Away End Stories

All advertisments are hidden for logged in members, why not log in/register?

D

Dean Mansell

New Member
Joined
May 15, 2012
Messages
5
Reaction score
2
Hi,

A couple of years ago I posted a topic asking for funny football stories for my website (awayend). I had some great responses and stories sent in that went on the site, I am now in the process of putting a book together of all the best stories that have been sent in.

I had stories from the forum members listed below, who unfortunately I have lost contact details for. If you are one of them, could you please get in touch via this forum or the website (not added address as not sure it is allowed, but search for awayend and you will find it!) and let me know if you are happy for your story to go in the book?

Jansky
Judge
Ironbar
Mattbianco
Southessexblade

Thanks a lot and good luck at Wembley!
 



Dean Mansell

You can tag users (using the same '@' functionality as Twitter and Facebook) which sends an alert to them - might be a better way of getting their attention.
 
Will it feature dancing? Could be any really.
 
raul said:
Will it feature dancing? Could be any really.
Click to expand...
Are you asking me ? Because I don't know but yes you're rich they're is a strong chance of either alcohol or dancing being involved
 
Cheers for the replies. The remind you, the stories are below, I enjoyed them all by the way, hence going in the book:

Posted by : Nick Jansky
Date : 22/02/10
Subject : Captain Blades head!

My favourite was at Wembley for the play off final with Palace. BIFA were charged with dishing out balloons & flags (the stewards wouldn't let the flags in), and we had to report to the team coach in the Wembley car park to collect them. Nobody from the club was there to meet us, just the coach driver, who opened the boot & told us to help ourselves. We did - including Captain Blades' head.
One of our number, who shall remain nameless but is well known & a very big lad, paraded around Wembley Way with Captain Blades head on, posing for photos with kids & all sorts of general preening & cavorting. The TV cameras homed in on him, for the pre match atmosphere shots. The Blades official party were having a few drinks in a nearby hotel, when somebody apparently glanced at the TV in the bar & said to the real Captain Blade "Look!!! There's somebody wearing your head!!"
A party was despatched to track us down but it was too late, we had gone into the ground & the head was stashed under our seats.
Shortly before the teams came out there was a tannoy announcement for the Sheffield United mascot to report to the tunnel area, so our hero approached a steward & asked if he could be escorted there. The steward wouldn't take him, but showed him where to go. Unfortunately, he got the directions wrong, went through the wrong door & ended up in a bar full of Palace fans who proceeded to pelt him with plastic beer glasses. He beat a retreat back to his seat.
A few days later the club made it known that they were very upset about the loss of the head. Late one night a car pulled up on Cherry Street, the head was deposited outside reception, and the car sped off...... but not before photos were taken of various Blades of different shapes & sizes sat in a back garden wearing it.
A while later there was a documentary on TV about mascots, and the real Captain Blade was interviewed. He said that mascots are no different to players, they all aspire to appear at Wembley, and the biggest regret of his life was that what should have been the biggest day of his life was ruined because somebody had taken his head.

Posted by : judge
Date : 22/02/10
Subject : "Don't show me up woman"

Funniest story on an away day i know is when I went to palace end of season a few years ago and one of the lads used to travel with his mum and dad as well as his brother.
We stopped off at Covent garden and had a skin full ,as you do and then proceeded onto Croydon on the inner city train ,well the lads dad decided he was desperate for a slash so they took him in between the carriages (ooh-err) and surrounded him while he filled up a freezer bag full of the afternoons drinking.
Well done I thought, until he tried to empty said bag out of the train window and poured it all over himself (cue much laughter from rest of train ). The funniest bit was he took his p*ss soaked jumper off and passed it to his wife to put it in her handbag ,shocked by her refusal he uttered the immortal words "don’t show me up woman ".

