Another Top 50 Customers Letter

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Linz

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I like coming home to find a "Blades Enterprise Centre" envelope on my doormat these days...

Dear Miss Clayton,

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your continued business, support and loyalty.

As one of Sheffield United Football Club's top 50 valued customers, we would like to invite you to an exclusive preview [sic] the new 'Limited Edition Retro Football Kit box set of 1970-71' held in the Superstore on the 1st November at 6.00pm.

We will be offering a 10% discount on the night for any Retro merchandise bought in the Superstore, which will be opening late until 8pm. Also with Christmas just around the corner, the Superstore will be displaying 'Christmas Gift Ideas' for all the family.

Sheffield United FC legends Tony Currie and Ted Hemsley will be available to sign shirts in the Legends of the Lane on the evening where you are invited to be our guest for Yorkshire Style canapés and a drinks reception at 6.30pm.

If you would like to join us for the evening as a VIP guest, please confirm your attendance by 29th October via email or post and bring along this letter to gain entry.

We look forward to seeing you at our privileged customer event.

Sarina Ratcliffe-Jones
 



dunno, i had a strange urge to giggle at you being called miss :D
 
I don't need a letter telling me im a great supporter of Sheffield United, I (possibly foolishly) covered my arms and back with Sheffield United in my teenage years, I know how big a supporter i am. I couldn't afford to buy owt anyway.

pfft, almost christmas
bah humbug
 



We didn't have brilliant in our days, we had mildly good where we would have to break into someones house to post on forums such as this:D:D

MILDLY GOOD, MILDLY GOOD, you ad it easy, in my day it wer slightly better than bad. and we'd av to kidnap folk so they'd let us in there 'ouse before we cud even think bout postin on forums such as this :cry2:

:D

and for those of you who are unfamiliar with the wit and wisdome that is the Pythons "Four Yorkshiremen Sketch" here you go: -

Four Yorkshiremen Sketch

Monty Python


Four well-dressed men sitting together at a vacation resort.

Michael Palin: Ahh.. Very passable, this, very passable.

Graham Chapman: Nothing like a good glass of Chateau de Chassilier wine, ay Gessiah?

Terry Gilliam: You're right there Obediah.

Eric Idle: Who'd a thought thirty years ago we'd all be sittin' here drinking Chateau de Chassilier wine?

MP: Aye. In them days, we'd a' been glad to have the price of a cup o' tea.

GC: A cup ' COLD tea.

EI: Without milk or sugar.

TG: OR tea!

MP: In a filthy, cracked cup.

EI: We never used to have a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.

GC: The best WE could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.

TG: But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.

MP: Aye. BECAUSE we were poor. My old Dad used to say to me, "Money doesn't buy you happiness."

EI: 'E was right. I was happier then and I had NOTHIN'. We used to live in this tiiiny old house, with greaaaaat big holes in the roof.

GC: House? You were lucky to have a HOUSE! We used to live in one room, all hundred and twenty-six of us, no furniture. Half the floor was missing; we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of FALLING!

TG: You were lucky to have a ROOM! *We* used to have to live in a corridor!

MP: Ohhhh we used to DREAM of livin' in a corridor! Woulda' been a palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woken up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! House!? Hmph.

EI: Well when I say "house" it was only a hole in the ground covered by a piece of tarpolin, but it was a house to US.

GC: We were evicted from *our* hole in the ground; we had to go and live in a lake!

TG: You were lucky to have a LAKE! There were a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road.

MP: Cardboard box?

TG: Aye.

MP: You were lucky. We lived for three months in a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six o'clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down mill for fourteen hours a day week in-week out. When we got home, out Dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt!

GC: Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at three o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, go to work at the mill every day for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would beat us around the head and neck with a broken bottle, if we were LUCKY!

TG: Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.

EI: Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, (pause for laughter), eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad would kill us, and dance about on our graves singing "Hallelujah."

MP: But you try and tell the young people today that... and they won't believe ya'.

ALL: Nope, nope..

Sorry for the hijacking
 

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