What's your dullest anecdote about meeting a footballer?

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I saw James Beattie waiting to go into a Lancashire Referees society annual meeting about 5 years ago. I said "I'm still having nightmares about your miss at Milton Keynes". He sheepishly said "Yeah, we should have won that day".

My brother went to an under 19 game in Belgium last night and spoke to the coach there Axel Smeets.
 
Opened the door for Jurgen Klinsmann as we passed each other at the angling shop in Aston .

I was coming out he was coming in

He just said danke (well that’s what it sounded like ) . He tripped over a tackle box and landed flat on his face in isle three - which is directly in front of you as you come through the door .

Good looking guy to be fair
 
Went to Broomhill Friery and stood in there waiting was Kevin Davies. Didn't say a word, waited my turn and left.

He ordered 3 portions of fish n chips.

Fat cunt.

Also, Wayne Quinn and Curtis Woodhouse in South Seas sat at the bar, ordered a drink, said "hi" and went off to play pool with my mates.

Not mundane... working players lounge at Bolton, Rod Wallace ordering drinks with his pal post game handing over 50 quid notes and telling me to keep the change every other round. Top lad.
 
broomhillblade said:
I once nearly ran down a guy in the car park of the Impala Club, Nairobi. Turned out to be Jonah Barrington, the squash champion. He was out in Nairobi getting some high altitude training. It was dark but fortunately I braked just in time; otherwise I might have ended his career.
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What a player he was and pivotal in making the game popular in the 60s and 70s, he’s still going strong at 80. I only know that because Trig Jnr (TY) played in the same team in Brum as his son Joey, when they were both on the pro circuit a while back and they’re still in touch.

Well done for not running Jonah over, the squash world thanks you 🙂
 
I do have a lot of very banal anecdotes about current and ex-Blades players that I won't bore people with.

My favourite one was that me and my son saw Teddy Sheringham at a waterpark on holiday last October, I said a polite "Hello" and got one back, my son shouted "that's the tree from Masked Singer", Sheringham burst out laughing and said he's glad that's what he's known for to the younger generation and we both chuckled as we walked off.
 
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Champagneblade said:
Should have gone "Uvavu" and you'd have been in there!
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There were two phrases, and I could only think of 'Iranu'.

Summat tells me that even if I'd have uttered 'Uvavu', the road to her silken (but well-trodden) valley of wonder would have still been shut permanently to cheap, wide vehicles.

That, and she'd had four kids fired out of it, by four (count 'em) different dads.

No stranger to the workings of weaponry, that lass. In her youth she was a sparkling work of fucking beauty, but a bit like many of the nineties babes - Denise Van Outen being one other - the hard yards carrying jizz from the counterpane to the shithouse upside the old birth canal hasn't been kind to their constitution.

Melanie Sykes however seems to have largely escaped the ravages of cock jousting. I'd like to see what happened to Dani Behr too.

pommpey
 
derekacorah said:
I do have a lot of very banal anecdotes about current and ex-Blades players that I won't bore people with.

My favourite one was that me and my son saw Teddy Sheringham at a waterpark on holiday last October, I said a polite "Hello" and got one back, my son shouted "that's the tree from Masked Singer", Sheringham burst out laughing and said he's glad that's what he's known for to the younger generation and we both chuckled as we walked off.
Click to expand...
Come on Del. Dont be shy tell us more love these stories.
 
pommpey said:
There were two phrases, and I could only think of 'Iranu'.

Summat tells me that even if I'd have uttered 'Uvavu', the road to her silken (but well-trodden) valley of wonder would have still been shut permanently to cheap, wide vehicles.

That, and she'd had four kids fired out of it, by four (count 'em) different dads.

No stranger to the workings of weaponry, that lass. In her youth she was a sparkling work of fucking beauty, but a bit like many of the nineties babes - Denise Van Outen being one other - the hard yards carrying jizz from the counterpane to the shithouse upside the old birth canal hasn't been kind to their constitution.

Melanie Sykes however seems to have largely escaped the ravages of cock jousting. I'd like to see what happened to Dani Behr too.

pommpey
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Always used to get Melanie Sykes a bit confused with Jenny Powell, who also seems to have aged well.

Dani Behr seemed to havea permanent sneer on her face. Then again she was having to tolerate Terry Christian as an ongoing assignment!
 

Blade.com said:
Come on Del. Dont be shy tell us more love these stories.
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All proper boring I assure you:

My lad used to play football with Jake Wright's son so I know him conversationally. I've also been in his house for a drink (legally I must add 😂 ).

