How TFGs could FUU*?

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Linz

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* Fuck us up

Just so there's no surprises come the end of the season, I propose that we second-guess TFGs and work out how they're going to fuck us over. It's never as simple as us being pure shite and we've had illegal immigrants and court cases.

How about... the alleged McLothario(s) in our defence suddenly come down with syphilis-induced blindness just before the Portsmouth game, ruling them out of the last three matches of the season?
 



Coventry win all their games and appeal against their 10 point deduction. Not only do they get them back, they get given enough extra points to secure automatic promotion at our expense, as it wouldn't be fair on their fans otherwise.
 
We get to Wembley and fail to show up. Oh hang on, that's just a recurring bad memory..............


:)

UTB
 
We need a point in the last match of the season vs Preston to clinch 2nd spot.

After losing one nil at half time, the crowd are very nervous. In the bright sunshine we struggle in the second half, but manage to win a dubious penalty in the 89th minute. Don Givens, sitting in the South Stand in full Blades kit, still feeling apologetic since 1980, dashes onto the pitch, rushing past helpless stewards and stripping off his tracksuit. The ball has already been placed on the spot, he runs up, but scuffs it and it runs tamely to the keeper.

A pitch invasion ensues, the result of the onrushing crowd is that the blind referee didn't realise it was an imposter. He blows for full time to avoid any more hassle.

Police claim that Bournemouth have lost to try and calm down the crowd, but everyone knows its a lie cos its no longer 1980 and people can see their result on their iphones.

Grown men can be seen in tears, knowing that they are in for another desparate trip to Wembley!
 
We need a point in the last match of the season vs Preston to clinch 2nd spot.

After losing one nil at half time, the crowd are very nervous. In the bright sunshine we struggle in the second half, but manage to win a dubious penalty in the 89th minute. Don Givens, sitting in the South Stand in full Blades kit, still feeling apologetic since 1980, dashes onto the pitch, rushing past helpless stewards and stripping off his tracksuit. The ball has already been placed on the spot, he runs up, but scuffs it and it runs tamely to the keeper.

A pitch invasion ensues, the result of the onrushing crowd is that the blind referee didn't realise it was an imposter. He blows for full time to avoid any more hassle.

Police claim that Bournemouth have lost to try and calm down the crowd, but everyone knows its a lie cos its no longer 1980 and people can see their result on their iphones.

Grown men can be seen in tears, knowing that they are in for another desparate trip to Wembley!

It was 1981 :-)

I was at that game and remember the rumours that spread that Swindon had lost and we were thus reprieved. I even saw a bloke running out of the kop exit, arms aloft going "yessssss", presumably having just heard the rumour and being a credulous sort.
 
ah yes, course it was, thanks! Was my second game, and I still kept goin'!
 
It was 1981 :-)

I was at that game and remember the rumours that spread that Swindon had lost and we were thus reprieved. I even saw a bloke running out of the kop exit, arms aloft going "yessssss", presumably having just heard the rumour and being a credulous sort.
This season is put well into perspective when you remember the worst day in the clubs history Walsall 1981
 
Suspended players?

Harry, MacD and McMahon are getting close to a suspension I think?

Not sure of the FL rules governing yellow cards as they change for the second half of the season. I think there is also a cut off point in April, but ..........................................knowing our luck!
 
The said mr Givens when Ireland u21 manager was reminded of that match several times in a very forceful way , was asked to move away by stewards. Was questioning his parental credentials as well as his penis or vagina sex organs. Just as bad a manager as a player for us .U.T.B
 
Kudos to you!

The frightening thought is that Don Givens is now 63!
I started following football in 1970 and yesterday I was thinking "how many of the 1st division managers in Jan-Apr 1970 are still alive?". The answer is only 2! They are Wilf McGuinness (Man U) and Danny Williams (Wendy). That is a really frightening thought!
 
I started following football in 1970 and yesterday I was thinking "how many of the 1st division managers in Jan-Apr 1970 are still alive?". The answer is only 2! They are Wilf McGuinness (Man U) and Danny Williams (Wendy). That is a really frightening thought!

I was thinking a similar thing about the Labour government that fell that summer (as I do) I think that our of the Cabinet of that government, Denis Healey is the only one left alive and he is 95!
 
I was thinking a similar thing about the Labour government that fell that summer (as I do) I think that our of the Cabinet of that government, Denis Healey is the only one left alive and he is 95!
Interesting!

All the actors who have acted as James Bond are all still alive!
 



Suspended players?

Harry, MacD and McMahon are getting close to a suspension I think?

Not sure of the FL rules governing yellow cards as they change for the second half of the season. I think there is also a cut off point in April, but ..........................................knowing our luck!

The cut off point is the 2nd Sunday in April I believe(14th April). Anyone reaching 10 bookings by then gets a two mach ban
 
The cut off point is the 2nd Sunday in April I believe(14th April). Anyone reaching 10 bookings by then gets a two mach ban
Losing Maguire will be less of a concern as Higginbotham will be OK. Losing the other two would give us problems,imo
 
It was 1981 :-)

I was at that game and remember the rumours that spread that Swindon had lost and we were thus reprieved. I even saw a bloke running out of the kop exit, arms aloft going "yessssss", presumably having just heard the rumour and being a credulous sort.

And to think some people think the current squad is worse than the 1980/81 one.

