My take ...

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pommpey

THE FUTURE ... AS IT USED TO BE
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That looked painful and hard work to play. Fuck me it was painful and hard work to watch.

I've seen a few optimistic souls around the bazars spouting stuff which suggests we'll simply drop, have a rest, sign a few players and wipe next year's Championship on our snippet valve with aplomb. The hopefully brief sojourn in the league below will be a festival of us vanquishing oppositions and running outright winners, maybe ... runners up ... or some pessimists even say playoffs.

Hope tonight shines a light on exactly how dismal we have become. Okay, first things first ... a win is a win and we're in the QF. But most of the easy opposition out (and all our three victories in this tournamnet have been against lower league sides who gave more than a good account of themselves to make our victories look somewhat narrower than they were) we're gonna face a PL side next, possibly away. Unless it's Man U, and they play like fucking jellyfish like they did a fortnight ago, we're out of this jambouree, possibly by more goals than we wish for. To struggle to make much of a dent on a mid-Championship Bristol City and rely on VAR to rescue us again is damning evidence of Wilder's gathering incapability to craft a system to do even the basics, press, tackle, pass accurately and most of all, crack the ball effectively on target. Front to back we were as good as matched tonight. They reminded me of us in many phases of play. They looked like they didn't have a system to play to. They were sloppy, naive and unskilled, but fuck me they decided for all that, they were gonna give us a game. Despite having all the possession for long periods, we had four different systems and none of them worked. Some individuals decided fuck this' and played their own game and that shone ... but others look done for their brief period in the blinding lights of the big time because even out of that spotlight, their output is still dismally crap.

At 3-4-3 we couldn't get passing systems together, and that morphed into 5-2-1-2 as they pressed, after our initial failures to build play. We escaped punishment from that early crack on goal thanks to Ampadu and maybe deserved some luck with Lowe's effort which kissed the top of the crossbar. But every other foray ends up nowhere. Pass-pass-pass-backwards-this-way-that-way. When exactly is a good time to make the run and get the shot on target? Oh, 'on target', that one. Over the past few matches we have had some shots, from distance, on target. Almost all have ended up tamely down the keeper's throat or bouncing off the plastic seats. What the fuck is this, from Premier League players? Then it was 3-4-1-2 (and variants) where the midfield (loosely formed and all over the shop) comprised Bogle and Lowe out wide with Fleck and Lunny inside, but again, never imposing. Their central three were winning the battle. We did press on in the second half (despite an early scare) but initially it was fruitless. We were still dicking about blocked in on each flank and even when we did break and threaten, that ball across the box evaded both Sharp and Brewster. It was all huuf and puff but not even the straw house would come down. Finally we get the break and yes, it was a penalty and a red card. I felt a bit ashamed when it was given, to be honest, but relieved when Sharp slammed it in. Then Wilder, in his wisdom, drags Sharp off (is he starting vs WHU?) and sticks Norwood on and we go back to the last fifteen minutes in 5-3-2 and endless, pointless Wilderball. We looked less likely to hang onto the lead versus ten men, to be honest. Norwood, who'd come on for Sharp almost as if Wilder was making a point made the point for him that even against 10 men and a league below, he is fragile as fuck, and gave away the obligatory last minute free kick that had it not been a lofted punt into Ramsdale's arms, could have done the Brighton trick and done us right up the shitter.

Finally, we got the win, only just.

Ramsdale 6/10: Not a lot to do, testimony to BCFCs redundant lone striker. Fucking crap shot stopping that could have gifted them a goal as he pushed a shot out into the field of play once again
Basham 6/10: Better in the second half when in a settled, known formation
Egan 6.5/10: had their big centre forward to deal with and dealt with him well. Stood his ground and put in some decent interventions
Ampadu 7/10: Looks like he's putting the effort in now the management has changed at Stamford Bridge and it being unlikely Chelsea will want anything from him if he's part of a relegated side
Bogle 7.5/10: Growing into the role a lot and to me, more a challenge for Lundstram in right midfield than Baldock as RB/RWB. Some night touches and runs and efforts on goal
Lundstram 5/10: Pretty ineffective and umimpressive in most positions tonight. Garbage shots on goal.
Fleck 4.5/10: Thought he looked back to his 'back injury' self tonight. Game position and perception and ball distribution poor. Looked leaden, again.
Lowe 6/10: Whilst he is not exactly PL standard, he spent much of the scond half on the far touchline with his arm up and no one taking advantage of his position, even Norwood.
McGoldrick 8/10: He seems to be the only player we have who can win a ball, keep it and move with it. Good effort denied by the handball
Sharp 6/10: Usual graft from Billy all for not much, because he was denied service. Well struck penalty.
Brewster 3/10: No more 'poor kid'. I am convinced he is not good enough for adult football. He may have got a hatful last season and we may have spunked a load of cash on him but at the moment he's just chasing possession and never in a position to make any effect whatsoever. I'd like to see the scout who recommended and persuaded Wilder to sign him. Scoring goals in the Championship isn't the whole story. There has to be other aspects - such as what Watkins and Bamford possess, which makes up for what appears to be wholesale naivety and almost childlike petulance.

Norwood 3/10; Outmuscled, clumsy and positionally crap, once again. Zero effect from the bench.
Burke 4/10: Usual 'running around a lot' but you know he's not gonna score

Mousset 8/10: Made an appearance on the bench, but pulled up injured when he stood up to go and get changed at the final whistle. #bladestwitter say he's out for ten weeks with a broken testicle

Wilder 5/10: For getting us to the QF. Loses five marks from ten for doing it so lumpenly and gracelessly.

The commentators discussing the 74-75 team and the lino's gloves spelled out what a slightly embarrassing borefest it was.

