Anyone Else Sat Near a Knobhead or Knobheads?

[BushBlade]

I know exactly what you mean Bush.

I understand that for most people, the holiday starts at the airport (mines starts the moment I get into the cab from home!). But surely to God, some consideration from people wouldn't go amiss? Is it really necessary to get wrecked at 5am in the morning and act the twat on the plane? Or recline your seat all the way back so the poor bastard behind you has fuck all room? And don't get me started about the free for all when you're trying to get off the plane. This particularly makes me laugh as they are still going to be stuck on the fucking transfer bus anyway.

I'm slowly coming to the realisation that if I'm going to have my holiday ruined by Brits, I might as well just stay in Britain.

Let's be right though. Thirty years ago, people like that couldn't afford to fly. Or they'd have to save so hard and for so long they had a bit of respect. Now, a cheap flight is treated like a coach trip. I knew very few people who'd been abroad much when I was growing up, maybe once or twice if you were lucky.

 

[Bert]

Let's be right though. Thirty years ago, people like that couldn't afford to fly. Or they'd have to save so hard and for so long they had a bit of respect. Now, a cheap flight is treated like a coach trip. I knew very few people who'd been abroad much when I was growing up, maybe once or twice if you were lucky.

It all went downhill when they started letting Scousers on planes.

 

[The Crab]

Let's be right though. Thirty years ago, people like that couldn't afford to fly. Or they'd have to save so hard and for so long they had a bit of respect. Now, a cheap flight is treated like a coach trip. I knew very few people who'd been abroad much when I was growing up, maybe once or twice if you were lucky.

I remember as a child of the 70's, going abroad was considered a luxury. But I think now, in terms of value for money its as good if not better value to go abroad. But as much as we love the people where we go to, it's just becoming too much of an effort. It will be a sad day when I finally say "I've had enough" but its coming soon I think. We tried Madeira earlier in the year and it's lovely, but you will run out of things to do before the week is out never mind the fortnight we usually go on our "big" holiday. Even there you get some mild twatism when the Cruise Ships come in.

 

[bladesfan]

Yes sat next to the biggest knobhead. He slagged the Blades the whole first half I changed seats at Half time. I saw him leave in the 80 th minute W----r.

 

[BushBlade]

Kneeing em in the back of the head " accidentally " usually works, it's getting the timing right ,just as they start leaning back,push your knees forward.

Or lean over and ask them what they want.

 

[speedymcgeady]

Or lean over and ask them what they want.[/

 

[biggey blade]

I didn't think where I sat was to bad up until this Saturday when where I questioned a man who sits further down the row to me why he leaves a couple of minutes before half time every single home game with out fail and explained it's not fair on the people around me and me also as we can't see while we are all having to move out of the way for him because he can't be bothered to wait a couple more minutes till the half time whistle has gone to which he reacted by asking me to go out side and thought it was good to try and start on me for it to which I thought was funny and say back down laughing at him. I think a certain some one needs to grow up as he wasn't a kid either must be about 50 and yet still thinks he is top dog and told me to be ready for next home game so will see what happens. I can understand it if it's the odd game where he leaves before half time early as we have all been there when we have got caught short and had to run to toilet but every single week is taking the piss a bit in my opinion.

 

[The Crab]

Or lean over and ask them what they want.

This happens a lot at the Arena too. I try to time my getting up from my seat with cutting a really nasty fart, one of those you can taste as well as smell. I'm afraid the people around me (including Ms Crab) are collateral damage

 

[DaveBassettsgoneonholiday]

Fraid so buddy. Early flight to Faro a week on Friday, usually twat central but Ms Crab does it so we essentially get an extra day out there. Personally I'd sacrifice the extra day for a less twattish flight.

From Donnington ??

 

[The Crab]

From Donnington ??

Nah, Leeds Bradford. So if it's windy I'd better make sure my Dental Records are up to date

 

[Snowman]

Yes sat next to the biggest knobhead. He slagged the Blades the whole first half I changed seats at Half time. I saw him leave in the 80 th minute W----r.