Posted by : Ironbar
Date : 22/02/10
Subject : Travels with Shred

Both Goody and myself have travelled with Shred over many thousands of miles over too many years I care to mention. Shred started his expertise in transporting Blades by travelling as one of Goodison’s Gorillas travelling Inter-City Like the Men do Percil tickets and all that.
Bill Burke got a mention some posts ago but people forget about Colin BURKE RIP. The original gay Blade who worked on the railways, Colin worked out the timetables for Goody to work to. I first came across our CHIEF Shred he appeared in the film " One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest ". At a pre season friendly in Holland I seem to think Shred was about 14 at the time and his hair hasn't grown an inch since.
The guy is a legend in his own lifetime, some of the best stories must come from the old 4th Div travelling days, we had our own bus the A.I.M. true name Ale in Motion. It was a 36 seater with toilet ,card table ,sink, fridge etc and the same CREW travelling every game. Every member of the Crew brought a special package to the trips Black pudding, Wine Gums, mums home made cake ,pork pie but not forgetting the full assortment of Ales,Wines and Spirits. We had on board a plastic Firkin 9 gall barrel with the said liquid gifts put into it and an array of drinking utensils.
Needless to say the Darlington trip springs to mind, every one on the bus in fancy dress including the driver dressed as an Arab Sheik myself as the first and original Father Christmas. Forget the dozen or so at Bristol City and the many more since I made the national press doing cart wheels across the pitch prior to the game starring along with Pancho Villa,Batman & Robin and an array of very drunken Blademen stopping off at Wakefield on the way home where Robin Hood got arrested for shooting a female copper with a rubber ended arrow from his bow, while one of the lads was doing a hand stand on a bar stool naked, he still can’t perform that act sober to this day HO HAPPY DAYS.


 
And:

Posted by : Mattbianco1
Date : 19/02/10
Subject : Ice cream van

My father-in-law said he once went to Darlington and their was a car full of blades driving up the A1 and there was a 6th person on the roof holding onto the roof rack!!
Another is (can't remember who he said we were playing) they overtook an Ice Cream van on the motorway, it's chimes were playing and inside were loads of blades all eating lollys and ice creams.

Posted by : SouthEssexBlade
Date : 19/02/10
Subject : A Gentleman Blade

The Blade on the roof story is definitely correct, I was in a car overtaking it
Same journey, driving up the A1 (old man driving, me as front passenger) stuck behind a luton van/lorry. Whilst we were trying to overtake it, the back shutter went up and about 6 gorillas all with red and white scarves round necks started doing some bizarre mating jig....nearly crashed!
On arriving at Darlington, parked near the entrance to some public park. As we were loading out the car, a woman pulled up in front and got 3 or 4 yapping dogs out the back and headed off to the park entrance. Coming the other way out of the park were a group of Blades in fancy dress. One in an Elizabethan costume noticed the path into the park had a puddle on it, ran up to the woman, took off his cloak, laid it across the puddle with a flourishing bow, 'allow me, your majesty' Poor woman just scarpered!


Posted by : Silent Blade
Date : 31/12/09
Subject : Dear John

Heard two funny away days stories involving a Blade called John who now lives in Motherwell (he lived in Sheffield until the late 1970s). In April 1975 (I was at boarding school and unable to go to the game) we were due to play our last match of the season at Birmingham. We all thought that a win would clinch a place for us in the following season's UEFA Cup
John decided to drive to the match, taking his friend, Frank along. On the way John pulled up on the hard shoulder on the M1 and told Frank that he needed a wee. Frank told him that it wasn’t wise to do it on the hard shoulder and the police would charge him if they caught him. John shrugged his shoulders (Frank thinks John had been on a drinking session that afternoon) and unzipped his fly and while he was having a pee, to Frank's horror he saw a number of siren lights flashing getting nearer to the car. It was a police motorcycle convoy escorting a car that had the Queen Mother in it! The police would have seen what John was doing but had to stick to escorting the car rather than pulling over to the hard shoulder. John wasn’t aware of his lucky escape until Frank had told him
In May 1990 John drove down to Blackburn intending to watch our penultimate match of the season (we needed a win to clinch promotion to the old 1st division). On arrival (about two hours before kick off) he discovered that the match is all ticket and not having purchased a ticket he walked round Ewood Park thinking of a way to get into the ground. He then spotted an ITV camera crew about to get into the players entrance and the stewards were allowing them through so John casually followed the camera crew and the stewards thought he was part of the crew and allowed John in!
 
Latters said:
So there was no Brownieblade "advanced state of refreshment" story? I find that hard to believe.
Click to expand...

I don't think that having matured a bit, the more exciting 'ASOR' stories are suitable for public consumption any more!
 
