Player Suggestion Every Fucker

[Pinchy]

Whoever's available. From any club; anywhere in the world. They play for another club so they must be fantastic. That club's fans all say how good they are.

One of them once scored a goal against us and another came third in his club's player of the month competition.

They could all do a job for us so they have to be worth a punt. Young, experienced, geriatric, who cares? We all know some players mature at different rates to others.

Good, average or fucking useless. It doesn't matter. It's all about transfers. Everyone knows that the sooner you sign players, the beterrer they are. It's no different to picking sides in the school playground.

Gerremin. Gerremallin.

What? He's gone where?

Missed out again. Fucking hell, United.

 

[gavtheblade]

Always been wank at getting players in ffs. ................

 

[Snowman]

Whoever's available. From any club; anywhere in the world. They play for another club so they must be fantastic. That club's fans all say how good they are.

One of them once scored a goal against us and another came third in his club's player of the month competition.

They could all do a job for us so they have to be worth a punt. Young, experienced, geriatric, who cares? We all know some players mature at different rates to others.

Good, average or fucking useless. It doesn't matter. It's all about transfers. Everyone knows that the sooner you sign players, the beterrer they are. It's no different to picking sides in the school playground.

Gerremin. Gerremallin.

What? He's gone where?

Missed out again. Fucking hell, United.

You having a minor meltdown Pinkers? Chill. Only in S2.

 

[Keef Chedwyn]

Oh look, there goes Pinchy being hilarious again.

 

[R&WStripedBlood]

So, weers thy earrd dat den pal?

 

[lingsbord]

I think what he means is this: Every player in the world is absolute shite unless Pinchy and "one or two others" give their seal of approval, so the simple solution is to make Pinchy Director of Football, because then we'll only have exactly the right players that the manager will want/need to take us to the Premier League.

Why are we fucking about? This guy is the fucking oracle when it comes to players, so stop wasting time and money - Pinchy for DOF and then we either win the Champions League, in which case we all recommend him for an OBE, or he screws up, finally gets off his self-built high horse and shuts the fuck up about any player suggested by anyone else that he either doesn't like or didn't suggest first.

Anyway, that Victor Anichebe. He's available on a free, he's scored some goals, he'd be great! Gerrimin! (I have two casters, some luncheon meat and Hilary Briss's special groundbait on this one)

 

[JonnyRed(WCFC)]

has the fax machine broken again?

 

[Pinchy]

has the fax machine broken again?

It fell out with Clough. No idea what actually happened but it must have been Clough's fault.

 

[SteveBlade]

Would probably only be the 2nd strangest first name in our squad.

The surname is quite however quite bizarre.

 

[McGrath]

This would be an excellent signing. We should have signed him in January.

 

[Bruce Wayne]

If we signed every player in the world we would have a great chance of going up next season.

 

[boo radley]

I think what he means is this: Every player in the world is absolute shite unless Pinchy and "one or two others" give their seal of approval, so the simple solution is to make Pinchy Director of Football, because then we'll only have exactly the right players that the manager will want/need to take us to the Premier League.

Why are we fucking about? This guy is the fucking oracle when it comes to players, so stop wasting time and money - Pinchy for DOF and then we either win the Champions League, in which case we all recommend him for an OBE, or he screws up, finally gets off his self-built high horse and shuts the fuck up about any player suggested by anyone else that he either doesn't like or didn't suggest first.

Anyway, that Victor Anichebe. He's available on a free, he's scored some goals, he'd be great! Gerrimin! (I have two casters, some luncheon meat and Hilary Briss's special groundbait on this one)

So that's why my trial went wrong!

 

[Cerberus Blade]

If we signed every player in the world we would have a great chance of going up next season.

Yes but if we did that, we'd need a manager like Adkins in charge so he could give them all a clean sheet and then spend the next 9 months wondering which ones to pick.

 

[Cerberus Blade]

I think the OP is a parody of many posts that we see on here. A name comes up as being available - and almost immediately we have "experts" on here who rush to tell us all about them and how they would be great for us. The reality is that many of these experts know absolutely nothing about these players - zero. They may have heard of them, but not even that in some cases. They check them out on YouTube and come on here and wax lyrical about them, as though they have followed their careers closely for years. They want to be the first to tell us how good someone is, in the hope that if we sign them and they do turn out to be good, they can claim they had the knowledge. All this leads to a constant stream of shite suggestions based on absolutely nothing. When the season starts we'll be able to look back through this thread and find that 95% of the names talked about on here will never have been under consideration for signing, but are just the products of some fans' vivid imaginations.

 

[Davalon]

Whoever's available. From any club; anywhere in the world. They play for another club so they must be fantastic. That club's fans all say how good they are.

One of them once scored a goal against us and another came third in his club's player of the month competition.

They could all do a job for us so they have to be worth a punt. Young, experienced, geriatric, who cares? We all know some players mature at different rates to others.

Good, average or fucking useless. It doesn't matter. It's all about transfers. Everyone knows that the sooner you sign players, the beterrer they are. It's no different to picking sides in the school playground.

Gerremin. Gerremallin.

What? He's gone where?

Missed out again. Fucking hell, United.

Source?

 

[wizadry]

The thing that makes me laugh is that they never have to look at or even be in this section if some of the people like Pinchy don't like what's in it. Chucking some dummies out of the pram and reacting to the suggestions made by posters gets you nowhere. If you don't like it then just ignore it, simple really.

 

[Dec]

I think the OP is a parody of many posts that we see on here.

I'm so thankful you're here to point that out. I thought it was a genuine suggestion.

 

[Silent Blade]

I think the OP is a parody of many posts that we see on here. A name comes up as being available - and almost immediately we have "experts" on here who rush to tell us all about them and how they would be great for us. The reality is that many of these experts know absolutely nothing about these players - zero. They may have heard of them, but not even that in some cases. They check them out on YouTube and come on here and wax lyrical about them, as though they have followed their careers closely for years. They want to be the first to tell us how good someone is, in the hope that if we sign them and they do turn out to be good, they can claim they had the knowledge. All this leads to a constant stream of shite suggestions based on absolutely nothing. When the season starts we'll be able to look back through this thread and find that 95% of the names talked about on here will never have been under consideration for signing, but are just the products of some fans' vivid imaginations.

Fully agree

 

[mosbolad]

Whoever's available. From any club; anywhere in the world. They play for another club so they must be fantastic. That club's fans all say how good they are.

One of them once scored a goal against us and another came third in his club's player of the month competition.

They could all do a job for us so they have to be worth a punt. Young, experienced, geriatric, who cares? We all know some players mature at different rates to others.

Good, average or fucking useless. It doesn't matter. It's all about transfers. Everyone knows that the sooner you sign players, the beterrer they are. It's no different to picking sides in the school playground.

Gerremin. Gerremallin.

What? He's gone where?

Missed out again. Fucking hell, United.

 

[Berlin Blade]

You're such a knob.

 

[Pinchy]

A bit young bit yeah, let's givimarun.

 

[Snowman]

I'm so thankful you're here to point that out. I thought it was a genuine suggestion.

God you're perceptive!

 

[mosbolad]

A bit young bit yeah, let's givimarun.