Can an hypnotist change a Blades fan into a Wednesday fan?

[silver blade]

Asking for a friend

 

[Nade]

Yes

 

[Eddiecolquhounsleg]

Ask your avatar.

 

[Berkshire Blade]

Yes they can make someone act like a pig.

 

[Zero dark thirty]

Don't tell champagneblade he'll get me hypnotised to be a Blade.

 

[Pilley-Blade]

You missed a trick, why ask others fans when you can ask AI?

I did and it told me this:

Can you use hypnotism to turn one of the blue and white faithful into a proper football fan?

In short: No chance. You can't polish a pig.

Trying to hypnotise a Wednesday fan into supporting United would be like trying to teach a cat to bark. Their subconscious is a dark and scary place, full of little more than faded memories of the 90s, the lingering taste of WKD, and a deep, primal fear of finishing above 15th in any given table.

A hypnotist would get them in the chair and say, "You are feeling relaxed... you will now forget the trauma of supporting a club that peaked before the internet was invented... you will feel an urge to wear red and white..." and the subject's brain would simply melt. The internal conflict between their core programming and the sheer, unadulterated joy of being a Blade would cause a system shutdown. The poor hypnotist would probably need therapy afterwards.

Let's put it this way. What's more likely?

1. A hypnotist convinces a die-hard Owl that Bramall Lane is a cathedral of football and that the Greasy Chip Butty song is a musical masterpiece.
2. Sheffield United's scouting network, armed with nothing but a rusty Lada and a vague tip from a bloke in a pub, successfully navigates the Bulgarian Second Division to find a 19-year-old winger with the pace of a cheetah and a left foot like a traction engine.

Honestly, the second one is infinitely more plausible. Recognising raw talent in the far-flung fields of Bulgaria is a difficult professional challenge. Trying to reprogramme a Wednesday fan is a futile attempt to reverse-engineer a miracle. One is a tough job; the other violates the fundamental laws of nature and common sense.

You don't need hypnotism to follow the Blades. You just need a working brain and a soul.


You cannot say AI does not have a sense of humour !!

 

[Alfiesdad]

Lobotomy required.

 

[Gavlar]

Yes. I think we have no idea about the ability of hypnotists to convince people to do anything. They could be bloody dangerous if they wanted to be.

 

[Jon Bon II]

Yes. I think we have no idea about the ability of hypnotists to convince people to do anything. They could be bloody dangerous if they wanted to be.

One turned me into a newt. I got better.