Forging a Blade

[TonyAgana]

Just wondered if anyone has been in a similar position to me.

My wife is a Wednesday season ticket holder and from the day we first discussed having kids, she's "promised" me she's going to make Owls out of them. Has anyone else been faced with this and if so, how would you go about making sure your kids make the right choice? I don't want to have to dis-own my kids. :thumbup:

 

[raul]

Brownie is your man on this one:gallop:

 

[DazBlade88]

My advice would have been don't marry a Wednesday fan

 

[TonyAgana]

My advice would have been don't marry a Wednesday fan

Heh!! Bit late, Daz! Thanks though!

 

[La_Blade]

What I would do is agree that she takes the little 'un to a match and then you do the same. Let the Mrs take the first go and take him/her to a game. Then when its your turn spoil em rotten, take em to McDonalds, the club shop, wherever you need to go to ensure that when asked which one they preferred thet answer UNITED !!!
It'll work like a charm and a Blade is forged

 

[Robbie]

Smack her in the face - tell the kids they're next if they don't stay in line and be Blades.

 

[TonyAgana]

Erm... I'll go with La_Blade's as "Plan A" and maybe resort to Robbie's "Plan B" should that fail.

 

[parisblade]

Erm... I'll go with La_Blade's as "Plan A" and maybe resort to Robbie's "Plan B" should that fail.

Plan C - divorce?

 

[Thelooneytuner]

Tell them if they go to wendy games with mummy a wierd and sick man called mr strapon may take them away and they will never see mummy and daddy again

but if they go to a united match a nice old friendly chap called kevin who looks like a friendly grandad will send you a birthday card from all the players on your birthday and even give you the title of JUNIOR BLADE!

Failing that resort to robbies above method

 

[La_Blade]

Plan C - divorce?

Whoah, when I said spend a bit of money, I didn't mean that much

 

[TAMUS]

Learn them the GCB song asap.

 

[eckington_blade]

simple if it's a boy it's a blade and if it's a girl it's a grunter

 

[Guesty]

simple if it's a boy it's a blade and if it's a girl it's a grunter

Don't be ridiculous! Any daughter he should have should be abandonned as a lost cause? That's like Spartans putting weak babies out to be eaten by wolves.

 

[SwissBlade]

I don't agree with Child cruelty, but sometimes its the only way they learn.

Let the wife take said child to the sty, they will soon realise themselves if they are smart.

If they don't realise then install a bath in the garden and wash the child in disinfectant after each game before allowing said child back in the house and continue this process for 18 years, if symptoms persist, dissown the little waster and chuck them out on the street.

Questions need to be asked as to why such a relationship was allowed to get so far in the first place without setting down the ground rules for the children.

Seems clear who wears the trousers in your house

 

[bricktop]

My situation is a bit easier than yours though Tony Agana.

My missus has only been to the Sty a couple of times since i have been with her, so therefore will probably not be going to Hillsborough any time soon.

Therefore my young un will have a choice of shopping with mother on saturday afternoon, or the match with his Dad. And if i'm unavailable there is also the best mate who has volunteered to take him, or failing that the father in-law.

If all else fails then i suggest your best option is divorce

:help::help::help::nana:

:gallop:

 

[judge]

is your young un a lad or a lass brownie ?

 

[TonyAgana]

Haha! Well, to be fair, 10 years ago I laughed it off as I considered it preposterous and a complete non-starter. Since that time though, she's gradually got more and more of her family members involved and they're all primed and ready for "Operation: Piglet", whereas I've rested on my laurels somewhat. I find myself ill-prepared for battle so as the time is getting near, I thought I'd call on the experience of others in the hope that I can defend against such an uprising.

You're right though. She's in the trousers - and not in the good way.

 

[bricktop]

He is a lad, and he loves the Blades at the tender age of 12 weeks old.

 

[raul]

You say that, but just been on Porktalk and there's a poster calling herself "The Sweetness" harping on about how her Boy was born to be an Owl....

 

[raul]

:gallop::gallop::gallop:

 

[Come from away]

After going to your first game, how can you not love the Blades. Just make sure they are the first.

 

[bricktop]

You say that, but just been on Porktalk and there's a poster calling herself "The Sweetness" harping on about how her Boy was born to be an Owl....

Thats it, she is now banned from using the internet

 

[SouthEssexBlade]

It's all about the experience TA.

