The Definitive Encyclopedia of Chris Porter Facts and Factoids (1st draft)

[beatific blade]

FACT: Chris Porter was Nigel Clough's first signing as Derby manager.

FACTOID: The British weather reflects Chris Porter's mood and goal-scoring form.

FACT: Chris Porter went to the same school as James Beattie.

FACTOID: Chris Porter is the son of a carpenter; others say he is fathered by some form of divine superhuman creative-authoritative being and is the source of all that is good in both man and beast.



Any contributions?

 

[TarquinDelouche]

FACT: As recently as one month ago Chris Porter was being lampooned by the fans of his own club as being not fit to wear the shirt.

 

[beatific blade]

Fickle motherflippers

 

[madeinsheffield]

FACTOID: Chris Porter is the son of a carpenter; others say he is fathered by some form of divine superhuman creative-authoritative being and is the source of all that is good in both man and beast.

Bit like Jesus, is this the second coming???

 

[stringjunior]

FACT: His goals per minute on the pitch ratio is pretty good at the moment

 

[georgebernardshaw]

FACTOID: Chris Porter is the son of a carpenter; others say he is fathered by some form of divine superhuman creative-authoritative being and is the source of all that is good in both man and beast.

Bit like Jesus, is this the second coming???

Jesus saves, but Porter scores on the rebound...

 

[boo radley]

FACT: As recently as one month ago Chris Porter was being lampooned by the fans of his own club as being not fit to wear the shirt.

FACT: It is not better dancing in the streets of the Middle East, than the streets of S2

 

[Jehovah]

When I'm lengthing our lass, she is thinking of Chris Porter, despite claiming to not know who he is.

 

[Bladepicker]

FACT: Luis Suarez has a Chris Porter duvet cover

FACT: brand name 'CP9' has recently shot up in value - it is now estimated to be worth close to the GDP of a small European nation.

 

[Damski]

Perhaps a certain Mr Hodgson will be in the stands on Sunday lunchtime, pen and notebook in hand, striking through the name of "Carrol" as CP9 scores in the 89th minute having only been on the pitch for a matter of seconds.

 

[BornOnShorehamStreet]

When I'm lengthing our lass, she is thinking of Chris Porter, despite claiming to not know who he is.

If you describe making love to your "lass" as "lengthing", I'm not surprised she thinks of Chris Porter whilst you are doing it!

 

[beatific blade]

If you describe making love to your "lass" as "lengthing", I'm not surprised she thinks of Chris Porter whilst you are doing it!

She knows him better as CP9"

 

[kop_blade9]

FACTOID: Chris Porter is the son of a carpenter; others say he is fathered by some form of divine superhuman creative-authoritative being and is the source of all that is good in both man and beast.

Bit like Jesus, is this the second coming???

Is he any good at driving because he sounds a bit like the stig

 

[BornOnShorehamStreet]

She knows him better as CP9"

She has a good imagination then!

 

[beatific blade]

She knows him better as CP9"

 

[stringjunior]

FACT: Luis Suarez has a Chris Porter duvet cover

FACT: brand name 'CP9' has recently shot up in value - it is now estimated to be worth close to the GDP of a small European nation.

About -£360b then....

 

[ZoneManWilf]

FACT: The last time Sheffield United went to Wembley, Chris Porter scored the goal that got us there.

FACTOID: He's going to do it again on Sunday \o/

 

[Rollerball]

Fact: chris porter was once known not to be able to score or "lengthen" in a free brothel, he was even known to have failed to score in "The Roxy" on a Friday night.

 

[stringjunior]

Fact: chris porter was once known not to be able to score or "lengthen" in a free brothel, he was even known to have failed to score in "The Roxy" on a Friday night.

That's impossible

 

[beatific blade]

Jehovah, Urban Dictionary doesn't have a definition for the verb, "lengthing". Perhaps you'd like to coin this word officially?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=lengthing

 

[KenMcnaughtsNuts]

He once got bit by a radioactive spider.

 

[PeterNdlovu081]

I once walked in on him lengthing both of my sisters.

I just smiled at him and then left.

 

[SwissBlade]

I once walked in on him lengthing both of my sisters.

I just smiled at him and then left.

I suppose someone had to...

 

[boo radley]

FACT:Chris Porter will forever be associated with the new buzz word of lengthing.
FACT: Jehovah WILL burst out laughing the next time he has a shag!

 

[KenMcnaughtsNuts]

If you have a short but thick dangler, is it called widthing? I'm not asking for me, i'm err asking for a friend.

 

[PeterNdlovu081]

If you have a short but thick dangler, is it called widthing? I'm not asking for me, i'm err asking for a friend.

I believe that is known as 'girthing'.

 

[BornOnShorehamStreet]

I believe that is known as 'girthing'.

Or stretching ....