Bert, The Box Office and Eleven Hundred Quid.

[Bert]

Thats alright then. Presty suspects that a Cuban jail isnt the sort of place that Bert would be made very welcome!

They have women's jails in Cuba, there is a large one just outside Las Tunas. A week in there wouldn't be such a bad thing.

 

[bricktop]

Brownie thinks that Bert throwing his toys out of the pram because Bert couldn't be bothered to renew in time is one of the funniest things Brownie has read on the internet in ages.

Brownie also thinks that there is also several other options that Bert could have taken to renew his season ticket, at the discounted price but Bert did not opt to take this option, so therefore Brownie thinks that it is Bert's own fault for not renewing Bert's season ticket in time.

Brownie also thinks that is the kop is good enough for Brownie, then it is good enough for anyone.

 

[raul]

Indeed, Bert always ran his business on the principle that a slightly reduced piece of cake is better than no cake at all.
He also was a devotee of Mr Micawber's rules of business.

Raul would seek clarification that the cake in question has been hand baked to order using only the freshest ingredients with no preservatives and that the flavour has been chosen from one or more of the 22 currently available from a leading bespoke cake designer.

If not, Bert's taste in cake is as bad as his taste in jackets.

 

[FleaPitBlade]

Raul would seek clarification that the cake in question has been hand baked to order using only the freshest ingredients with no preservatives and that the flavour has been chosen from one or more of the 22 currently available from a leading bespoke cake designer.

If not, Bert's must have got his cake from Raul.

Fixed it for you, Raul.

 

[shorehamview]

Darren thinks SV is missing the point. Its not that Bert can't afford the extra £152 (heaven forbid), it's that whilst he is happy being overcharged to the tune of - what - £300, if he is overcharged £452 it becomes a matter of principle.

SV thinks that if you miss the renewal boat the it's tough shit regardless of the reduction, be it £152 or £1.52. One gets a date and then if one misses it one can go and micturate up a halliard. One only has one's self to blame.

One can argue about the principle, but essentially the principle is that there are two sorts of people in this world.

Those who get organised and meet deadlines, and those who don't. One doesn't negotiate with the housemaster when one's prep is late. One accepts the detention like a proper English gentleman and one does one's lines, or at least get one's fag to do one's lines while one practices the forward defensive with Chuffington Major and Snipe-Warthmondleigh Minor.

 

[Bert]

Brownie thinks that Bert throwing his toys out of the pram because Bert couldn't be bothered to renew in time is one of the funniest things Brownie has read on the internet in ages.

Brownie also thinks that there is also several other options that Bert could have taken to renew his season ticket, at the discounted price but Bert did not opt to take this option, so therefore Brownie thinks that it is Bert's own fault for not renewing Bert's season ticket in time.

Brownie also thinks that is the kop is good enough for Brownie, then it is good enough for anyone.

Throwing his toys out of the pram?
Bert has merely being pointing out that the club has missed the chance of extra revenue. As Bert has pointed out he will be better off by not buying the season tickets. Even a person who sits on the Kop ought the be able to understand that.

 

[SwissBlade]

Swiss thinks that Bert took a gamble and it didn't pay off.

Swiss also believes that Bert's opinion of the Kop is misplaced.

 

[JJ Sefton]

Throwing his toys out of the pram?
Bert has merely being pointing out that the club has missed the chance of extra revenue. As Bert has pointed out he will be better off by not buying the season tickets. Even a person who sits on the Kop ought the be able to understand that.

Walthamstow thinks his QPR supporting mate would have bought a season ticket for the Lane if theyd cut the price enough.

 

[shorehamview]

Throwing his toys out of the pram?
Bert has merely being pointing out that the club has missed the chance of extra revenue. As Bert has pointed out he will be better off by not buying the season tickets. Even a person who sits on the Kop ought the be able to understand that.

Bert has, it seems, got the nark on because he hasn't sorted out his ticket. The club wouldn't let him have his own personal deadline and he is sufficiently narked to start a thread about it on here.

Even someone who spends half the year getting sunstroke and visiting, or at least ascertaining the whereabouts of foreign prisons ought to be able to under stand that.

And it's "ought to", not "ought the". People who sit on the Kop know that.

 

[Bert]

Raul would seek clarification that the cake in question has been hand baked to order using only the freshest ingredients with no preservatives and that the flavour has been chosen from one or more of the 22 currently available from a leading bespoke cake designer.

If not, Bert's taste in cake is as bad as his taste in jackets.

People climb Everest in the type of jacket that Bert wears. http://blog.rab.uk.com/2011/05/31/george-atkinson-on-the-top-of-everest/

---------- Post added at 02:06 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:03 PM ----------

Bert has, it seems, got the nark on because he hasn't sorted out his ticket. The club wouldn't let him have his own personal deadline and he is sufficiently narked to start a thread about it on here.