Ho Hum. Bring on the fackin' cockney caaaaaaaaaaaahnts.

pommpey
 

That looked painful and hard work to play. Fuck me it was painful and hard work to watch.

I've seen a few optimistic souls around the bazars spouting stuff which suggests we'll simply drop, have a rest, sign a few players and wipe next year's Championship on our snippet valve with aplomb. The hopefully brief sojourn in the league below will be a festival of us vanquishing oppositions and running outright winners, maybe ... runners up ... or some pessimists even say playoffs.

Hope tonight shines a light on exactly how dismal we have become. Okay, first things first ... a win is a win and we're in the QF. But most of the easy opposition out (and all our three victories in this tournamnet have been against lower league sides who gave more than a good account of themselves to make our victories look somewhat narrower than they were) we're gonna face a PL side next, possibly away. Unless it's Man U, and they play like fucking jellyfish like they did a fortnight ago, we're out of this jambouree, possibly by more goals than we wish for. To struggle to make much of a dent on a mid-Championship Bristol City and rely on VAR to rescue us again is damning evidence of Wilder's gathering incapability to craft a system to do even the basics, press, tackle, pass accurately and most of all, crack the ball effectively on target. Front to back we were as good as matched tonight. They reminded me of us in many phases of play. They looked like they didn't have a system to play to. They were sloppy, naive and unskilled, but fuck me they decided for all that, they were gonna give us a game. Despite having all the possession for long periods, we had four different systems and none of them worked. Some individuals decided fuck this' and played their own game and that shone ... but others look done for their brief period in the blinding lights of the big time because even out of that spotlight, their output is still dismally crap.

At 3-4-3 we couldn't get passing systems together, and that morphed into 5-2-1-2 as they pressed, after our initial failures to build play. We escaped punishment from that early crack on goal thanks to Ampadu and maybe deserved some luck with Lowe's effort which kissed the top of the crossbar. But every other foray ends up nowhere. Pass-pass-pass-backwards-this-way-that-way. When exactly is a good time to make the run and get the shot on target? Oh, 'on target', that one. Over the past few matches we have had some shots, from distance, on target. Almost all have ended up tamely down the keeper's throat or bouncing off the plastic seats. What the fuck is this, from Premier League players? Then it was 3-4-1-2 (and variants) where the midfield (loosely formed and all over the shop) comprised Bogle and Lowe out wide with Fleck and Lunny inside, but again, never imposing. Their central three were winning the battle. We did press on in the second half (despite an early scare) but initially it was fruitless. We were still dicking about blocked in on each flank and even when we did break and threaten, that ball across the box evaded both Sharp and Brewster. It was all huuf and puff but not even the straw house would come down. Finally we get the break and yes, it was a penalty and a red card. I felt a bit ashamed when it was given, to be honest, but relieved when Sharp slammed it in. Then Wilder, in his wisdom, drags Sharp off (is he starting vs WHU?) and sticks Norwood on and we go back to the last fifteen minutes in 5-3-2 and endless, pointless Wilderball. We looked less likely to hang onto the lead versus ten men, to be honest. Norwood, who'd come on for Sharp almost as if Wilder was making a point made the point for him that even against 10 men and a league below, he is fragile as fuck, and gave away the obligatory last minute free kick that had it not been a lofted punt into Ramsdale's arms, could have done the Brighton trick and done us right up the shitter.

Finally, we got the win, only just.

Ramsdale 6/10: Not a lot to do, testimony to BCFCs redundant lone striker. Fucking crap shot stopping that could have gifted them a goal as he pushed a shot out into the field of play once again
Basham 6/10: Better in the second half when in a settled, known formation
Egan 6.5/10: had their big centre forward to deal with and dealt with him well. Stood his ground and put in some decent interventions
Ampadu 7/10: Looks like he's putting the effort in now the management has changed at Stamford Bridge and it being unlikely Chelsea will want anything from him if he's part of a relegated side
Bogle 7.5/10: Growing into the role a lot and to me, more a challenge for Lundstram in right midfield than Baldock as RB/RWB. Some night touches and runs and efforts on goal
Lundstram 5/10: Pretty ineffective and umimpressive in most positions tonight. Garbage shots on goal.
Fleck 4.5/10: Thought he looked back to his 'back injury' self tonight. Game position and perception and ball distribution poor. Looked leaden, again.
Lowe 6/10: Whilst he is not exactly PL standard, he spent much of the scond half on the far touchline with his arm up and no one taking advantage of his position, even Norwood.
McGoldrick 8/10: He seems to be the only player we have who can win a ball, keep it and move with it. Good effort denied by the handball
Sharp 6/10: Usual graft from Billy all for not much, because he was denied service. Well struck penalty.
Brewster 3/10: No more 'poor kid'. I am convinced he is not good enough for adult football. He may have got a hatful last season and we may have spunked a load of cash on him but at the moment he's just chasing possession and never in a position to make any effect whatsoever. I'd like to see the scout who recommended and persuaded Wilder to sign him. Scoring goals in the Championship isn't the whole story. There has to be other aspects - such as what Watkins and Bamford possess, which makes up for what appears to be wholesale naivety and almost childlike petulance.

Norwood 3/10; Outmuscled, clumsy and positionally crap, once again. Zero effect from the bench.
Burke 4/10: Usual 'running around a lot' but you know he's not gonna score

Mousset 8/10: Made an appearance on the bench, but pulled up injured when he stood up to go and get changed at the final whistle. #bladestwitter say he's out for ten weeks with a broken testicle

Wilder 5/10: For getting us to the QF. Loses five marks from ten for doing it so lumpenly and gracelessly.