Wasn't me thank fuck. I left at half time.

 

[DaveBassettsgoneonholiday]

We're going early doors too but from Donnington but are all of that age where we're reasonably well behaved.

 

[ShockingBadBuy]

My absolute favourite of all time (more of a spanner than a knobhead, really) ...

20 years ago, I went to see Northampton v Carlisle with a Cobblers mate. We sat directly behind a bloke in his 60s, who had a tatty plastic HMV bag in which he carried his wallet, keys and flask. He spent 90 minutes shouting two things (only). It went like this:

"USE YER SKILL !" (excited)

[5-10 second pause]

"USELESS BAAASTARDS !" (disgusted)

[5-10 second pause]

"USE YER SKILL !" (excited)

[5 to 10 second pause]

"USELESS BAAASTARDS !" (disgusted)

[5 to 10 second pause]

"USE YER SKILL !" (excited)

... and so on, for the whole match. By the end it had a kind of strange hypnotic quality all of its own, like the different melodies you can hear in a fire alarm after its been ringing 20 minutes, or some very weird krautrock, or something Greenwich Blade might play on his radio show

"Useless baaastards" has been part of my daily vocabulary ever since. It's particularly useful at work, and has seen off a few managers and players at the Lane (useless baastards).

 

[1973Blade]

Before anyone can go to watch a match at Bramall Lane they should be forced to go on a four week course including lectures on football etiquette, what comments make you look stupid at a match, when it is acceptable to leave your seat to go for a piss/drink and when it is acceptable to be critical of your own player.

 

[Snowman]

I didn't think where I sat was to bad up until this Saturday when where I questioned a man who sits further down the row to me why he leaves a couple of minutes before half time every single home game with out fail and explained it's not fair on the people around me and me also as we can't see while we are all having to move out of the way for him because he can't be bothered to wait a couple more minutes till the half time whistle has gone to which he reacted by asking me to go out side and thought it was good to try and start on me for it to which I thought was funny and say back down laughing at him. I think a certain some one needs to grow up as he wasn't a kid either must be about 50 and yet still thinks he is top dog and told me to be ready for next home game so will see what happens. I can understand it if it's the odd game where he leaves before half time early as we have all been there when we have got caught short and had to run to toilet but every single week is taking the piss a bit in my opinion.

There are wankers in life. This one has to get there to knock one out before the bogs fill up.

 

[robbiez666]

I wonder what happened to the Lee Hughes ranter. He played against us 3 times at home one year and this old guy just launched a 90 minutes verbal assault on him for the first two games. Repeating the same phrases over and over again. He tried it again at the third game until a lad in front of him turned round and said "yes he's a cunt. We all know he's a cunt, but if you say it again I'm going to give you a good slap". He soon lost his voice.

 

[Pollingtonblade]

I didn't think where I sat was to bad up until this Saturday when where I questioned a man who sits further down the row to me why he leaves a couple of minutes before half time every single home game with out fail and explained it's not fair on the people around me and me also as we can't see while we are all having to move out of the way for him because he can't be bothered to wait a couple more minutes till the half time whistle has gone to which he reacted by asking me to go out side and thought it was good to try and start on me for it to which I thought was funny and say back down laughing at him. I think a certain some one needs to grow up as he wasn't a kid either must be about 50 and yet still thinks he is top dog and told me to be ready for next home game so will see what happens. I can understand it if it's the odd game where he leaves before half time early as we have all been there when we have got caught short and had to run to toilet but every single week is taking the piss a bit in my opinion.

Probably going to beat the queues.

 

[Pollingtonblade]

Before anyone can go to watch a match at Bramall Lane they should be forced to go on a four week course including lectures on football etiquette, what comments make you look stupid at a match, when it is acceptable to leave your seat to go for a piss/drink and when it is acceptable to be critical of your own player.

Delivered by Pinchy

 

[biggey blade]

Probably going to beat the queues.

so that makes it ok then that everyone else has to miss the match and could miss a goal or a key event in the game just because he can't be bothered to que?