Even someone who spends half the year getting sunstroke and visiting, or at least ascertaining the whereabouts of foreign prisons ought to be able to under stand that.

And it's "ought to", not "ought the". People who sit on the Kop know that.

Reduced to pointing out typing errors now are you? That says it all.

 

[shorehamview]

People climb Everest in the type of jacket that Bert wears. http://blog.rab.uk.com/2011/05/31/george-atkinson-on-the-top-of-everest/

He looks like a right sex case.

The new Rape Cape. Only from Rab.......

 

[bricktop]

Bert has, it seems, got the nark on because he hasn't sorted out his ticket. The club wouldn't let him have his own personal deadline and he is sufficiently narked to start a thread about it on here.

Even someone who spends half the year getting sunstroke and visiting, or at least ascertaining the whereabouts of foreign prisons ought to be able to under stand that.

And it's "ought to", not "ought the". People who sit on the Kop know that.

Brownie agrees with this.

Brownie also thinks that Bert would prefer it if there was one set of rules for Bert, and one set of rules for everyone else, judging by the fact that Brownie has seen Bert moaning and whingeing like a little girl because the ticket office wouldn't let Bert play by his own rules.

 

[JJ Sefton]

Reduced to pointing out typing errors now are you? That says it all.

Walthamstow thinks that SV's point was that people who are going to look down their noses at people who sit on the Kop ought to get their spelling correct when they do so.

 

[Darren]

SV thinks that if you miss the renewal boat the it's tough shit regardless of the reduction, be it £152 or £1.52. One gets a date and then if one misses it one can go and micturate up a halliard. One only has one's self to blame.

One can argue about the principle, but essentially the principle is that there are two sorts of people in this world.

Those who get organised and meet deadlines, and those who don't. One doesn't negotiate with the housemaster when one's prep is late. One accepts the detention like a proper English gentleman and one does one's lines, or at least get one's fag to do one's lines while one practices the forward defensive with Chuffington Major and Snipe-Warthmondleigh Minor.

Did Darren mention his daughter was studying at Christ Church Oxford? Darren is very proud of her but doesn't like to boast about it. If SV wants to see something out of a 30's PG Wodehouse novel with lots of Chuffington Major's and Snipe Warthmondleigh Minors he should visit CC. Despite Darren's daughter having a lawyer and an academic for parents she is seen something akin to Vicky Pollard compared to her contemporaries.

 

[shorehamview]

Reduced to pointing out typing errors now are you? That says it all.

No. I'm pointing out that you fucked up by getting to the box office too late to renew and are chucking a big mardy about it. If that's not true then why do persist in posting about it?

And you chose to make a smart-arsed comment about Brownie and sitting on the Kop yet you can't even get your words out properly. There's no wonder you can't read a calendar if you can't tell the difference between "the" and "to" - numbers and dates must be a proper conundrum.

Walthamstow thinks that SV's point was that people who are going to look down their noses at people who sit on the Kop ought to get their spelling correct when they do so.

There you go Bert. Can you comprehend that? Don't get all superior about where you sit. I sit on the Kop. I will be in my seat next season too, because I renewed before the deadline.

 

[diplomat]

Diplomat is wondering how Diplomat should refer to Diplomat in future posts when expressing Diplomat's views.

 

[JJ Sefton]

Walthamstow is going to try and post in the second person.

 

[Bert]

He looks like a right sex case.

The new Rape Cape. Only from Rab.......

A 16 year old English boy climbs Everest and your only observation is that he "Looks like a right sex case".

This is one of the reasons why Bert doesn't sit on the Kop, he could end up sat next to the likes of you.

---------- Post added at 02:16 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:14 PM ----------

Did Darren mention his daughter was studying at Christ Church Oxford? Darren is very proud of her but doesn't like to boast about it. If SV wants to see something out of a 30's PG Wodehouse novel with lots of Chuffington Major's and Snipe Warthmondleigh Minors he should visit CC. Despite Darren's daughter having a lawyer and an academic for parents she is seen something akin to Vicky Pollard compared to her contemporaries.

Bert's sister went to Oxford, Bert didn't. She's still working Bert isn't.

 

[JJ Sefton]

A 16 year old English boy climbs Everest and your only observation is that he "Looks like a right sex case".

He does a bit though, be fair.

 

[shorehamview]

A 16 year old English boy climbs Everest and your only observation is that he "Looks like a right sex case".

This is one of the reasons why Bert doesn't sit on the Kop, he could end up sat next to the likes of you.