Ho Hum. Bring on the fackin' cockney caaaaaaaaaaaahnts.

pommpey
First

pommpey
 
Winning cup games when you're favourites is never exciting. We're used to the excitement of being the underdogs and nicking a win against one of the big boys.

We controlled that game, never looked like conceding, created at least 3 very good chances and are now one game from Wembley.

Honestly don't know what some people expect? Good win that, enjoy it!
 
Ok, Nahki wells should have played his mate in, but, apart from that I thought we looked quite comfortable
 
Don’t know what you expected Ramsdale to do with that save , hold it ?

Not rebound it into the penalty area.

Most goalkeeping coaches work hard to get keepers to parry hard shots away from goal or round the post, or use their chest and arms to kill the energy in the shot and smother it.

Ramsdale has rebounded a few shots straight at attacker this season. Again, one has to make comparisons to Henderson, who made the right positional and tactical decisions more than Ramsdale.

pommpey
 
Agree we looked more vulnerable against 10 men, you could sense the fear of expectation of pushing on to score a few effected our confidence and we had a little panic ball. Am fearful that Jayden Bogle will be poached from us before the start of next season, outstanding potential showed again tonight.
 
Only watched second half & I thought we were terrible against a very ordinary [no disrespect to BC] team. Attack was poor, & even worse after we scored, & as for RB he looks very poor & I cannot see why we would pay £2 million for him, never mind £23 million. Norwood looks like an accident waiting to happen & offered nothing when he came on. I saw nothing to encourage me for next season.

And.....................is there a magnet stationed on the Kop about 6 feet above the bar of the goal? I ask because our 'long' shots seem somewhat attracted to that area!

Overall 3.5 out of 10, & the .5 is because we are in the quarter final as fodder for whoever we play!
 
My take - Toxic supporters, thank the lord you won’t have to actually watch us live next season living so far away. It’s not far away enough in my opinion.
I thought I had read it all but this is an absolute beauty. You want to hope and pray we don’t do well in the championship next season if we do you’re a busted flush and shit like this will be thrown back at you at every opportunity. I am very much looking forward to this happening.
See you next season.
 
My take - Toxic supporters, thank the lord you won’t have to actually watch us live next season living so far away. It’s not far away enough in my opinion.
I thought I had read it all but this is an absolute beauty. You want to hope and pray we don’t do well in the championship next season if we do you’re a busted flush and shit like this will be thrown back at you at every opportunity. I am very much looking forward to this happening.
See you next season.

Feel better, love?

Good. And now, the match?

pommpey

EDIT> Thought not.
 
Last edited:
Have to say pommpey that your report was far more entertaining than the match itself.
Not saying I agree with everything, however I wholeheartedly agree with you on the 'quality' of our shooting. When I see other Prem teams, they all seem to be able to strike the ball firm and true but our lot appear to be wearing clown shoes. Unlike Fleck, at least Lunny is willing to have a pop, but he might as well not bother as it's either straight down the keepers throat or in good ol' row Z. I love Didzy, I'd crawl bollock naked over broken glass just to watch him caress the ball from the air and drop his shoulder in the same movement, but it's like he's got wonky legs when it's time to shoot... "just pass it into the net Dave, pass it"....
Ollie, he of the crossfield ping onto a sixpence, couldn't someone tell him to imagine that George Baldock is making a run arriving in the top corner of their goal? "It's just the same Ollie, just ping it in the direction of their goal".
 
My take on today:

Your reports increasingly have an ADHD look about them. So Bristol City won the midfield battle? On what planet exactly was that? They were toothless as fuck.

You prefer views on the football not the man, so I'll oblige. Now, in that order, the further we got in the FA cup, the less exciting and more routine our wins have become.

Bristol Rovers was a whacky, good old-fashioned ding-dong battle in the early rounds. They offered a threat and traded blows with us, hoping to catch us out on what was back then a day of zero confidence. They deserved their two goals, we deserved to go through and probably were worthy of more than our three goals. Unlike at any stage in the Prem, we generally carried a goal threat and could have had five. 3-2 it was and ... you felt offended by that. 6-0 was mentioned in dispatches...

Then Plymouth came to town. They looked far more cultured than Rovers, but really only had two chances all match. Granted, one of those could (and should) have made it 1-0, but the other one we gifted them when the game was over. I found this game more boring and less satisfying than the third round, but that was because at 2-0 we looked like cruising to a boring but easy 3-0 win. So to end it 2-1 with moderately soiled pants due to the panic in the last ten minutes felt underwhelming.

It was an easy regulation win without any gloss because we blew up in the end. You and I were both disappointed, you in line with your general tendency towards hyperbole probably even more so than me. :p

Today, then. Bristol City were worse than both Rovers or Plymouth. We again should have won 3-0. The control was there. The chances were. They hardly had the ball. They did not even manage to sow panic by corners or balls into our box - everybody else has for 30 matches running. They had two chances. Even a percentage machine like Newcastle or t'Pigs who score from 50% of their attempts on target would only have scored the one.

No soilage of pants today. At all. Clean as the ref's whistle when he carded Mawson.

Quite why the pen embarrassed you I do not know. Hard to spot, but handball all day long. Otherwise that shot ripples the net. But no, not only do you expect us to win 3-0 to mid-table championship teams, anything below the standard of Brazil 1970 goals is now "embarrassing" cause we are Prem and should stamp our authority on these kinds of lower-league scufflers. Dear me.

