Hull is quite a good example of a relatively new trend in football; the club whose stadium is temporarily filled by the Premier League Football fan, not the supporter of the club. In fact, the club is more or less irrelevant, these people may previously be 'TV supporting' Man Utd, Liverpool or Chelsea fans, or dare I say it in Hull's case possibly even old-time Leeds fans, (gosh, that is a sad thought) who latch on to the club as a way of seeing the established teams. Whatever the truth, they enjoy gaining gratification for their empty lives by their tenuous association with something as famous as the Premier League. Rather unfairly this genre of fan is often associated with the likes of Reading but I remember watching the biscuitmen playing at Elm park in front of a crowd of about 5,500 which was about twice the average gate of the desolate Boothferry Park at the time. It is also the case that the ersatz fan cannot resist talking utter bollocks with the zeal of newly converted when they know shit all about the history, traditions or indeed rivalries of the club they are parasitically attached to. Of course they would like to see us as rivals because it really doesn't fit with their new found vision of themselves to consider rivalries with Grimsby, Scunthorpe or even Lincoln City befitting to their current status. In fact, as we can see, we are only grudgingly seen as rivals because of course the Sky generation is only dimly aware that football exists outside of the plastic pastures of the Murdock empire. We must forgive them their excesses, for they know not what they say.
You have to remember also that other subsections of their crowd have only previously associated Wembley with grainy black and white images of Rugby League and turn misty eyed when the ball is hoofed up in the air as it brings back the dulcet tones of Eddie Waring and memories of simpler days. So Blades fans we must not respond to the guttural gruntings of these denizens of the east coast riviera, we should allow them their eccentricities, if they enjoy living in tower blocks and paving their streets with fish, who are we to object? We should not forget that the Spiders were from Mars and that the planet is a more hospitable environment than Hull. We should remember that greatness has come from Hull in the past, that Wilberforce gained his inspiration to free slaves from wandering around Hull and observing the locals, that the best thing about Hull is the bridge out of it and that it takes a lot of effort and a long time to polish the three Division Three championship trophies that sit proudly in the dusty trophy cabinet.
It may well be that it will be their day at Wembley and maybe they can go on to the lift the FA Cup; perhaps Phil Brown will emerge from the crowd and sing us a song to celebrate and perhaps Steve Bruce will retire, realising that his ambitions have at last been realised and perhaps the fans will return to the fishing village at the end of the railway siding and and celebrate with repeated homage to J Arthur. After all there is fuck all else to do in Hull.
