was loud and there were lots of people there (he was 6 at the time). All I could think about was erect nipples The whole day out eventually became an article in Flashing Blade.

I can think about erect nipples any day of the week - have you watched the remake of 'The Getaway' ? It's difficult to obtain coz Kim Basinger & Alec Baldwin were together at the time + the sex scene is more than convincing - her nipples are like feckin bullets

 

[Keen Blade]

I can think about erect nipples any day of the week - have you watched the remake of 'The Getaway' ? It's difficult to obtain coz Kim Basinger & Alec Baldwin were together at the time + the sex scene is more than convincing - her nipples are like feckin bullets

I reckon after their divorce she got an injunction to prevent further sales of the DVD - I managed to get one via snail mail from Greece. Parts of it are worn out though

 

[United Aren't Back.]

Streaker ran on the pitch at BDTBL (forgot date and opposition), with stewards quite clearly avoiding the default rugby tackle...

Early March 1991 v Aston Villa.

 

[John Street West Terrace]

Female?

Vs. Stoke City, night game? Friday 25th april 1997

Ahh but what time was it MB … 23 mins & 42.84 secs I vaguely rememmembet