Can someone please update me?

[H. Metal Blade]

Ive been away for a while and need updating on a few things as i figure some kind hearted soul here would update me quicker than trawling through several threads...(hopefully)

First, I can see from the first pages of topics that Paddys having a medical with QPR...is this for real? I had assumed this was one of the big rumours originally considering we saved his career! however im told theyve offered him ~£12k p/week!

Second, i had been told that Leeds had bid on three of our players; First, quite suprisingly theyd bid a large (1.5mil) on Ward, Second, Theyd bid around 1mill on Morgan and lastly (unsuprisingly) theyd offered a contract to monty....are any of these true/confirmed bullS... id honestly cry if any of them happened!!?

Thirdly, has anything happened on the Sharp front? Id love it if we could keep him at the lane for next year but cant see it in my heart!

Lastly, do we still have Cresswell?

Thanks for answering any of the above? UTB!

 

[SwissBlade]

Ive been away for a while and need updating on a few things as i figure some kind hearted soul here would update me quicker than trawling through several threads...(hopefully)

First, I can see from the first pages of topics that Paddys having a medical with QPR...is this for real? I had assumed this was one of the big rumours originally considering we saved his career! however im told theyve offered him ~£12k p/week!

Second, i had been told that Leeds had bid on three of our players; First, quite suprisingly theyd bid a large (1.5mil) on Ward, Second, Theyd bid around 1mill on Morgan and lastly (unsuprisingly) theyd offered a contract to monty....are any of these true/confirmed bullS... id honestly cry if any of them happened!!?

Thirdly, has anything happened on the Sharp front? Id love it if we could keep him at the lane for next year but cant see it in my heart!

Lastly, do we still have Cresswell?

Thanks for answering any of the above? UTB!

Basically, at 09:13 this morning, Bramall lane, Shirecliffe and Chengdu all imploded... No further activities will take place under the name of Sheffield United and FIFA have declared that we're banned from Football.

Jordan Stewart was the only survivor, he emerged from beneath the mushroom cloud juggling the ball and catching it on his neck...

At least thats what lenners told me...

 

[beightonblade]

Its all bollox spouted by the slashers, we are an ambitious club...we would never do anything like that.

Keep the faith and have patience.

 

[Bramley]

Slashers? eh?

 

[Highbury_Blade]

I blame the labour loonies myself

 

[Sothall_Blade]

Kenny - "A senior figure" at United but not Birch (i.e. Robinson!) put a clause in his contract allowing any club to talk to him if they offer £750K. This was to "soften the blow" of Kenny being paid less wages while he was unable to play for us due to his self-inflicted ban. The immensely grateful Kenny who will do anything to repay United has apparently now activated the clause in his contract and is having a medical at QPR. Either that, or United have seen the chance to add a quick £750K to the coffers and are shoving Kenny out of the door? Either way, it sounds like he's going.

Leeds - James Shields has to fill the back page of the The Star somehow. First he published a story saying that Leeds were interested in signing a few of our players. Then he published another story saying they probably couldn't afford to sign any of our players. Next, he decided that we were similar clubs and therefore likely to be interested in signing the same players. Back in the real world. No offers received, therefore nobody sold to them yet. Oh, apart from Naughton and Walker who they might be signing/borrowing from Spurs.

Ward - No offers received yet. Therefore not sold yet.

Sharp - See Ward.

Rest of squad - See Sharp.

Montgomery - We've offered him a new contract but he hasn't signed it yet.

Quinn, Creswell and Naysmith - See Montgomery.

Bogdanovic - Wants to play for us but hasn't signed yet. Rumour has it that Blackwell doesn't want him anyway.

Morgan - Signed a new contract. Not going anywhere. Some good news! Praise the lord! Halleleujah!

 

[H. Metal Blade]

brilliant - thanks for the comprehensive update!

 

[PeterNdlovu081]

Paddy Kenny is a Sheffield United player.
Chris Morgan is a Sheffield United player.
Nick Montgomery is a Sheffield United player.
Jamie Ward is a Sheffield United player.
Billy Sharp is a Sheffield United player.
Richard Cresswell is a Sheffield United player.

But apparently we're in meltdown.

 

[super_pig]

nick montgomery is 'still' a sheffield united player
stephen quinn is still a sheffield united player
darius henderson is still a sheffield united player..
ok we're not in meltdown but we're not going anywhere either.. we will be a 'difficult to beat workmanlike side'.. again.. we will finish tenth .. again.