The thing is, I went into that match believing that the only thing that could save us was us not losing, so when the rumour swept the ground that we'd stayed up because of Swindon losing, I wasn't totally convinced, but in the end went home thinking that we had indeed survived. And then I put Radio Hallam on and got the horror of relegation all over again.
 
i knew we got relegated, had a radio. just had to watch all the ejits celebrating over a lie. still, better than demolishing the ground i suppose.
 
Kudos to you!

The frightening thought is that Don Givens is now 63!

I'm 63 this years as well! In 1981, my then wife and I were godparents to one of Don's girls. My father in law and I had presents for Don to take home for his daughter's birthday. We waited outside the players entrance for ages until a message came out from Don that they wouldn't be out for a long time so he would come up to my place in Leeds later that day.

Very sad day but what a great season the next one was
 
I can see it now. At home to Brentford. Having beaten Swindon at the weekend to move 4points clear of 3rd placed Brentford and Brentford only having two games left after this one, SUFC have a chance to seal promotion in front of their home fans.

Having been camped in the Brentford half for 45 mins, a 0-0 score line doesn't do SUFC justice, the second half follows a similar pattern, until, wih almost the last kick of the game Brentford break, and BRadley Wright-Phillips seals the win for Brentford.

A win at Portsmouth, keeps Utd a point clear, but they then conspire to lose at Crewe, leaving them a point ahead of Brentford and 1 behind Donny with a superior goal difference. As such, a point will send Utd up (as Brentford and Donny play on the last day of the season).

You can probably fill the rest in yourselves... :facepalm:
 
I can see it now. At home to Brentford. Having beaten Swindon at the weekend to move 4points clear of 3rd placed Brentford and Brentford only having two games left after this one, SUFC have a chance to seal promotion in front of their home fans.

Having been camped in the Brentford half for 45 mins, a 0-0 score line doesn't do SUFC justice, the second half follows a similar pattern, until, wih almost the last kick of the game Brentford break, and BRadley Wright-Phillips seals the win for Brentford.

A win at Portsmouth, keeps Utd a point clear, but they then conspire to lose at Crewe, leaving them a point ahead of Brentford and 1 behind Donny with a superior goal difference. As such, a point will send Utd up (as Brentford and Donny play on the last day of the season).

You can probably fill the rest in yourselves... :facepalm:


I reckon the next 3 games will define our season. This is how I see the next week or so panning out (I think Tranmere are now well and truly out of the automatic race, given that they are now 2 points behind us with only 5 left to play and we have 3 games in hand, so I am not worrying about them).

In any sensible world, we should be beating Carlisle and Crawley at home and, if we pick up a point at Walsall, that will put us on 75.

In that period, Doncaster have 3 home games against Swindon, Tranmere and Carlise. I reckon they will draw with Swindon and win the other two, giving them 79 points.

Bournemouth have two home games against Scunthorpe and Notts Co. Lets assume they win both of those, that puts them on 76.

Brentford have away games against MK Dons and Coventry. I reckon they will draw the former and lose tha latter. That puts them on 71.

As well as the predicted draw at Doncaster, Swindon are away to Mk Dons. Thats their only other game. I reckon a draw there as well, giving them 70 points.

Thus, going into the home game v Swindon on the 13th, the table would be:

1. Doncaster: P43 pts 79
2. B'mth P43 pts 76
3. SUFC P41 pts 75
4. Brentford P41 pts 71
5. Swindon P42 pts 70

That to me puts us an extremely strong position. If we then go on to beat Swindon and Brentford, that will effectively knock them out of the race, and even, if Bournemouth win their fixture at Shrewsbury, that will put us 2 clear of them, with 3 for us to play and two for them.

The next Saturday sees us at Portsmouth (who are in fact already relegated now if we take their upcoming 10 point deduction into account) and Bournemouth are home to Carlisle. Wins for both seem likely. That sets us up nicely for clicning promotion at Crewe. Even if we mess up there we are home to nothing to play for Preston in the last game whilst Bournemouth at at probably needing points to clinch a play off place Tranmere.

I almost convinced myself there.....
 
I am told Brentford have five away games out of their remaining seven? Hopefully, that should make things very difficult for them.
 
* Fuck us up

Just so there's no surprises come the end of the season, I propose that we second-guess TFGs and work out how they're going to fuck us over. It's never as simple as us being pure shite and we've had illegal immigrants and court cases.

How about... the alleged McLothario(s) in our defence suddenly come down with syphilis-induced blindness just before the Portsmouth game, ruling them out of the last three matches of the season?

The top five teams will be on the same points and all five will win (including us) but we will miss out on second place with goal difference. We will then once again get to Wembley. It will go to penalties and Simmo's ball will return to earth and put Hill off his kick and we lose 5-4.
 



Just so there's no surprises come the end of the season, I propose that we second-guess TFGs and work out how they're going to fuck us over. It's never as simple as us being pure shite and we've had illegal immigrants and court cases.

I predicted this sort of scenario in a League 1 preview for the Guardian:

What the fans want: Automatic promotion. The play-offs, repeatedly billed as 'the best way to go up', have been one nightmare after another for us. We've been to four finals, all losses, with not even a goal to celebrate. Understandably then, you won't find a Unitedite that would be thrilled at the prospect of another one this season.

What they'll actually get: Another play-off final. We thought we'd experienced all the varieties of devastating disappointment in play-off finals, but to lose on the 11th penalty was something new. We've never lost a lead in a play-off final though (mainly due to never having one), so perhaps that will happen this time – probably in the last minute of injury time.

There you go. All my fault if that happens...
 

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