Shitting the bed is a Bellfour family tradition , some may call it , curse - going back centuries.
It , in the main , usually affected the women in the family . This is believed to be because none of the Bellfour brides were allowed to see the faces of their intended until the wedding night itself . On account that the men were so so ugly and it was feared that upon sight , before vows , the women would run off in fright , thereby potentially severing the Bellfour bloodline .
This resulted in many of the Bellfour Brides ‘shitting the bed’ upon reveal . Legend has it that one bride screamed so loudly and shat so vigorously, that her mother exploded .
So , dear friend , you see I am cursed - not to shitting the bed directly, but to suffer the indignity of being covered in shit

on every date (as I refuse to be hooded after first date)
We are so vile looking that even Maurice Maurice would refuse to post pictures of us
Fact
UTBs