Henderson? He might be the answer, if the question is "Name a big galumphing buffoon who managed an equal goals to cards tally last season. And he's called Darius, for fuck's sake."
Last season, Henderson played a grand total of 8 games and scored 2 goals. He also managed two cards - one yellow and one red. 21 players managed more appearances than our Darius. The season before he made 30 starts and 5 substitute appearances and scored 12 goals, second to Cresswell's tally of 14, with the only appearance difference being one more sub appearance on Darius's chart. Henderson was however top of the baddie list again, with a total of 95 fouls against, 6 yellows and 1 red. Four more players got more yellow cards, but Henderson had the only red of the season, and he committed most fouls, which for a striker is ridiculous.
In the 08/09 season he was similarly the player to have committed the most fouls, and he got two reds, 40% of the total for the season for the squad. He committed 90 fouls from his total of 29 starts and 7 excursions from the bench. Chris Morgan, harder than diamond and tougher than my mother-in-law's Sunday roast, from 46 starts and one sub appearance made 63 fouls. And he's a defender. They're supposed to make the odd foul.
You can't even judge Henderson on the number of assists he managed - in the 09/10 season he made a grand total of one assist. One. Toni Kallio made twice that, and I thought he was an ice-cream man from Rotherham. One assist all season. Glen Little, a pensioner now working as the Gruffalo's stunt double, made five. Monty made three times the number of assists. Monty! Incidentally, Porter has made three assists this season.
He was much more sinner than sinned against. Do we miss him? No. He's not complete rubbish, but he's a liability. He committed too many fouls, got too many cards, and didn't score enough goals. Porter might not be the answer - he's had 15 starts and 9 sub appearances, for 6 goals with 21 fouls and 2 yellows, but he doesn't have the ability Henderson has of making referees wave cards around like a mad magician.
All the stats above are from the OS. Except the one about Glen Little's new job.