I played around 10 games at centre half with Carl Bradshaw for Buxton in around 2001/2. He was my hero as a kid and a prick when I played with him. Don't meet your heroes!

I regularly see Billy Sharp at my son's football and he's good at small talk with Blades fans and really good with the kids, regularly helps out with coaching.

Stephen Quinn is another I've seen at kids football matches and he was good with encouraging the players on the 2 or 3 times we've played against his son's team and had a short chat at the end of one of the games with him.

I once took my car to be serviced and Mitch Ward was in there at the same time, he was a bit of a dick.

Like most Blades at away games over the years, I've bought Dane Whitehouse a pint.

I know Danny Wilson and Frank Barlow as I played football with both of their sons. Both are really nice blokes and used to do training sessions for us when we played junior football.

I entered a 5 a side team in a local league and used to regularly field Nicky Law when he was at the Blades as a 16/17 year old. He's in the USA now and loving life. He used to get me free tickets when we were in the PL under Warnock.

Slightly tenuous one, I pulled a bird from Handsworth on holiday in Greece many moons ago and it turned out she was Lee Bromby's girlfriend, her best mate was Geary's Mrs as well at the time. I didn't feel guilty and also met her a couple of times post-holiday while her and Bromby were still an item :p She was a bit mental though so I knocked it on the head after that.

I played for Alfreton U18's a few times and Wilder was the 1st team manager, he came in the changing rooms and told us all to "play well" once. My perception of him and his cronies at the time were that they were all pricks who made shit nicknames for people even if they didn't work 😂

Pig ones:

I played against Chris Waddle when he was probably 40 years old and he took the piss out of me. I'd have been 16/17 at the time.

I played against Jamie Vardy and I'd like to think my shit marking and his 3 goals gave him the confidence to become the player he now is!

I nearly hit Carlton Palmer with a golf ball and shouted "that's for 1993 Carlton". He just smiled and walked off.

Hirst and Palmer walked past when I was queuing for a nightclub around 20 years ago, they went to the front of the queue and used the "do you know who I am?" line. The bouncer was a Blade and a mate of mine and he said "yes I do, now get to the back of the queue". 😂
 
Bell4 said:
Opened the door for Jurgen Klinsmann as we passed each other at the angling shop in Aston .

I was coming out he was coming in

He just said danke (well that’s what it sounded like ) . He tripped over a tackle box and landed flat on his face in isle three - which is directly in front of you as you come through the door .

Good looking guy to be fair
Click to expand...

Up and till he smashed his face in or still afterwards?
 
Trigger Blade said:
What a player he was and pivotal in making the game popular in the 60s and 70s, he’s still going strong at 80. I only know that because Trig Jnr (TY) played in the same team in Brum as his son Joey, when they were both on the pro circuit a while back and they’re still in touch.

Well done for not running Jonah over, the squash world thanks you 🙂
Click to expand...
I was no good at squash but was able to watch Jonah going through has practice routines. Awesome.
 
Champagneblade said:
Always used to get Melanie Sykes a bit confused with Jenny Powell, who also seems to have aged well.

Dani Behr seemed to havea permanent sneer on her face. Then again she was having to tolerate Terry Christian as an ongoing assignment!
Click to expand...

Melanie Sykes is top end aged female. Still pretty and charismatic and someone you'd be fucking pleased to be stepping out with and knowing later on you'd be spuds deep into.

Jenny Powell is similarly gifted in the ageing well department and another one who you'd be hard pushed to kick out of bed because she'd pumped.

Dani Behr was indeed vastly self-aware that many men were waxing their canoes over her. From that period however, I'd have gladly given an undercoat to Katie Puckrick, based upon comments she made in Loaded once about her preferring three minutes of stolen filth in a cupboard over eight hours of slow bump and grind. That appealed to me. I couldn't imagine Dani Behr going back serving fish and chips to customers with jizz running down her leg into her shoe and the stench of cock still in her beard.

pommpey
 
Not me, but my twin brother (no, really). I was there and witnessed it though..

Day of the Norwich game when the Kop's roof had been removed. We were hanging around the player's entrance and Tony Agana walked past. My brother shouts out "Bang us a couple in today Tony!".. He just turned around with a massive grin on his face. Anyway, he scored 2 and we won and my brother was convinced he'd only scored because he'd said that.

However, a couple of years ago, we were in Kettle Black. Duffy and Leon Clarke were in and my brother was pissed. I had to go over and remove my brother and apologise profusely...

For me... Asking Paul Stancliffe which players were from Sheffield when getting his autograph at a Junior Blades Christmas party, is a highlight..

