Brooksy's Illness

[Isaw Joeshaw]

I've heard it's a really bad case he's got, that he could be out for at least two years and might never be the same.

I also understand that two of the the well known side effects are for the sufferer to lose the ability to perform nutmegs and to put the ball in the net from seemingly impossible angles.

In view of the above, if I were Liverpool or any other club thinking of making a bid for him, I'd fuck off somewhere else.

 

[Harrisblade]

I also understand that two of the the well known side effects are for the sufferer to lose the ability to perform nutmegs and to put the ball in the net from seemingly impossible angles.

That's what will happen more and more if you leave the bloody Tories in charge of the NHS

 

[Treeton Blade]

I ate a load of crab omelette at Cosmo and was sick for a day a few months back.

Ah, the old crab omelette illness, who hasn`t had that

 

[Danny_Boy]

Unfortunately I have had the misfortune of having it twice now and feel really sorry for DB as its a horrible illness and really does knock the stuffing out of you.

First time when I was 18 and off work for a month and bedridden for the 1st 3 weeks of that. 2nd time I ended up in hospital as my glands had swollen so much I couldn't breathe so the ambulance had to be called and currently laid up in bed with it possibly for the 3rd time so happy days with the Derby just over a week away .

Not sure how true it is but the 1st time I had it I was told that some of the symptoms ie excessive tiredness can hang around for up to 10 years afterwards and he certainly won't be back fully firing this season I wouldn't have thought.

Poor Lad.

Jeez and I thought it was one of the illnesses you could only get once. Get well soon.

 

[Isaw Joeshaw]

I ate a load of crab omelette at Cosmo and was sick for a day a few months back.

This should have come as no surprise. Had you kept up with the narrative which has been running for sometime on this and other forums, you would have been aware that any goods or services with the word ' crab' in their name, should be treated with extreme caution, including their omelettes.

This is due to the fact that, in a short space of time, they have gone from being the very epitome of a well run company of the highest integrity, providing the highest standards of quality and customer service, to one whose practices can be described as dubious, to say the least.

This is as a result of the fact that the Chairman and founder of the group found it impossible to cope with the massive success which the company at first enjoyed and found it necessary to employ certain individuals whose moral standards leave much to be desired and who are driven solely by the profit motive, rather than the virtues mentioned above.

Such has been their fall from grace that it is widely rumoured that the Chairman is about to ' do a Woolhouse ' which would be a sad loss , given his obvious entrepreneurial talents which our country is sadly deficient in.

 

[BushBlade]

This should have come as no surprise. Had you kept up with the narrative which has been running for sometime on this and other forums, you would have been aware that any goods or services with the word ' crab' in their name, should be treated with extreme caution, including their omelettes.

This is due to the fact that, in a short space of time, they have gone from being the very epitome of a well run company of the highest integrity, providing the highest standards of quality and customer service, to one whose practices can be described as dubious, to say the least.

This is as a result of the fact that the Chairman and founder of the group found it impossible to cope with the massive success which the company at first enjoyed and found it necessary to employ certain individuals whose moral standards leave much to be desired and who are driven solely by the profit motive, rather than the virtues mentioned above.

Such has been their fall from grace that it is widely rumoured that the Chairman is about to ' do a Woolhouse ' which would be a sad loss , given his obvious entrepreneurial talents which our country is sadly deficient in.

You're confusing crab with tuna.

 

[Isaw Joeshaw]

You're confusing crab with tuna.

No, I'll be coming on to that company later but my research is proving to be extremely difficult due to the 'corporate veil ' being drawn on many of their activities.

 

[Tom Bott]

No, I'll be coming on to that company later but my research is proving to be extremely difficult due to the 'corporate veil ' being drawn on many of their activities.

I've heard that one of the drivers for DD Cabs is defecting to Uber and is going to reveal all about the murky activities of the Dolphin killer.

He is rushed off his feet at the moment with all the season ticket refunds but is hoping to come out in a couple of weeks.

 

[Sean Thornton]

This should have come as no surprise. Had you kept up with the narrative which has been running for sometime on this and other forums, you would have been aware that any goods or services with the word ' crab' in their name, should be treated with extreme caution, including their omelettes.

This is due to the fact that, in a short space of time, they have gone from being the very epitome of a well run company of the highest integrity, providing the highest standards of quality and customer service, to one whose practices can be described as dubious, to say the least.

This is as a result of the fact that the Chairman and founder of the group found it impossible to cope with the massive success which the company at first enjoyed and found it necessary to employ certain individuals whose moral standards leave much to be desired and who are driven solely by the profit motive, rather than the virtues mentioned above.

Such has been their fall from grace that it is widely rumoured that the Chairman is about to ' do a Woolhouse ' which would be a sad loss , given his obvious entrepreneurial talents which our country is sadly deficient in.

You will be hearing from our legal advisors very shortly. Probably around 3am tomorrow morning.........

 

[Tom Bott]

You will be hearing from our legal advisors very shortly. Probably around 3am tomorrow morning.........

Does big Vern also dispense 'legal advice' ?

 

[Sean Thornton]

Does big Vern also dispense 'legal advice' ?

Also?

 

[The Crab]

Ah, the old crab omelette illness, who hasn`t had that

Nobody who has dined at The Happy Crab has had that........honest.......must have been something they had somewhere else.

 

[west_yorks_blade]

This should have come as no surprise. Had you kept up with the narrative which has been running for sometime on this and other forums, you would have been aware that any goods or services with the word ' crab' in their name, should be treated with extreme caution, including their omelettes.

This is due to the fact that, in a short space of time, they have gone from being the very epitome of a well run company of the highest integrity, providing the highest standards of quality and customer service, to one whose practices can be described as dubious, to say the least.

