JJ Sefton
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Walthamstow prefers discussing Uganda.
Bert, The Box Office and Eleven Hundred Quid.
- Thread starter Bert
- Start date
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Walthamstow prefers discussing Uganda.
Darren does mean that Darren is turning into WB. Darren apologises profusely to WB for his error.
This is generally second naure to Darren though, whenever he appears in Court Darren has to address the judge in the third person. Maybe Bert had a previous career on the bench. Is that him on the left?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVt1EY896cY&feature=related
Bert
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Did SV not see Trigger's adulatory post about Bert having retired in his 50's? Keep up please
Darren is still shell shocked by Bert's belief that an Oxford education is useless unless it enables one to retire early.
And Bert is surprised that Darren thinks that an Oxford education is the greatest thing since nipple clamps.
---------- Post added at 02:30 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:28 PM ----------
Roll up, roll up....Bert is reeling them all in today.
Nipple clamps are overrated, which having been there Darren doesn't thing you can say for an Oxford education.
Mind you, Darren would not have chosen Christ Church. The People's Republic of Balliol would have been more his scene.
SwissBlade
Well-Known Member
Swiss recommends that a committee should be set up to decide who is elegible for a discount.
Swiss elects Darren and SV to the commitee.
Bert would not qualify for a discount
Swiss also recommends that a fee of 50% ST price be charged for those trying to take the piss.
Swiss recommends that Bert be forced to sit on the kop in amongst the sex people
---------- Post added at 01:38 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:37 PM ----------
Swiss agrees with Bert, but Swiss accepts that this is not everybody's goal
Swiss elects Darren and SV to the commitee.
Bert would not qualify for a discount
Swiss also recommends that a fee of 50% ST price be charged for those trying to take the piss.
Swiss recommends that Bert be forced to sit on the kop in amongst the sex people
---------- Post added at 01:38 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:37 PM ----------
Swiss agrees with Bert, but Swiss accepts that this is not everybody's goal
Grecian2000
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Grecian is gutted to have been going on the kop for over 40 years and never met any sex people. Where do they sit?
JJ Sefton
Live, Laugh, Love
On your lap.
Walthamstow will be driving to Wales in a white Bedford Astramax with a closeted homosexual later this month.
shorehamview
Pink Sambuca drinking World Champion.
Swiss has a plan. SV suggests that people ask for a calendar for Christmas then fill in any relevant days. It might help, one never knows. One could also take notice of the seventeen letters from the club that remind one well before deadline day that such a date exists.
The committee can rule that if one late one can pay full price or one can fuck off, it's one's choice and democratic right. One can choose to spend the spring spending one's dole money on communists if one wishes, but one can't have it both ways, unless one belongs to one of those more specialised clubs like my fellow committee member, in which case having it both ways seems to be pretty much compulsory.
JJ Sefton
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Its not Kenneth Clarke's birthday till July...
shorehamview
Pink Sambuca drinking World Champion.
SwissBlade
Well-Known Member
Christ, either it's too hot or that's bloody cryptic.
Its not very warm in Zug today, so Swiss thinks that its cryptic
Darren tends to sit over to the right behind one of those bloody great pillars.
Bladesman
The Great Grumbleduke
Bladesman thinks they are not charging massive uneconomical prices hence why the "discount" price in Bladesman's view was too high anyway. Bladesman thinks Bert was not naming his price but asking for a price the club had set and will have set knowing how much profit will be made from selling at that price anyway. Bladesman thinks the club would not of been daft enough to undersell the season tickets even if they do claim to be at a discounted price.
Bladesman thinks Bert needs to e-mail the club and Bert will get the tickets at discounted prices.
shorehamview
Pink Sambuca drinking World Champion.
On the right as one looks at the Kop, or on the right as one looks at the pitch? Tis true about the sex people on the Kop. There is a base knave who sits but a few seats away from SV, and he's a proper cunt, and no mistake.
Christ, either it's too hot or that's bloody cryptic.
Darren will try to deipher it.
1. Clarke is probably the most left wing Tory member of the government so, comparatively, that makes him a Communist.
2. WB is so fixated with Clarke that he is the only Communist he can think off
3. Hence if Bert is spending his dole money on Communists it must be on Clarke
4. In WB's view one would only spend money on anyone on their birthday
5. Hence if Bert is spending money on Communists it must on KC around his birthday time.
Darren thinks.
---------- Post added at 02:53 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:50 PM ----------
Facing the Kop.
Darren wants to know if there are also Antpeople on the Kop?