The type of authority that Prem teams in your world magically carry with them - we never had it. Not in the early nineties under Harry, not in 2006 under Uncle Neil, not even last year. Incidentally, neither of Brighton, Norwich, Burnley, Newcastle, Palace, Leeds, Southampton and a long list of other Premier League regulars or occasional visitors have ever displayed this mythical "we're naturally better than you" nobility so we'll tonk all lower-leaguers by scoring beautiful goals and feel embarrassed at pens we get en route.

This was a boring win because it was so low-key. All of Ramsdale, the defence, Didzy and Sharp did their job. 6 or 7s all because they were unremarkable but sound.

Brewster was a 4 - poor kid. Fleck and Lundstram 6 or 5, so slightly disappointing.

Bristol City showed a shocking lack of fight, belief or appetite. Until we brought on Norwood and stopped occupying them in their third, they were happy to lose 1-0. That was before and after the sending off.

By way of comparison, they were every bit as unadventurous as West Ham were at Old Trafford yesterday. In the match by default until somebody scores. Then out of it unless the stars align.

These games are in every cup run. How shite was our 1-0 vs Reading all those years back when Sandford scored? Millwall last year? You want the weakest team in the draw at home simply because they offer the hope of an unbruised, forgotten at ten past ten match like today's.

So the entire premise that this match - if won - could ever offend or annoy you... Why?

Not sure whether you ever go to the Mental Health thread? If not, I suggest you do a bit of behavioural therapy for the quarter final, especially should we draw someone whose standing in the world leads you to believe that we should best them. A Bournemouth or Southampton, like.

Here is the words for your bed-side table in order to chill you out.

"I love Sheffield United."

"Sheffield United owe me nothing. They are not responsible for satisfying my thirst for sexy football."

"Sheffield United are not (and may never be) Premier League class (disregarding the philosophical quandary what the term Premier League class entails)."

"Sheffield United do not cause my anger. Must look harder for the root causes of my desire to exaggerate in literally every report sentence I write".

Pull it off and you might even enjoy another boring 1-0 on that basis. Or accept a 1-3 defeat in good grace.

Because there is an element of boy who cried wolf at play here. If unspectacular, workmanlike wins like Plymouth or Bristol City annoy you, where is your escalation level for the really dreadful days? Academic rumour has it that in linguistic circles, the term Pommpey-speak has become an almost like-for-like equivalent to what you call Wilderball in footballing terms... :p
 

We dominated the game against a team ten places lower than us in the league pyramid—had twice as much of the ball and twice as many shots and shots on target. We lacked the quality in the final third to get the goals our dominance deserved, which has happened now and then under Wilder. We lack a player with that bit of stardust to beat a man, do something unexpected, when our patient possession and movement isn’t enough to pick the lock. It’s been that way since we got promoted to the Championship.

At the end of the day, if this match is reflective of our quality relative to a play off contender in the Championship then we will do pretty well next season.
 
So Bristol City did to us what we have done to the top teams all season. Sat deep, defended in numbers and made almost zero attempt to win the game, apart from the odd counter attack. We controlled the ball, probed and tried to score but it is incredibly difficult (as you can see by the results against us and also if you use a reference of Liverpool’s recent losses and they have , Mane, Salah and Firminio in attack). We won the game, showed we were much better than Bristol City and are now in the next round of the FA Cup. Enjoy it.
Are some of our players not good enough for the Premiership? Yes. Is everything perfect? No
With regards to Ramsdale’s save. It was a good save. It was hit hard and low and compared to some of his attempts earlier in the season, it was an improvement. If you notice though, if he had pushed it out to the side a BC player was waiting unmarked, so what he did was the better option. Whether he did that on purpose, only he knows.
 
That looked painful and hard work to play. Fuck me it was painful and hard work to watch.

I've seen a few optimistic souls around the bazars spouting stuff which suggests we'll simply drop, have a rest, sign a few players and wipe next year's Championship on our snippet valve with aplomb. The hopefully brief sojourn in the league below will be a festival of us vanquishing oppositions and running outright winners, maybe ... runners up ... or some pessimists even say playoffs.

Hope tonight shines a light on exactly how dismal we have become. Okay, first things first ... a win is a win and we're in the QF. But most of the easy opposition out (and all our three victories in this tournamnet have been against lower league sides who gave more than a good account of themselves to make our victories look somewhat narrower than they were) we're gonna face a PL side next, possibly away. Unless it's Man U, and they play like fucking jellyfish like they did a fortnight ago, we're out of this jambouree, possibly by more goals than we wish for. To struggle to make much of a dent on a mid-Championship Bristol City and rely on VAR to rescue us again is damning evidence of Wilder's gathering incapability to craft a system to do even the basics, press, tackle, pass accurately and most of all, crack the ball effectively on target. Front to back we were as good as matched tonight. They reminded me of us in many phases of play. They looked like they didn't have a system to play to. They were sloppy, naive and unskilled, but fuck me they decided for all that, they were gonna give us a game. Despite having all the possession for long periods, we had four different systems and none of them worked. Some individuals decided fuck this' and played their own game and that shone ... but others look done for their brief period in the blinding lights of the big time because even out of that spotlight, their output is still dismally crap.