 

[JJ Sefton]

At times like this...

[video=youtube;eMD_SWtPzlk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMD_SWtPzlk&feature=related[/video]

 

[Kenilworth]

As above although Sky has reported that Burnley and SUFC have agreed a fee for Billy Sharp but Shields is telling us that nothing has happened on this front.

Foxy tells us that two argies are coming in and one Blade is leaving although he will not elaborate on the ins and outs for fear of alienating his sources and watching egg dribble from his chin.

A Corporal Jones level of panic has infected many of the posters on here and they have all rushed out to purchase incontinence pants.

Monty is reported to have agreed to the latest deal offered which has prompted many posters into emptying their incontinence pants only to refill them again. Some are actually pleased and hope we sign someone creative to compliment his widely disputed attributes. Holds breath in wild anticipation.

So no - nothing really has happened. Same old same old.

 

[JJ Sefton]

Oh, and the band has just struck up Nearer My God to Thee.

 

[Oreyt]

As above although Sky has reported that Burnley and SUFC have agreed a fee for Billy Sharp but Shields is telling us that nothing has happened on this front.

Foxy tells us that two argies are coming in and one Blade is leaving although he will not elaborate on the ins and outs for fear of alienating his sources and watching egg dribble from his chin.

A Corporal Jones level of panic has infected many of the posters on here and they have all rushed out to purchase incontinence pants.

Monty is reported to have agreed to the latest deal offered which has prompted many posters into emptying their incontinence pants only to refill them again. Some are actually pleased and hope we sign someone creative to compliment his widely disputed attributes. Holds breath in wild anticipation.

So no - nothing really has happened. Same old same old.

Hehe

Doesn't this generally happen every year?

If people keep treading on rakes you'd expect them to stop being suprised when they're smacked in the face. You really wouldn't expect them to post on a rake related message boards detailing in great length about how they're STILL suprised.

 

[Kenilworth]

Oreyt; Hehe

Doesn't this generally happen every year?
If people keep treading on rakes you'd expect them to stop being suprised when they're smacked in the face. You really wouldn't expect them to post on a rake related message boards detailing in great length about how they're STILL suprised.


That's us - Slapstick United

 

[SwissBlade]

Update: Monty has just signed a new 3 year contract... that'll piss a few of the rumour mongers off. Ambition my arse!

 

[Ivanhoe]

Oh, and the band has just struck up Nearer My God to Thee.

Walt
Is this the same band that bought tickets to New York on the Carpathia and then upgraded onto the Titanic, as it would get there a lot quicker...

 

[Kev Gee]

Ive been away for a while and need updating on a few things as i figure some kind hearted soul here would update me quicker than trawling through several threads...(hopefully)

First, I can see from the first pages of topics that Paddys having a medical with QPR...is this for real? I had assumed this was one of the big rumours originally considering we saved his career! however im told theyve offered him ~£12k p/week!

Second, i had been told that Leeds had bid on three of our players; First, quite suprisingly theyd bid a large (1.5mil) on Ward, Second, Theyd bid around 1mill on Morgan and lastly (unsuprisingly) theyd offered a contract to monty....are any of these true/confirmed bullS... id honestly cry if any of them happened!!?

Thirdly, has anything happened on the Sharp front? Id love it if we could keep him at the lane for next year but cant see it in my heart!

Lastly, do we still have Cresswell?

Thanks for answering any of the above? UTB!

All you need to know is that the world as we know it has ended. And 1000s of blades followers have commited Hari Kari outside B.L

Some people are acting like the pope has been shot....

 

[sheffielder]

All you need to know is that the world as we know it has ended. And 1000s of blades followers have commited Hari Kari outside B.L

Some people are acting like the pope has been shot....

I don't think the Pope being shot was a good choice there, considering how he pardoned a paedo all those years ago!

 

[Kev Gee]

I don't think the Pope being shot was a good choice there, considering how he pardoned a paedo all those years ago!

haha!

We once had a famous manager by the name of neil warnock that said 'it was like the pope had been shot' after the Deane & Fjortoft saga.

I think were going along similar lines here in the hysteria stakes. @D

 

[Jostein Flo]

haha!

We once had a famous manager by the name of neil warnock that said 'it was like the pope had been shot' after the Deane & Fjortoft saga.

I think were going along similar lines here in the hysteria stakes. @D

Only then we had actual facts and figures to get upset about... now were working up in a frenzy over half truths and things that haven't happened (...yet?). Some people must have bloody good crystal balls.