This is as a result of the fact that the Chairman and founder of the group found it impossible to cope with the massive success which the company at first enjoyed and found it necessary to employ certain individuals whose moral standards leave much to be desired and who are driven solely by the profit motive, rather than the virtues mentioned above.

Such has been their fall from grace that it is widely rumoured that the Chairman is about to ' do a Woolhouse ' which would be a sad loss , given his obvious entrepreneurial talents which our country is sadly deficient in.

It’s no surprise that Crab Indusries has gone down the shitter.

The bloke at the top is rumoured to spend all his time ‘dicking around’ on an Internet forum rather than concentrating on his business.

 

[The Crab]

Does big Vern also dispense 'legal advice' ?

If by "legal advice" you mean "beaten to within an inch of your life" then yes, Vern dispenses Legal Advice.

 

[wavy-blade]

Must have been a s4it doctor he saw 1st when he diagnosed Tonsillitis

 

[mosbolad]

Both linked with the Herpes virus and can both be difficult to treat and clear up in some individuals

Difficult to clear up? Rather like diarrhea then...........

 

[mosbolad]

As we say at Crab Industries, "lying" is such a strong word. Misdirection, now thats a nice word.

Misdirection?......It's simply called getting older Crab. I miss mine terribly........

 

[GreasyChipBeattie]

Is Glandular Fever similar to Shingles?,I had Shingles as an adult,boy did that take some getting over

An adult boy. Is that something you are only on your 18th birthday or summat?

 

[Tommoblade66]

Not a good time to be ill

 

[mosbolad]

An adult boy. Is that something you are only on your 18th birthday or summat?

Adult boy? Yes in isolation it doesn't make much sense, much like lady boy...... Let's not be too hasty mind you Greasy..........

 

[fintious maximus]

I had it as a young man in the RAF. Medic diagnosed tonsilitis initially as sydmptomsbare similar. I was in bed for about 6 weeks and was out of sorts for about 6 months. It’s far worse than Beattie flu

 

[GreasyChipBeattie]

Adult boy? Yes in isolation it doesn't make much sense, much like lady boy...... Let's not be too hasty mind you Greasy..........

Mmmm, what about an adult lady boy acting childish.......I may have stumbled on a bit of a money spinner there

 

[FTPE]

Based on nothing, I'm calling it...
He'll be on the bench against the pigs.

 

[Cerberus Blade]

Based on nothing, I'm calling it...
He'll be on the bench against the pigs.

I think it may turn out to be bubonic plague. They should check his armpits for buboes. As long as it delays his inevitable sale I’ll be pleased.

 

[Grappler]

This should have come as no surprise. Had you kept up with the narrative which has been running for sometime on this and other forums, you would have been aware that any goods or services with the word ' crab' in their name, should be treated with extreme caution, including their omelettes.

This is due to the fact that, in a short space of time, they have gone from being the very epitome of a well run company of the highest integrity, providing the highest standards of quality and customer service, to one whose practices can be described as dubious, to say the least.

This is as a result of the fact that the Chairman and founder of the group found it impossible to cope with the massive success which the company at first enjoyed and found it necessary to employ certain individuals whose moral standards leave much to be desired and who are driven solely by the profit motive, rather than the virtues mentioned above.

Such has been their fall from grace that it is widely rumoured that the Chairman is about to ' do a Woolhouse ' which would be a sad loss , given his obvious entrepreneurial talents which our country is sadly deficient in.

"....Such has been their fall from grace that it is widely rumoured that the Chairman is about to ' do a Woolhouse ' which would be a sad loss , given his obvious entrepreneurial talents which our country is sadly deficient in...."

Worse than that, I heard he wants to "do a Hashimi......."

 

[BushBlade]

"....Such has been their fall from grace that it is widely rumoured that the Chairman is about to ' do a Woolhouse ' which would be a sad loss , given his obvious entrepreneurial talents which our country is sadly deficient in...."

Worse than that, I heard he wants to "do a Hashimi......."

If he's a crab wouldn't it be Sashimi?

 

[robbiez666]

I've had that, and anybody else who's had it knows it's an absolute fucker. Proper knocks the stuffing out of you. I had it badly as a teenager and had 2 months off school.

Big miss for the derby and beyond. Hopefully he recovers fast.

Safe bet that he'll either start the derby or it's taking longer than expected to finalise his move to Liverpool and we needed to upgrade the illness.

I can't see any reason why Chris would advertise the fact he wasn't available for the derby.

 

[TJB.]

Safe bet that he'll either start the derby or it's taking longer than expected to finalise his move to Liverpool and we needed to upgrade the illness.

I can't see any reason why Chris would advertise the fact he wasn't available for the derby.

Could just be telling it like it is. Or gesturing to other clubs not to bid for someone who's going to be out for a long time.

 

[robbiez666]

Could just be telling it like it is. Or gesturing to other clubs not to bid for someone who's going to be out for a long time.

He got upset when Brooks posted that hospital picture as it let our opponents know he wouldn't be playing. I doubt he'd do the same, especially ahead of a derby game where they fear Brooks. I doubt being ill would put anyone off bidding for him as well.

 

[Isaw Joeshaw]

You will be hearing from our legal advisors very shortly. Probably around 3am tomorrow morning.........

Thank you for the above information, which I take to mean that I should expect a visit from Big. Vern.

However, before he embarks on such a venture, I think he should be advised that, whilst he and his bunch of ragamuffins may have had some minor successes in the Park Hotel back in the '80's, he wil find the stable hands and gamekeepers here at Joeshaw Manor a different bucket of oysters altogether.

They are patrolling the grounds as I write, and have asked me to let him know that they are keenly looking forward to his visit.