I didn't really pay too much attention to the picture. It was a joke, or at least an attempt at one. Hence the wink. Perhaps Bert could get some one of a younger generation to explain.

I just assumed anybody who would judge that equipment suited to climbing the world's highest mountain to be equally suitable to sitting in the extremely perilous altitude that is Bramall Lane would be, well, special. It turns out I was right.

 

[Tuns]

But surely Bert recognised that, in business, the choice is rarely between no cake and a cake of a single definded size. Just as SUFC's choice is not between filling the ground by charging £10 a season ticket or having an empty ground if they charged £10,000 a ticket.

Darren is naive enough to believe that SUFC put some thought into how much they charge for ST's and that they work on the principle of maximising their revenue. Their charging structure is based on what they think will maximise revenue (there's a supply and demand graph which helps you with this if Darren remembers O Level Economics aright). They may be wrong or they may be right on this judgment, but once they have reached that decision, it would be chaotic if everyone could then negotiate those prices.

If they think that's the only criteria to pricing STs then we're done for.

What about building the club, the image of the club, attracting new fans, attracting younger fans, spin offs from being a bigger club in terms of other sales and sponsorship and advertising, the effect a fuller ground has on players, fans and even attracting decent players, the effect bigger crowds has on attracting investors.

Following your O level economics logic we would be happy to set ST prices at £1,000 a head if we thought we could get 5,000 fans to buy them. We could even close a couple of stands to maximise our revenue even more if that's all that counts.

 

[Darren]

A 16 year old English boy climbs Everest and your only observation is that he "Looks like a right sex case".

This is one of the reasons why Bert doesn't sit on the Kop, he could end up sat next to the likes of you.

---------- Post added at 02:16 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:14 PM ----------



Bert's sister went to Oxford, Bert didn't. She's still working Bert isn't.

Darren thinks that says everything about Bert's scale of values.

 

[shorehamview]

Bert's sister went to Oxford, Bert didn't. She's still working Bert isn't.

Ah, Bert is unemployed. Are they not doing discounts upon production of one's UB40 any more?

Hence the nark at no discount. One's giro can only stretch so far, and presumably polyester climbing coats don't come cheap. Perhaps one of Bert's two mates could introduce Bert to some knock-offs?

 

[JJ Sefton]

If they think that's the only criteria to pricing STs then we're done for.

What about building the club, the image of the club, attracting new fans, attracting younger fans, spin offs from being a bigger club in terms of other sales and sponsorship and advertising, the effect a fuller ground has on players, fans and even attracting decent players, the effect bigger crowds has on attracting investors...

Walthamstow thinks none of those will be helped if United have a Name Your Own Price policy on season tickets. Its not Deal Or No Deal.

 

[Darren]

If they think that's the only criteria to pricing STs then we're done for.

What about building the club, the image of the club, attracting new fans, attracting younger fans, spin offs from being a bigger club in terms of other sales and sponsorship and advertising, the effect a fuller ground has on players, fans and even attracting decent players, the effect bigger crowds has on attracting investors.

Following your O level economics logic we would be happy to set ST prices at £1,000 a head if we thought we could get 5,000 fans to buy them. We could even close a couple of stands to maximise our revenue even more if that's all that counts.

Fair points, and I don't disagree that there is a balance to be struck between maximising revenue and the image of the club etc. However, if the club started charging massively unencomic prices we would soon not have a club at all.

God, I am turning into WB...

 

[Bert]

Darren thinks that says everything about Bert's scale of values.

Indeed it does, Bert prefers the Caribbean to teaching Russian.

 

[Darren]

Ah, Bert is unemployed. Are they not doing discounts upon production of one's UB40 any more?

Hence the nark at no discount. One's giro can only stretch so far, and presumably polyester climbing coats don't come cheap. Perhaps one of Bert's two mates could introduce Bert to some knock-offs?

Did SV not see Trigger's adulatory post about Bert having retired in his 50's? Keep up please

Darren is still shell shocked by Bert's belief that an Oxford education is useless unless it enables one to retire early.

 

[JJ Sefton]

God, I am turning into WB...

Doesnt Darren mean "Darren is turning into WB"?

 

[shorehamview]

Did SV not see Trigger's adulatory post about Bert having retired in his 50's? Keep up please

Darren is still shell shocked by Bert's belief that an Oxford education is useless unless it enables one to reire early.

Bert is not a pensioner. Bert does not work. Hence Bert is unemployed.

 

[Darren]

Indeed it does, Bert prefers the Caribbean to teaching Russian.

And Bert's sister may well prefer teaching Russian to lazing around in Cuba.

Darren would have certainly liked 3 years at Oxford even if it meant he had to forego those Carribean holidays.