At 3-4-3 we couldn't get passing systems together, and that morphed into 5-2-1-2 as they pressed, after our initial failures to build play. We escaped punishment from that early crack on goal thanks to Ampadu and maybe deserved some luck with Lowe's effort which kissed the top of the crossbar. But every other foray ends up nowhere. Pass-pass-pass-backwards-this-way-that-way. When exactly is a good time to make the run and get the shot on target? Oh, 'on target', that one. Over the past few matches we have had some shots, from distance, on target. Almost all have ended up tamely down the keeper's throat or bouncing off the plastic seats. What the fuck is this, from Premier League players? Then it was 3-4-1-2 (and variants) where the midfield (loosely formed and all over the shop) comprised Bogle and Lowe out wide with Fleck and Lunny inside, but again, never imposing. Their central three were winning the battle. We did press on in the second half (despite an early scare) but initially it was fruitless. We were still dicking about blocked in on each flank and even when we did break and threaten, that ball across the box evaded both Sharp and Brewster. It was all huuf and puff but not even the straw house would come down. Finally we get the break and yes, it was a penalty and a red card. I felt a bit ashamed when it was given, to be honest, but relieved when Sharp slammed it in. Then Wilder, in his wisdom, drags Sharp off (is he starting vs WHU?) and sticks Norwood on and we go back to the last fifteen minutes in 5-3-2 and endless, pointless Wilderball. We looked less likely to hang onto the lead versus ten men, to be honest. Norwood, who'd come on for Sharp almost as if Wilder was making a point made the point for him that even against 10 men and a league below, he is fragile as fuck, and gave away the obligatory last minute free kick that had it not been a lofted punt into Ramsdale's arms, could have done the Brighton trick and done us right up the shitter.

Finally, we got the win, only just.

Ramsdale 6/10: Not a lot to do, testimony to BCFCs redundant lone striker. Fucking crap shot stopping that could have gifted them a goal as he pushed a shot out into the field of play once again
Basham 6/10: Better in the second half when in a settled, known formation
Egan 6.5/10: had their big centre forward to deal with and dealt with him well. Stood his ground and put in some decent interventions
Ampadu 7/10: Looks like he's putting the effort in now the management has changed at Stamford Bridge and it being unlikely Chelsea will want anything from him if he's part of a relegated side
Bogle 7.5/10: Growing into the role a lot and to me, more a challenge for Lundstram in right midfield than Baldock as RB/RWB. Some night touches and runs and efforts on goal
Lundstram 5/10: Pretty ineffective and umimpressive in most positions tonight. Garbage shots on goal.
Fleck 4.5/10: Thought he looked back to his 'back injury' self tonight. Game position and perception and ball distribution poor. Looked leaden, again.
Lowe 6/10: Whilst he is not exactly PL standard, he spent much of the scond half on the far touchline with his arm up and no one taking advantage of his position, even Norwood.
McGoldrick 8/10: He seems to be the only player we have who can win a ball, keep it and move with it. Good effort denied by the handball
Sharp 6/10: Usual graft from Billy all for not much, because he was denied service. Well struck penalty.
Brewster 3/10: No more 'poor kid'. I am convinced he is not good enough for adult football. He may have got a hatful last season and we may have spunked a load of cash on him but at the moment he's just chasing possession and never in a position to make any effect whatsoever. I'd like to see the scout who recommended and persuaded Wilder to sign him. Scoring goals in the Championship isn't the whole story. There has to be other aspects - such as what Watkins and Bamford possess, which makes up for what appears to be wholesale naivety and almost childlike petulance.

Norwood 3/10; Outmuscled, clumsy and positionally crap, once again. Zero effect from the bench.
Burke 4/10: Usual 'running around a lot' but you know he's not gonna score

Mousset 8/10: Made an appearance on the bench, but pulled up injured when he stood up to go and get changed at the final whistle. #bladestwitter say he's out for ten weeks with a broken testicle

Wilder 5/10: For getting us to the QF. Loses five marks from ten for doing it so lumpenly and gracelessly.

The commentators discussing the 74-75 team and the lino's gloves spelled out what a slightly embarrassing borefest it was.

Ho Hum. Bring on the fackin' cockney caaaaaaaaaaaahnts.

pommpey
Couldn't agree more and especially the comments about Brewster, who looks like he's actually afraid of the ball, constantly out of position and as you say, like a petulant child!
But it was a good warm up game for next season.
 
My take - Toxic supporters, thank the lord you won’t have to actually watch us live next season living so far away. It’s not far away enough in my opinion.
I thought I had read it all but this is an absolute beauty. You want to hope and pray we don’t do well in the championship next season if we do you’re a busted flush and shit like this will be thrown back at you at every opportunity. I am very much looking forward to this happening.
See you next season.
Strange post
 
My take on today:

Your reports increasingly have an ADHD look about them. So Bristol City won the midfield battle? On what planet exactly was that? They were toothless as fuck.

You prefer views on the football not the man, so I'll oblige. Now, in that order, the further we got in the FA cup, the less exciting and more routine our wins have become.

Bristol Rovers was a whacky, good old-fashioned ding-dong battle in the early rounds. They offered a threat and traded blows with us, hoping to catch us out on what was back then a day of zero confidence. They deserved their two goals, we deserved to go through and probably were worthy of more than our three goals. Unlike at any stage in the Prem, we generally carried a goal threat and could have had five. 3-2 it was and ... you felt offended by that. 6-0 was mentioned in dispatches...

Then Plymouth came to town. They looked far more cultured than Rovers, but really only had two chances all match. Granted, one of those could (and should) have made it 1-0, but the other one we gifted them when the game was over. I found this game more boring and less satisfying than the third round, but that was because at 2-0 we looked like cruising to a boring but easy 3-0 win. So to end it 2-1 with moderately soiled pants due to the panic in the last ten minutes felt underwhelming.

It was an easy regulation win without any gloss because we blew up in the end. You and I were both disappointed, you in line with your general tendency towards hyperbole probably even more so than me. :p

Today, then. Bristol City were worse than both Rovers or Plymouth. We again should have won 3-0. The control was there. The chances were. They hardly had the ball. They did not even manage to sow panic by corners or balls into our box - everybody else has for 30 matches running. They had two chances. Even a percentage machine like Newcastle or t'Pigs who score from 50% of their attempts on target would only have scored the one.