Deleted Member said:
post: 416594, member: 875"]I don't think that having matured a bit, the more exciting 'ASOR' stories are suitable for public consumption any more!
Click to expand...

Shame mate, they were a weekly feature on the old message board. Hopefully there'll be a one off special to celebrate our promotion next week!
 
You could well be right. Back in those days every week there seemed to be another epic away day, but after a while when you've done the same ground a good half a dozen over, and seen all there is too see, then it does get a bit boring.

Having said that there have been a few epic's this season.
 
Dean Mansell said:
Hi,

A couple of years ago I posted a topic asking for funny football stories for my website (awayend). I had some great responses and stories sent in that went on the site, I am now in the process of putting a book together of all the best stories that have been sent in.

I had stories from the forum members listed below, who unfortunately I have lost contact details for. If you are one of them, could you please get in touch via this forum or the website (not added address as not sure it is allowed, but search for awayend and you will find it!) and let me know if you are happy for your story to go in the book?

Jansky
Judge
Ironbar
Mattbianco
Southessexblade

Thanks a lot and good luck at Wembley!
Click to expand...


are you after anymore?
 
davidpinder said:
are you after anymore?
Click to expand...
I've just about finished the book but the website is till going and I could do with a few new stories to add to it to be honest.
If you fancy sharing one or two, you can send them to the website or post them on here mate and i'll add them to the site of you want?
 



Dean Mansell said:
Hi,

A couple of years ago I posted a topic asking for funny football stories for my website (awayend). I had some great responses and stories sent in that went on the site, I am now in the process of putting a book together of all the best stories that have been sent in.

I had stories from the forum members listed below, who unfortunately I have lost contact details for. If you are one of them, could you please get in touch via this forum or the website (not added address as not sure it is allowed, but search for awayend and you will find it!) and let me know if you are happy for your story to go in the book?

Jansky
Judge
Ironbar
Mattbianco
Southessexblade

Thanks a lot and good luck at Wembley!
Click to expand...
Iron Bar is on Facebook I`ll tell him about this post
 
Talking of Shred. My best Shred stories comes from the pre-season tour of the South West in 2004.

I'd spent the summer of 2002 working as a waiter in the Cornish seaside resort of Looe, where i'd become friendly with a waitress in the same restaurant called Bernie, i'd got on like an house on fire with her, but apart from one pissed up fumble, it never went any furthur as she had a boyfriend at the time.

When i went on the pre-season tour in 2004, i based myself in Looe for a few days, stopping at a mates house, (well more accurately i was billeted in a tent on his back garden). I got down there on the Saturday night, went out on the piss, and i bumped in to the lovely Bernie, who seemed pleased to see, especially as she had split up with her old boyfriend and was young, free and single, and was pleased to see the handsome, intelligent, and witty Blademan she had liked a couple of years previously. She told me her night off was on the Monday and asked if i wanted to do anything, but that was the night the Blades were at Tavistock so i invited her along.

So on the Monday night we went to Tavistock, stopping off en route in Plymouth for a few drinks, and went to the match, before leaving and having a couple of drinks in Tavistock, which meant that in turn we missed the bus back to Plymouth, which meant we was on the last one back with no way of getting back to Looe that night, but i said it wasn't a problem as i would get a B and B, which she seemed keen on, as we was all over each other, and it would be the ideal opportunity to consumate our previously dangerous liason.

We got on the last bus back to Plymouth, and was sat down chewing each others faces off, when the bus stopped in the middle of nowhere to pick up some people, and it just happened to be Shred and half a dozen regulars. He spotted me straight away and came up talking to us, before inviting us out for a drink in Plymouth when we got back there. The upshot of it all was that she ended up coming out for a few beers which ended up with the session finishing at about 3am, and stumbling about trying to find a B and B in Plymouth which we did.

Whenever i see Shred now, he always asks about that bird from Cornwall and if i'm still seeing her.
 
Deleted Member said:
post: 416633, member: 875"]Talking of Shred. My best Shred stories comes from the pre-season tour of the South West in 2004.

I'd spent the summer of 2002 working as a waiter in the Cornish seaside resort of Looe, where i'd become friendly with a waitress in the same restaurant called Bernie, i'd got on like an house on fire with her, but apart from one pissed up fumble, it never went any furthur as she had a boyfriend at the time.

