Hmmm, a tricky one. It's rather like telling you that you're going to be painted from head to toe in gloss paint whether you like it or not, but at least you get to choose the colour. Either way you'll be covered in paint, and getting rid of it will be painful.
Or perhaps baddies making you choose between them shooting one of your pets - either the dog or the cat gets it. Then again, that might be easy to decide. At least the dog is always happy to see you, unlike the cat, the shifty looking little fucker. And the dog is quite happy licking his own arse, he sees no need to present it to you at half three in the morning, unlike the cat, who delights in walking all over your head in the middle of the night, especially if he's been out in the rain. And the dog isn't a merciless killer of small mammals and birds, although he does have a particular hatred of free newspapers. The dog is quite happy to have his ears pulled and his tummy tickled all night long, whereas when the cat gets sick of it he turns into a miniature Freddie Kruger and slashes you to ribbons.
That's it, my mind is made up.
Shoot the cat. Serves the little bastard right.