No soilage of pants today. At all. Clean as the ref's whistle when he carded Mawson.

Quite why the pen embarrassed you I do not know. Hard to spot, but handball all day long. Otherwise that shot ripples the net. But no, not only do you expect us to win 3-0 to mid-table championship teams, anything below the standard of Brazil 1970 goals is now "embarrassing" cause we are Prem and should stamp our authority on these kinds of lower-league scufflers. Dear me.

The type of authority that Prem teams in your world magically carry with them - we never had it. Not in the early nineties under Harry, not in 2006 under Uncle Neil, not even last year. Incidentally, neither of Brighton, Norwich, Burnley, Newcastle, Palace, Leeds, Southampton and a long list of other Premier League regulars or occasional visitors have ever displayed this mythical "we're naturally better than you" nobility so we'll tonk all lower-leaguers by scoring beautiful goals and feel embarrassed at pens we get en route.

This was a boring win because it was so low-key. All of Ramsdale, the defence, Didzy and Sharp did their job. 6 or 7s all because they were unremarkable but sound.

Brewster was a 4 - poor kid. Fleck and Lundstram 6 or 5, so slightly disappointing.

Bristol City showed a shocking lack of fight, belief or appetite. Until we brought on Norwood and stopped occupying them in their third, they were happy to lose 1-0. That was before and after the sending off.

By way of comparison, they were every bit as unadventurous as West Ham were at Old Trafford yesterday. In the match by default until somebody scores. Then out of it unless the stars align.

These games are in every cup run. How shite was our 1-0 vs Reading all those years back when Sandford scored? Millwall last year? You want the weakest team in the draw at home simply because they offer the hope of an unbruised, forgotten at ten past ten match like today's.

So the entire premise that this match - if won - could ever offend or annoy you... Why?

Not sure whether you ever go to the Mental Health thread? If not, I suggest you do a bit of behavioural therapy for the quarter final, especially should we draw someone whose standing in the world leads you to believe that we should best them. A Bournemouth or Southampton, like.

Here is the words for your bed-side table in order to chill you out.

"I love Sheffield United."

"Sheffield United owe me nothing. They are not responsible for satisfying my thirst for sexy football."

"Sheffield United are not (and may never be) Premier League class (disregarding the philosophical quandary what the term Premier League class entails)."

"Sheffield United do not cause my anger. Must look harder for the root causes of my desire to exaggerate in literally every report sentence I write".

Pull it off and you might even enjoy another boring 1-0 on that basis. Or accept a 1-3 defeat in good grace.

Because there is an element of boy who cried wolf at play here. If unspectacular, workmanlike wins like Plymouth or Bristol City annoy you, where is your escalation level for the really dreadful days? Academic rumour has it that in linguistic circles, the term Pommpey-speak has become an almost like-for-like equivalent to what you call Wilderball in footballing terms... :p
Gone for ADHD lol your post sounds like you could be on the spectrum.
 
My take on today:

Your reports increasingly have an ADHD look about them. So Bristol City won the midfield battle? On what planet exactly was that? They were toothless as fuck.

You prefer views on the football not the man, so I'll oblige. Now, in that order, the further we got in the FA cup, the less exciting and more routine our wins have become.

Bristol Rovers was a whacky, good old-fashioned ding-dong battle in the early rounds. They offered a threat and traded blows with us, hoping to catch us out on what was back then a day of zero confidence. They deserved their two goals, we deserved to go through and probably were worthy of more than our three goals. Unlike at any stage in the Prem, we generally carried a goal threat and could have had five. 3-2 it was and ... you felt offended by that. 6-0 was mentioned in dispatches...

Then Plymouth came to town. They looked far more cultured than Rovers, but really only had two chances all match. Granted, one of those could (and should) have made it 1-0, but the other one we gifted them when the game was over. I found this game more boring and less satisfying than the third round, but that was because at 2-0 we looked like cruising to a boring but easy 3-0 win. So to end it 2-1 with moderately soiled pants due to the panic in the last ten minutes felt underwhelming.

It was an easy regulation win without any gloss because we blew up in the end. You and I were both disappointed, you in line with your general tendency towards hyperbole probably even more so than me. :p

Today, then. Bristol City were worse than both Rovers or Plymouth. We again should have won 3-0. The control was there. The chances were. They hardly had the ball. They did not even manage to sow panic by corners or balls into our box - everybody else has for 30 matches running. They had two chances. Even a percentage machine like Newcastle or t'Pigs who score from 50% of their attempts on target would only have scored the one.

No soilage of pants today. At all. Clean as the ref's whistle when he carded Mawson.

Quite why the pen embarrassed you I do not know. Hard to spot, but handball all day long. Otherwise that shot ripples the net. But no, not only do you expect us to win 3-0 to mid-table championship teams, anything below the standard of Brazil 1970 goals is now "embarrassing" cause we are Prem and should stamp our authority on these kinds of lower-league scufflers. Dear me.

The type of authority that Prem teams in your world magically carry with them - we never had it. Not in the early nineties under Harry, not in 2006 under Uncle Neil, not even last year. Incidentally, neither of Brighton, Norwich, Burnley, Newcastle, Palace, Leeds, Southampton and a long list of other Premier League regulars or occasional visitors have ever displayed this mythical "we're naturally better than you" nobility so we'll tonk all lower-leaguers by scoring beautiful goals and feel embarrassed at pens we get en route.

This was a boring win because it was so low-key. All of Ramsdale, the defence, Didzy and Sharp did their job. 6 or 7s all because they were unremarkable but sound.

Brewster was a 4 - poor kid. Fleck and Lundstram 6 or 5, so slightly disappointing.