You need to have a strategy. Time to fight dirty and sneaky with a win-at-all-costs mentality, ensuring if possible that the swamp visit is vile and BL is awesome!

1. Make sure they attend a piggy game first, but make it a ponce of a game like Northampton at home in the Carling cup (night game getting tired and a bit mardy, maybe school in the morning). Use the excuse that as a first game a smaller crowd will be less intimidating and (s)he will enjoy it more (we all know this is bollocks as it was the ripping atmos at BDTBL that we fell in love with).

2. When you take them to BDTBL make sure it's a corker of a fixture and a Saturday, big crowd with lots of away fans. As said previously, make sure it's a day out. Go early and pre-warn everybody on here what's happening. Make sure you call to the Lion and let everyone from here spoil the little 'un stupid and make a right old fuss of him/her. To the shop for the customary gift. Sit in a vocal but mature section of the ground and sing your head off.

3. Sit back and bask in the glow as (s)he announces to the in-laws, I'm a Blade like my Dad!

If that fails, I'll give you the number of my divorce solicitor.

 

[JFK]

This is so simple.

Let the child decide. If it chooses Wednesday disown the pair of them. :thumbup:

 

[TonyAgana]

Thanks SEB, that sounds like a plan! If the wife catches wind of this she'll have my nuts in a vice.

 

[SwissBlade]

Haha! Well, to be fair, 10 years ago I laughed it off as I considered it preposterous and a complete non-starter. Since that time though, she's gradually got more and more of her family members involved and they're all primed and ready for "Operation: Piglet", whereas I've rested on my laurels somewhat. I find myself ill-prepared for battle so as the time is getting near, I thought I'd call on the experience of others in the hope that I can defend against such an uprising.

You're right though. She's in the trousers - and not in the good way.

The other option is to keep it in your trousers and use contraception until you get it in writing that the young un will be a Blade.

 

[shorehamview]

My father-in-law is a season ticket holder at the Sty. I knew this before we got married, but warned my wife that any offspring from my fertile loins would be Blades. No arguments, no discussion, just ones of the few times that I was allowed to lay down the law without getting laughed at.
When I was asked what I would do if my child came home in a Wendy shirt my answer was simple. "Get straight to Barnardo's and give them up for adoption" was the witty reply. I have since changed this to "Kill the fucker that made her wear it. Seriously. Kill them and feed their body to the pigs. Real ones."

However, all panic was unnecessary, as all family members from both sides of the divide had had it made abundantly clear to them when Mrs SV was pregnant that this child would be a Blade. This reassured other Blades that I was in fact a fit and proper parent, and told all Wendy fans I was not a man to fuck around with on matters football. End of.

I also made doubly sure by registering my daughter, at approximately three hours old, as a Junior Blade. She now has her own shirt, loves United, shouts "Piggyyyyyy" at anyone and anything in blue and white stripes, and regularly tells her Grandad that Wendy are rubbish and United are great.

Thus, my work is done.

 

[Kenilworth]

Contraception!
Don't spread the gene pool.

Adoption is another possible answer - if she is willing to go.

 

[The Fox]

On the subject of Offspring and who they support .
A Cautionary Tale entitled
" I dont Know Which is worse "

My Neighbours are Pigs , All of them Mum DAd and the two lads nice people but fully paid up porkers and ST holders at the sty.

All wear the colourts on match day and alot of time during the week aswell

FFwd to this summer - One Lad in a Brand New Chelsea Kit , The Other In a Brand New Liverpool Kit . These are worn on non match days .

Would any self respecting blade let their kids wear any other shirt? ( barcelona Real Madrid Excepted as thats how kids are)

Social services have been informed!

 

[Kenilworth]

FFwd to this summer - One Lad in a Brand New Chelsea Kit , The Other In a Brand New Liverpool Kit . These are worn on non match days .
QUOTE]

Me and Kenilworth Jnr always take the P*** out of kids with Chelski and 'Pool shirts here in the Midlands. There is no excuse for wearing different colours at all. You might think that living away from Sheffield all his life might mean he could be tempted to follow another star - but no, it's deeply ingrained in the DNA. I'm a Blade and he is a Blade and forever thereafter shall be.

No namby pamby, weaked willed, glory huntin,g truffle chunting, half breed, snort beasts here.