When i went on the pre-season tour in 2004, i based myself in Looe for a few days, stopping at a mates house, (well more accurately i was billeted in a tent on his back garden). I got down there on the Saturday night, went out on the piss, and i bumped in to the lovely Bernie, who seemed pleased to see, especially as she had split up with her old boyfriend and was young, free and single, and was pleased to see the handsome, intelligent, and witty Blademan she had liked a couple of years previously. She told me her night off was on the Monday and asked if i wanted to do anything, but that was the night the Blades were at Tavistock so i invited her along.

So on the Monday night we went to Tavistock, stopping off en route in Plymouth for a few drinks, and went to the match, before leaving and having a couple of drinks in Tavistock, which meant that in turn we missed the bus back to Plymouth, which meant we was on the last one back with no way of getting back to Looe that night, but i said it wasn't a problem as i would get a B and B, which she seemed keen on, as we was all over each other, and it would be the ideal opportunity to consumate our previously dangerous liason.

We got on the last bus back to Plymouth, and was sat down chewing each others faces off, when the bus stopped in the middle of nowhere to pick up some people, and it just happened to be Shred and half a dozen regulars. He spotted me straight away and came up talking to us, before inviting us out for a drink in Plymouth when we got back there. The upshot of it all was that she ended up coming out for a few beers which ended up with the session finishing at about 3am, and stumbling about trying to find a B and B in Plymouth which we did.

Whenever i see Shred now, he always asks about that bird from Cornwall and if i'm still seeing her.
Click to expand...
That's shit brownie no wonder you're not in the book
 
Any older Blades remember a trip to Scunthorpe in the 80s? Stood on the away end, saw the BBC wade in on the home end, only to be sent scuttling by a lone fat lass beating the shit out of a couple of 'em? :D
 
Brownie, so you met a girl, took her to a match, kissed her on a bus and went out drinking with her?
How much are you selling the movie rights for?
 
kingston RAWW said:
Brownie, so you met a girl, took her to a match, kissed her on a bus and went out drinking with her?
How much are you selling the movie rights for?
Click to expand...

Name your price.

I've had 17 years of following the Blades on away days to different far flung locations up and down the land, been to 90 different league grounds (70 current grounds, some old grounds, some not in the league any more), been on pre-season non league tours, met some brilliant people, drank a vast ocean of beer, and had some top, top laugh long the way, and got some memories that will last a lifetime. I would write a book but some of the stories i couldn't ever do justice, and others wouldn't be suitable for public consumption.

Chapter 1 would have to be Portsmouth Away 94/95 season, and going on the session with AdelaideBlade and an assorted crew of Matelot's, and having to be smuggled out of a Southsea pub because the bouncer wanted to kick my head in, i was only 17!
 
One thing that always gets me is any football film at the cinema is always centred around hooliganism, which isn't what it's all about for me and gives a negative impression of football fans in general.

For me it is all about a sense of mateship, going somewhere for a day out and having a good day on the beer, having a good laugh and making the most of it. It just seems to me that when it comes to fan culture it doesn't sell unless It has an excessive sprinkling of violence with it.
 
Deleted Member said:
post: 422172, member: 875"]

For me it is all about a sense of mateship, going somewhere for a day out and having a good day on the beer, having a good laugh and making the most of it.
Click to expand...

That's what a good away day is all about. The rest often doesn't matter - I've had some top away trips when we've lost, and some forgettable ones when we've won. It's about the rest of it, as Brownie says. Trips away, beer and fun. Fighting? Sod that macho shit.
 



You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

R
Burrows/Peck
Replies
16
Views
2K
CarlMcBlade
CarlMcBlade
Cappy
'Memries' 2025 Big Ones
Replies
15
Views
943
dexter101
D
LBA_Blade
Sam Aston Guiseley Loan
Replies
3
Views
623
LBA_Blade
LBA_Blade
B
Wow
Replies
3
Views
810
BadgersBigToe
BadgersBigToe
Bennyand the Blades
Away the lads.
Replies
5
Views
1K
Houston_Blade
Houston_Blade

All advertisments are hidden for logged in members, why not log in/register?

All advertisments are hidden for logged in members, why not log in/register?

Back
Top Bottom