What's your dullest anecdote about meeting a footballer?

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13 year old me playing snooker at Butlins in Wales (Pwllheli ??). Me & my brother are on a black ball game & I’m lining up my shot when in walks Terry Griffiths who had recently won the world title. He’s there to play an exhibition match against the silver fox David Taylor.
Any road, he stops right behind me to watch me take my shot with everyone else in the snooker hall watching on. I almost shat myself with nerves before producing the worst miscue ever & almost ripped the cloth. He just walked off laughing as I tried in vain to hide behind a fuckin snooker cue.
Anyway, David Taylor won that night so the last laugh was on you Griffiths you slow-timing, boring twat.
 

The Capital One was peeling off my shirt a week after I got it and me and my mate went down to the shop to replace it. The lass actually said "oh we can just put another one on there" so I said fair enough. While it was being done Captain Morgs popped his head out the door behind the counter and said "you got that shirt?" To the lass behind counter

She passed it him and one of us went "Hey Morgan!" And he said "hiya"

True story
 
I've met several of our players over the years but guessing at the 25th anniversary of the 1990 promotion doesn't count! Outside of that I met Tony Agana once at a school he was teaching at, in his capacity as an I.T guy/consultant etc, and I couldn't believe it was him! I virtually ran up to him and said "Tony Agana"?! He smiled and said "yes" I didn't know what to say other as I was star struck so I just said "blades legend and thanks for the goal at Leicester"! After I thought that about the others goals! Seemed a really nice guy!

I also met Brian Deane by fluke a few months after he had left us for Benfica. I was walking alongside Deano at the train station but was just too nervous to say anything. I saw him a minute or so later in the passenger seat of a car so I went up to the car at the lights and I think knocked on the window with a thumbs up. I seem to recall he just looked at me like what's this guy want/doing and then the car drove off! I've never got over that to be honest!
 
YorkBlade said:
Need more on this!

This reminds me of another...I was on holiday in Mallorca. I was walking along the beach front on the Pine Walk in the Port of Pollensa when I saw Chris Morgan at a pizza restaurant with his family.

"Chris!" I said
"On holiday in Mallorca with your family?"

"Yeah" he responded.
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Came in with the whole family to a restaurant I used to work in, was happy to say hi, have a chat and say thanks for the meal, really sound bloke. Parry spent a fortune and if I remember correctly Morgs had a scallops starter and a roast sirloin dinner, because real men don't eat fucking turkey.
 
Nah den said:
A few years back Che Adams sat next to me on a train in Manchester heading back to Sheffield at evening rush hour. It was during an international break and he was in some Blades training gear. Always wondered what the story was there. Didn't like to bother him though.
Once saw Brian Gayle (during his playing days) buying 4 Stella and 20 Silk Cut from the Spar that was at the bottom of Bushey Wood Road.
More recently stood behind Carl Asaba in the Co-op I Dore. Didn't speak to him.
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Amazing - we’ve both had the same dull encounter (I wonder if we know each other??). I too met Brian Gayle in the spa on Busywood Rd when he was buying a 4 pack of Stella. I was with a mate & he asked us where we were going, to which we replied “a party”, to which he responded “can I come?” Wasn’t sure whether he was joking. Anyway… he didn’t come to the party. He was obviously joking. I remember being mesmerised by his steel blue eyes……
On another (equally dull) occasion I was walking down Eccy Rd with my lass at the time (not a looker tbh) & made eye contact with Gary Speed, Beattie & (a very young) Billy who were sat outside a cafe/bistro. They all looked miserable as fuck & I had the uncomfortable feeling that they were
Judging the quality of the lass I was with.
 
I met Billy in Costa, felt starstruck but wanted to say something, so searched the depths of my brain, and came up with...."what are you up to the next few days?".....it was a few days before Christmas 😫🤣😅 turns out he celebrates with family..... 🤣🤣😅
 
I can always remember seeing Alex Sabella up an oak tree in Graves Park shaking the branches violently. There were lots of local children under the tree very animated and shouting and pointing at a near by conker tree. I thought to myself "if only these poor kids could speak Spanish". No need to worry though, as it turned out to be the local Meersbrook nutcase up the tree who was identical to Alex.
 
Heely bottoms underpants said:
I can always remember seeing Alex Sabella up an oak tree in Graves Park shaking the branches violently. There were lots of local children under the tree very animated and shouting and pointing at a near by conker tree. I thought to myself "if only these poor kids could speak Spanish". No need to worry though, as it turned out to be the local Meersbrook nutcase up the tree who was identical to Alex.
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That reads like a letter in Viz mate :)

pommpey
 
I used to work in an NHS physio clinic off Archer Road, minding my own business one day when who should wander in but non-other than 90s speed merchant Adrian Littlejohn. He was training to become a physio and was shadowing a senior physio there. He seemed reight enough. I said hi, he responded similarly, but I really wanted to ask him about that fastest player contest they had. Shame.
 
Saw Paul Coutts with his wife and 2 (toddler age) kids in the M&S food hall on Eccy Rd, so decided to follow him & buy exactly the same food as he did.

On arriving back home the missus was surprised to see a pack of nappies & jars of baby food amongst our weekly groceries - especially given that both our children were in their 20’s and no longer lived at home.
 