Bristol City showed a shocking lack of fight, belief or appetite. Until we brought on Norwood and stopped occupying them in their third, they were happy to lose 1-0. That was before and after the sending off.

By way of comparison, they were every bit as unadventurous as West Ham were at Old Trafford yesterday. In the match by default until somebody scores. Then out of it unless the stars align.

These games are in every cup run. How shite was our 1-0 vs Reading all those years back when Sandford scored? Millwall last year? You want the weakest team in the draw at home simply because they offer the hope of an unbruised, forgotten at ten past ten match like today's.

So the entire premise that this match - if won - could ever offend or annoy you... Why?

Not sure whether you ever go to the Mental Health thread? If not, I suggest you do a bit of behavioural therapy for the quarter final, especially should we draw someone whose standing in the world leads you to believe that we should best them. A Bournemouth or Southampton, like.

Here is the words for your bed-side table in order to chill you out.

"I love Sheffield United."

"Sheffield United owe me nothing. They are not responsible for satisfying my thirst for sexy football."

"Sheffield United are not (and may never be) Premier League class (disregarding the philosophical quandary what the term Premier League class entails)."

"Sheffield United do not cause my anger. Must look harder for the root causes of my desire to exaggerate in literally every report sentence I write".

Pull it off and you might even enjoy another boring 1-0 on that basis. Or accept a 1-3 defeat in good grace.

Because there is an element of boy who cried wolf at play here. If unspectacular, workmanlike wins like Plymouth or Bristol City annoy you, where is your escalation level for the really dreadful days? Academic rumour has it that in linguistic circles, the term Pommpey-speak has become an almost like-for-like equivalent to what you call Wilderball in footballing terms... :p
Absolutely spot on great post and sums it up perfectly. I didn’t ever read any of his “my take” in league one but if this tonight gets him so angry blimey the games in league one would have sent him on a killing spree.
 
My take on today:

Your reports increasingly have an ADHD look about them. So Bristol City won the midfield battle? On what planet exactly was that? They were toothless as fuck.

You prefer views on the football not the man, so I'll oblige. Now, in that order, the further we got in the FA cup, the less exciting and more routine our wins have become.

Bristol Rovers was a whacky, good old-fashioned ding-dong battle in the early rounds. They offered a threat and traded blows with us, hoping to catch us out on what was back then a day of zero confidence. They deserved their two goals, we deserved to go through and probably were worthy of more than our three goals. Unlike at any stage in the Prem, we generally carried a goal threat and could have had five. 3-2 it was and ... you felt offended by that. 6-0 was mentioned in dispatches...

Then Plymouth came to town. They looked far more cultured than Rovers, but really only had two chances all match. Granted, one of those could (and should) have made it 1-0, but the other one we gifted them when the game was over. I found this game more boring and less satisfying than the third round, but that was because at 2-0 we looked like cruising to a boring but easy 3-0 win. So to end it 2-1 with moderately soiled pants due to the panic in the last ten minutes felt underwhelming.

It was an easy regulation win without any gloss because we blew up in the end. You and I were both disappointed, you in line with your general tendency towards hyperbole probably even more so than me. :p

Today, then. Bristol City were worse than both Rovers or Plymouth. We again should have won 3-0. The control was there. The chances were. They hardly had the ball. They did not even manage to sow panic by corners or balls into our box - everybody else has for 30 matches running. They had two chances. Even a percentage machine like Newcastle or t'Pigs who score from 50% of their attempts on target would only have scored the one.

No soilage of pants today. At all. Clean as the ref's whistle when he carded Mawson.

Quite why the pen embarrassed you I do not know. Hard to spot, but handball all day long. Otherwise that shot ripples the net. But no, not only do you expect us to win 3-0 to mid-table championship teams, anything below the standard of Brazil 1970 goals is now "embarrassing" cause we are Prem and should stamp our authority on these kinds of lower-league scufflers. Dear me.

The type of authority that Prem teams in your world magically carry with them - we never had it. Not in the early nineties under Harry, not in 2006 under Uncle Neil, not even last year. Incidentally, neither of Brighton, Norwich, Burnley, Newcastle, Palace, Leeds, Southampton and a long list of other Premier League regulars or occasional visitors have ever displayed this mythical "we're naturally better than you" nobility so we'll tonk all lower-leaguers by scoring beautiful goals and feel embarrassed at pens we get en route.

This was a boring win because it was so low-key. All of Ramsdale, the defence, Didzy and Sharp did their job. 6 or 7s all because they were unremarkable but sound.

Brewster was a 4 - poor kid. Fleck and Lundstram 6 or 5, so slightly disappointing.

Bristol City showed a shocking lack of fight, belief or appetite. Until we brought on Norwood and stopped occupying them in their third, they were happy to lose 1-0. That was before and after the sending off.

By way of comparison, they were every bit as unadventurous as West Ham were at Old Trafford yesterday. In the match by default until somebody scores. Then out of it unless the stars align.

These games are in every cup run. How shite was our 1-0 vs Reading all those years back when Sandford scored? Millwall last year? You want the weakest team in the draw at home simply because they offer the hope of an unbruised, forgotten at ten past ten match like today's.

So the entire premise that this match - if won - could ever offend or annoy you... Why?

Not sure whether you ever go to the Mental Health thread? If not, I suggest you do a bit of behavioural therapy for the quarter final, especially should we draw someone whose standing in the world leads you to believe that we should best them. A Bournemouth or Southampton, like.

Here is the words for your bed-side table in order to chill you out.

"I love Sheffield United."

"Sheffield United owe me nothing. They are not responsible for satisfying my thirst for sexy football."

