- The club formed because the owners of a football ground had lost its biggest source of income - their future rivals having left to build their own ground - and to give a bit of competition to that same future rival who had become the dominant team in the area.
- The club that last won a major trophy before the Wall Street Crash.
- The club that brought a close to 115 years of county cricket in their city by evicting a club that had been at the ground 34 years before they were formed, so they could knock down a beautiful pavilion and build a football stand with pink cladding on it.
- The club whose fans like to think their rivals have benefitted from more stadium funding than they have, while ignoring the fact their own club has never had to build its own ground.
- The club whose only involvement in European football was when taking on village teams from picturesque Tuscany in the Anglo-Italian Cup.
- The club who whored themselves out to a businessperson who's gender was never really confirmed, and an Asian consortium who got the club on Horizon.
- The club whose fans create fake ordnance survey maps and alleged library articles in a desperate attempt to prove their rivals should be called 'the pigs', while their team plays in shirts that look like bacon.
- The club whose fans urinate on visiting supporters, fire distress flares at children, and take great pride in their hooligan element's notoriety.
- The club who tried to get an embarrassing home defeat wiped from the record books by attacking their opponents in an attempt to get the game abandoned.
- The club whose fans take the moral high ground over the financial troubles suffered by their rivals, while ignoring the fact they owed upwards of £50m to creditors at the same time.
- The club whose fans started a hate campaign against their manager - before he'd took charge of a single game - because he used to play for their rivals.
- The club supported by Sean Bean.
- The club that blew a ten point lead in a fight against relegation, only to blame someone else and sue them for all they'd got.
- The club that then planned on suing the local council and the FA for choosing their rivals' ground over theirs for World Cup selection, then forgetting all about it when England failed to get the World Cup anyway.
- The club whose fans wanted Russia to be awarded the World Cup because of the afore-mentioned preferences shown by the FA.
- The club who rewarded a player who had failed a drugs test by giving him a new contract.
- The club who gate-crashed the 150th anniversary of the oldest club in the world just to get a picture of Pele in their shirt.
- The club who renamed one of their stands after a local athlete done good who has still never been to the ground, and gets embarrassed when she drives past it.
- The club whose fans set up a hate campaign aimed at a victim of rape, because their star striker had been jailed over the offence.
- The club who failed to take any action against the afore-mentioned player convicted of rape.
- The club that nearly put a 150 year old local non-league club out of business by suing them for £3,000 over the late payment of a youth player loan payment.
- The club who play up the fact that their ground hosted the first ever floodlit game of football - while failing to add that they were still 11 years from being formed, and that their future rivals contributed 16 out of the 22 men that played.
Sheffield United