Becoming Graham Anthony's new BFF in Europa night club on a random Tuesday night. The reserves had beaten the first team in a friendly that day and the first team had to take them out. Dave Holdsworth was amazing and I ended up with the team all night. Didn't spend a penny either. Paul Parker - massive cunt.

On holiday in Cyprus not long after the play-off final defeat to Burnley. First morning walk down to the pool in my Blades shirt and my mate points out that Craig Beattie was sat the other side of the pool. I just looked over, made eye contact with Beattie and just shook my head. He was with his young family, otherwise I may have said something (and promptly get my head smashed in...)

Met Dion Dublin in a hotel reception in Manchester. He was a lovely bloke. Stood chatting for 5-10 minutes.

When I was much younger, was upstairs in the McDonalds on the moor. In there with his kids was Martin Hodge. Not long after he'd conceded 5 a couple of times. (What's Martin Hodge's favourite colour? Indigo...). My parents told us not to bother him as he was a normal bloke with his kids.

Finally, Paulo Di Canio in the Republic night club not long after he signed for them. He was very approachable. Seemed like a nice bloke (apart from being a facist). Told him he should have signed for us. He just nodded his head...
 
pommpey said:
I couldn't imagine Dani Behr going back serving fish and chips to customers with jizz running down her leg into her shoe and the stench of cock still in her beard.
Click to expand...

Tea all over the keyboard moment.

That Creative Writing night school course really is reaping dividends.
 
Forgot one... Stephen Quinn. Played cricket with his Mrs' brother. And he came to our presentation night and ended up giving out the trophies. Just so happened I'd won the bowling award and the Player's Player of the year award. As I received the PPOTY, he said "this is the one you want to win... means the most". I just smiled as I'd rigged the vote.
 
pommpey said:
Melanie Sykes is top end aged female. Still pretty and charismatic and someone you'd be fucking pleased to be stepping out with and knowing later on you'd be spuds deep into.

Jenny Powell is similarly gifted in the ageing well department and another one who you'd be hard pushed to kick out of bed because she'd pumped.

Dani Behr was indeed vastly self-aware that many men were waxing their canoes over her. From that period however, I'd have gladly given an undercoat to Katie Puckrick, based upon comments she made in Loaded once about her preferring three minutes of stolen filth in a cupboard over eight hours of slow bump and grind. That appealed to me. I couldn't imagine Dani Behr going back serving fish and chips to customers with jizz running down her leg into her shoe and the stench of cock still in her beard.

pommpey
Click to expand...
You should write poetry pommps! 🤣
 
Me and my mate spotted Nick Montgomery in a bar/club in Leeds (possibly called Living Room but definitely named after an area within an abode). Plucked up the courage to strike up the conversation with an unintentionally aggressive "Are you Nick Montgomery?" whilst hovering over him whilst he occupied a footstool. He sheepishly said "Yes". We observed he was drinking orange juice and congratulated him on his professionalism, gave him a little pep talk and left him alone. His form took a curve upwards after that and ever since I have used this example when applying for jobs in football management.
 
Gaini Blade said:
Up and till he smashed his face in or still afterwards?
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Now, here's the thing...

He didn't injure himself at all. in hindsight he resembled a swan, glide landing on a lake , he landed on his full frontal but with his arms out and his head help above ground level. I recall him shouting (as he was falling) shopkeeper - shopkeeper , das was ein push ,ein push - obviously trying to deflect the blame onto me and away from his own clumsiness .

I didn't wait to see the outcome as i legged it (where there's a blame there's a claim and all that)

However , i did pass the Spurs team coach in the car park (they were on the way to play the Pigs) and Gary Maddock said to me , and ill never forget to this day and i will always thank him for these comforting words , don't worry mate , he did the same thing in Tom Marshes yesterday.

I managed to put it all behind me until i saw this thread
 
I was driving the car at Heeley bottom and a car was tailgating me, naturally I slowed down even more to piss the cunt off and then as the car went round me, the driver wound the window down and shouted "move, fat bastard!" - it was Charlie Hartfield.

I wasn't even fat at the time.
 

JohnGannonsPerm said:
Me and my mate spotted Nick Montgomery in a bar/club in Leeds (possibly called Living Room but definitely named after an area within an abode). Plucked up the courage to strike up the conversation with an unintentionally aggressive "Are you Nick Montgomery?" whilst hovering over him whilst he occupied a footstool. He sheepishly said "Yes". We observed he was drinking orange juice and congratulated him on his professionalism, gave him a little pep talk and left him alone. His form took a curve upwards after that and ever since I have used this example when applying for jobs in football management.
Click to expand...
The Wardrobe?
 
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