Sheffsteel said:
My girlfriend was in Josephine’s nightclub in the early- mid 90’s. She has zero interest in football but saw Carlton Palmer in the little VIP bar with loads of young glamour women/ model types.

She said she felt embarrassed for Palmer as he was so arrogant thinking he was something special and better than more normal people around him. His body language and behaviour showed an ugly, not nice person.

30 years later whenever CP comes up in conversation she still mentions her experience and STILL doesn’t like him.
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can attest to the fact the blokes a full weight cunt of the highest order
 

I once faced a penalty from Rotherham winger Shane Ferguson in Malia when he was at Newcastle after drunkenly betting him €50 I’d save it.

He nonchalantly banged it in the top corner before I’d even moved and I ended up €50 lighter and looking a complete tit in front of my mates.
 
My cousin (a Wednesday fan) and I walked into Hillsborough pre season around 1983 (I was about 7). The Physio Alan Smith came off the pitch and walked towards us. “Looking forward to the new Season?” he asked. To which I replied “Wednesday are shit, I support United”. To be fair to Alan, he cracked out laughing but my cousin was embarrassed to say the least.
 
YorkBlade said:
I once met Jon-Paul McGovern at a BP garage. I stupidly asked what he was doing.

He said 'just getting petrol'.
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Broke my leg for the 2nd time in a year playing football as a 13 year old. Obviously down in the dumps so my Dad's mate arranged for me to have a personal tour behind the scenes at the Lane with George Mcabe. Hobbling round on crutches and a full leg plaster on, we bumped in to Ian Porterfield. "Oh dear wee laddi, what you been doing?" he said. "Broc mi leg Mr Porterfield" I said. "Oh no, where about's?" he said. "Graves park Mr Porterfield" was my reply. Mi fatha's never let me forget it!!
 
In the first championship season under wilder me and my mate split from the rest of the group and headed to bierkeller on west street, particularly rammed we found just enough room to squeeze onto one of the benches and stood opposite us in his best peaky blinders outfit was Matt Prestridge with his family/mates, all a few shandies in. Being the bright spark I am, having just said to my mate ‘that’s Matt prestridge’ I asked Matt prestridge - are you Matt prestridge? To which he nodded and looked quite chuffed that someone recognised him, his response was to point at each of us individually and say, beer-beer - disappeared and came back with a frogenstein for us each. Top bloke. Following that about 5 minutes later big Brenda on the table behind absolutely wiped him out as she fell over.

I’ve also had the privilege of working in jake wright snr’s house - top bloke and I wish I’d had the opportunity to chat more as he was perfectly happy to, I do distinctly remember seeing a canvas ready to be hung up of him bollocking an opposition attacker who must’ve fallen down rather easily. I’ll try and find that image now on Google.

Edit: found it
 

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Blade.com said:
4 words got my attention straight away ; Charismatic, Buxom MILFY and Teacher. We had a Dance teacher and to this day I have never seen anyone with Bazookas as big as hers, they where that big she could get 3 kids sheltered under them from the rain.
12 year old kids paradise. We use to prey for rain every lesson.
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Yeah. Mrs Russell had a certain supernatural, gravitational charm on us developing adolescents. Call it tits, call it sexuality, call it us pumped full of testosterone and Refreshers bars. In our minds she was utter, depraved, wanton filth. Someone who was one day gonna corner us in the stock room and commit acts so vulgar, profane and degraded that to list them would be a major criminal offence. Every time a news article rarely happens by with the unfortunate event of an older female teacher busted schooling a male adolescent student, my mind happens over how the flying fuck that got out, because if in the layered universe of fantasy had it that I was being pumped dry by Mrs R, I'd go to my fucking grave with it. With a smile.

And she knew this, of course. The power of a woman. Verily, it had me dancing like a fucking pansy in Hillsborough Park aged 15 dressed like a fucking cunt.

pommpey
 
Saw Warnock in the club shop the day before that fucking god awful Wigan game that saw us relegated. He was strutting around like a peacock and made eye contact with me and the Mrs. 'I suppose you want a photo with me', the shrinking violet said. 'Get fucked, I can't fucking stand you' was my witty reposte. Off he scuttled and we went to The Railway for a pint.
 
pommpey said:
Palmer did look a bit freakshow, didn't he? Like one of those cruel examples of human degradation carted about and displayed by heartless circus magnates for Victorian women to shriek and faint at.

For sixpence.

pommpey
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Maybe that's why they didn't let him in to play golf!
 

pommpey said:
I was on a leisure cruise on the Thames a few years ago. Bit of a busman's holiday for a salty old cunt like me.

Anyrooerd, we tied up at Henley to get the shit tank pumped out and there, walking her kids and enjoying the sunshine was Ulrika Johnsson. She looked gravitationally dangerous and I felt this strange magnetism. Something really made me want to mate with her, even though she looked a bit rinsed out and her neck looked like my scrotum on a warm day. With blonde hair and teeth.

As we passed, I smiled and said 'Iranu!' and she smiled weakly back, as if to say, 'Go fuck yourself, fat cunt', which I perfectly understand. She's not exactly gonna lower her standards to let some random tubby old sailor have a go on her tumpsy, especially when she has shipped a fair amount of celebrity beefstock up there.

The football connection is that Stan Collymore gave her a right old kicking and she reversed herself onto the England manager's knob for a while.

pommpey
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Should have gone "Uvavu" and you'd have been in there!
 
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