"Antmusic for sexpeople
Sexmusic for Antpeople
Get off your knees and hear the insect prayer
Dirk wears white sox...."
(Adam Ant 1980)
shorehamview
Pink Sambuca drinking World Champion.
SV is currently slow-roasting a joint of pork, and as he is sat here with plenty of opportunity for reflection he is wondering when we last had a thread of this length that meandered around but was still relevant and entertaining. That fucking shed one doesn't count as either, and hasn't for a long time. SV would like to thank all contributors so far, be they correct or so far wrong that one can't see them even with a telescope.
JJ Sefton
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Walthamstow wants to know why Darren sits facing the Kop? The football has been pretty crap he'll admit but surely...
Bladesman
The Great Grumbleduke
Bladesman thinks Darren is adopting the new Man City fans facing away from the pitch celebration position.
shorehamview
Pink Sambuca drinking World Champion.
Ah, t'other side to SV. And SV would like to point out that "Don't Be Square (Be There)" was co-written by Marco Pirroni.
SwissBlade
Well-Known Member
Swiss also likes the way that this has rumbled on, perhaps the 3rd person speaking has added an edge of humour to it 
Ah, t'other side to SV. And SV would like to point out that "Don't Be Square (Be There)" was co-written by Marco Pirroni.
SV is of course correct, but is he aware of the original "Dirk Wears White Sox" song (not the album), which is rather, shall, we say, dodgy?
---------- Post added at 03:03 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:02 PM ----------
Darren meant facing the pitch. It has been a long day....
---------- Post added at 03:06 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:03 PM ----------
Swiss also likes the way that this has rumbled on, perhaps the 3rd person speaking has added an edge of humour to it
Darren thinks it should be a forum rule that anyone contributing to a thread started by Bert must speak in the third person.
shorehamview
Pink Sambuca drinking World Champion.
Indeed, SV owned mucho Antmusic. SV was truly gutted when it was announced that the group had split, but then again SV was only young in 1982.
Darren must sit in a seat numbered around 140-10 ish then. SV is PI56. One away from P155, which is galling.
---------- Post added at 03:09 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:07 PM ----------
SV thinks this is a cracking idea, and might even wean Bert off such nonsense, but SV highly doubts it. Such mental problems are invariably very deep-rooted.
Bert
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Bert has consulted his memory and Bert's Memory has told him that this is the first thread that he has ever started in this section......and it may well be the last now that the club won't let him watch United for a vastly reduced price.
shorehamview
Pink Sambuca drinking World Champion.
Bert will no doubt be too busy searching for his far-flung teddy bear and dummy to start any further threads in this section, and also searching high and indeed low for anyone sympathetic to his plight, a search which SV feels may reveal a hitherto hidden island of dinosaurs before it reveals anyone with much time to spare for such an avoidable situation.
*EDIT* Bert's memory wants a good poke with a pointy stick. SV has consulted the statistics and this is in fact the fourth thread Bert has posted in this section. Perhaps Bert's memory should have prompted him with regards to season ticket renewal dates, but if it cannot tell the difference between "one" and "four" then there is no wonder it fucked up with regards to the renewal date.
JJ Sefton
Live, Laugh, Love
[video=youtube;sF1hIaHKANk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sF1hIaHKANk[/video]
SwissBlade
Well-Known Member
Swiss thinks that Bert should swallow his pride and get down for a Season Ticket at full price. So what, Bert fcuked up, but sometimes Bert has to bite the bullet and pay the price to watch Bert's beloved United.
Swiss knows that if Wilson does well at United that Swiss will have to admit he was wrong (but its unlikely that he'll have to)
Swiss and the rest of the contributors won't take the piss out of Bert too much when we see you at the games, Even though Swiss doesn't know Bert Swiss now knows that Bert will be wearing an Everest certified RAB jacket and be sitting with a sex person on the Kop.
JJ Sefton
Live, Laugh, Love
Berts memory appears to have been affected by a heavy schedule of Cuban sex tourism...
http://www.s24su.com/showthread.php?16842-The-World-s-Greatest-Footballer-Changes-Clubs&highlight=
shorehamview
Pink Sambuca drinking World Champion.
Walthy ought to look a bit higher up in the thread.......
---------- Post added at 03:20 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:17 PM ----------
SV will be scanning the Kop for a toasty warm gentleman in a RAB Sherpa Rape Cape. This will no doubt be Bert, enjoying a game of football before assaulting the difficult northerly ascent to the bogs.
JJ Sefton
Live, Laugh, Love
Walthamstow apologises. His ability to read threads has been affected by a heavy schedule of east London sex tourism.
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