"Sheffield United are not (and may never be) Premier League class (disregarding the philosophical quandary what the term Premier League class entails)."

"Sheffield United do not cause my anger. Must look harder for the root causes of my desire to exaggerate in literally every report sentence I write".

Pull it off and you might even enjoy another boring 1-0 on that basis. Or accept a 1-3 defeat in good grace.

Because there is an element of boy who cried wolf at play here. If unspectacular, workmanlike wins like Plymouth or Bristol City annoy you, where is your escalation level for the really dreadful days? Academic rumour has it that in linguistic circles, the term Pommpey-speak has become an almost like-for-like equivalent to what you call Wilderball in footballing terms... :p
Some half decent points utterly ruined by the personal slur 😞. Totally uncalled for.

Have a good look in the mirror fella.

Also, understand that this is the “light hearted” version of the match report. The Ricky Gervais equivalent of Deadbats Trevor McDonald.

Get your head around that, get a libation of your choice inside ya and read the report in the context in which it is intended.

Or just don’t bother reading it at all !

UTB
 
I turned the game off at half-time, it was boring me to death. McGoldrick seems to be the only player capable of doing something. Ramsdale's distribution is crap and every time the ball goes back to him I fear the worst. I really want Brewster to do well but Jesus Christ he's way off the mark right now. But he should be ok next season once he's at his level, Klipperty will be laughing his arse off at how much we paid for him. The buy-back clause is a good one because on the off-chance he turns great they'll swoop in and pick him up, otherwise they know he'll never rather their potential.
 
Some half decent points utterly ruined by the personal slur 😞. Totally uncalled for.

Have a good look in the mirror fella.

Also, understand that this is the “light hearted” version of the match report. The Ricky Gervais equivalent of Deadbats Trevor McDonald.

Get your head around that, get a libation of your choice inside ya and read the report in the context in which it is intended.

Or just don’t bother reading it at all !

UTB
A light hearted take? It comes across as an angry rant to me. I suppose it’s not my humour, feeling ashamed a penalty was given to us isn’t light hearted comments in my opinion.
 
A light hearted take? It comes across as an angry rant to me. I suppose it’s not my humour, feeling ashamed a penalty was given to us isn’t light hearted comments in my opinion.

Blimey. This being the person who shoved up the 'toxic supporters' rooering up there.

Anything about the match, you mardy arsed daftlad? G'wan. Just comment on the pitch. The linesmen's gloves? Bristol City goalkeeper's kit? Anything?

Seems to you that anything but loyal, tubthumping praise shouldn't be up here on this here public forum. And you talk about arselicking as well. Can't beat that approach. Not deluded, at all.

Don't read any more of 'My take ...' posts. It's clearly not where you want to be.

pommpey
 
I turned the game off at half-time,

I salute your prescience.

I endured the whole thing and the only thing that made it worthwhile was the result. There was probably 5 minutes, maybe 10, in the whole game where we resembled a purposeful football team.

I'm not going to make light of Bristol City, even with a weakened line up they are a decent side but they were hardly ultra-defensive, so it's hardly surprising we can't score goals in the Premier League.

Brewster. I hope to God I'm wrong about this but all I can say is.... James Wilson and Ben Woodburn. Where are they now?

I loathe football commentators and their gobshite sidekicks in general (the Bristol Rovers game was an honourable exception, no wonder we've never heard that bloke again), but last night's was like eavesdropping on an inane chat in a random cafe. Occasionally the two of them would remember why they were there and over-compensate by praising both sides more than they deserved.

I think I saw there's a "cliche" thread on the forum somewhere. This game won't live long in the memory.
 
Blimey. This being the person who shoved up the 'toxic supporters' rooering up there.

Anything about the match, you mardy arsed daftlad? G'wan. Just comment on the pitch. The linesmen's gloves? Bristol City goalkeeper's kit? Anything?

Seems to you that anything but loyal, tubthumping praise shouldn't be up here on this here public forum. And you talk about arselicking as well. Can't beat that approach. Not deluded, at all.

Don't read any more of 'My take ...' posts. It's clearly not where you want to be.

pommpey
I spoke about football in your last “my take” and you just went on another silly little rant. Be honest you’re not actually interested in the game at all. All you are interested in is the notoriety of these crazy comments. Show me where I have praised the performance go on just one little “we played well” comment? Surely if I have given tubthumping praise you can quote me.
We didn’t play well but neither was I embarrassed by the win or ashamed when we got a rightly fully awarded penalty. We never got out of second gear and dominated the ball against a championship team. That’s it that’s the long and short of it. You could have saved yourself half an hour and wrote that. However writing that won’t give you the attention you so desperately crave.
 

A light hearted take? It comes across as an angry rant to me. I suppose it’s not my humour, feeling ashamed a penalty was given to us isn’t light hearted comments in my opinion.
The whole point of these reports is to give a personal slant on the aspects of the match to be appraised. It’s an individual take. “My take” is the throw away clue !!

We are all different with different views. That’s a good thing btw. I also concur that our penalty award last night was neither incorrect or embarrassing.

However.

When I watch one of my favourite comics perform a stand up routine, I can’t ever recall enjoying / agreeing with everything that is said. Some stuff can be not funny (to me) or worse still, a bit cringe. But I still enjoy the performance as a whole and manage to “dial out” the other bits.

Honestly, the guys that put these “reports” out there for consumption deserve a medal for the dedication time and effort they put in. I couldn’t do it, knowing the reactions they often create. I’ve been guilty of said reactions my self on occasion and on reflection, wish I hadn’t.

You don’t have to read / agree on these things (except to agree that McPub is as accurate a descriptive of our marmite #9 as it is saddening 😞😀.)

UTB
 

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