 

[Bert]

Before anyone can go to watch a match at Bramall Lane they should be forced to go on a four week course including lectures on football etiquette, what comments make you look stupid at a match, when it is acceptable to leave your seat to go for a piss/drink and when it is acceptable to be critical of your own player.

This is the most sensible thing Bert has ever read on this forum.

 

[Pollingtonblade]

so that makes it ok then that everyone else has to miss the match and could miss a goal or a key event in the game just because he can't be bothered to que?

I'm not saying it's ok I'm explaining possible reason why, he is one of many thousands who do the same.

Former forum member brownie and yours truly envisioned that occasionally one of us would nip down early for ale, so we asked for seats next to steps which meant we were interfering with no one else's enjoyment

The way round this is to clearly give end of row seats to those who like to get a pint

 

[Blade1771]

I'm not saying it's ok I'm explaining possible reason why, he is one of many thousands who do the same.

Former forum member brownie and yours truly envisioned that occasionally one of us would nip down early for ale, so we asked for seats next to steps which meant we were interfering with no one else's enjoyment

The way round this is to clearly give end of row seats to those who like to get a pint

I saw Brownie at half time on saturday with a small child in tow, and clutching a cup of coffee at half time.

How times have changed.

 

[Fanny magnet]

I sit in front of a right pair of dickheads one is an African chief who sacrifices live goats and the other is an actual Isis terrorist who tries to get you to join the caliphate and plants explosive devices under your seat

Right pain in the arse ,im thinking of moving to the south stand

 

[Snowman]

I'm not saying it's ok I'm explaining possible reason why, he is one of many thousands who do the same.

Former forum member brownie and yours truly envisioned that occasionally one of us would nip down early for ale, so we asked for seats next to steps which meant we were interfering with no one else's enjoyment

The way round this is to clearly give end of row seats to those who like to get a pint

Both you and Brownie have gone down in my estimation, in the sense that you think that (a) there is "ale" at Bramall Lane and (b) you think you are interfering with no one when you try and access it.

 

[Sean Thornton]

I sit in front of a right pair of dickheads one is an African chief who sacrifices live goats and the other is an actual Isis terrorist who tries to get you to join the caliphate and plants explosive devices under your seat

Right pain in the arse ,im thinking of moving to the south stand

Don't bother.....

 

[sirchris]

I sit in the exact same seat as a right annoying git, he's usually a decent bloke but turns into a screaming crazed lunatic when at match.
I actually annoy myself so feel for the pope nuggets near me

 

[HodgysBrokenThumb]

This is the most sensible thing Bert has ever read on this forum.

Thank-you, Bert. You have confirmed that my son was properly brought up in the ways of BDTBL.

 

[blade too long]

I remember one old fart who used to it behind me shouting 1 goal 2 points years after it was 3 for a win
Some seem very slow on the uptake and are unaware of certain rule changes
I totally blame channel 4 and that horrible grid iron bore fest for bringing the word Drive into " soccer"

 

[I should coco]

Before anyone can go to watch a match at Bramall Lane they should be forced to go on a four week course including lectures on football etiquette

Good shout and I have helpfully provided the definitive answers:

what comments make you look stupid at a match,

Isn't Currie playing today?
Are we the ones in the stripes?
A nice view of the church from here

when it is acceptable to leave your seat to go for a piss/drink

At half time and NO earlier. Let is dribble inside your jeans if you're on the Kop as we all have to stand up to let you past.

when it is acceptable to be critical of your own player.

Never, ever, ever.........
....unless he played for the other lot or is called Dean Hammond*


*Sadly some of the regulars on here have broadened this to include Hanson, Long, Clarke, Lundstram, Lafferty and amazingly Sharp.

 

[snootyfenooty]

People go for a drink prior to a match and the result is they need a piss whenever the urge takes them. When you get to a certain age the need becomes a must. I go when I must and yeah I get the tut-tuts and looks of disdain at having the inconvenience of needing to stand up to let me past and having a partially obscured view of the match for all of about three seconds. Terrible really, puts me on a par with ISIS terrorists and hurricane disasters I suppose.