My matchday

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Deadbat 's reports and Roygbiv 's 'View froms..' are, for me, the best things about the forum. Having produced a report in the same format as Deadbat for the Oxford game, I can also appreciate the amount of time that it takes to do it.

I can remember some silly fucker saying the reports rambled on and repeated themselves . He even let his wife have a look who agreed with him . Just cannot rember who it was .

The reports are brilliant as they are .
 



Deadbat 's reports and Roygbiv 's 'View froms..' are, for me, the best things about the forum. Having produced a report in the same format as Deadbat for the Oxford game, I can also appreciate the amount of time that it takes to do it.


Well said. I would add:


Player Match Ratings Section.

Twitter updates on match days.

I used to really appreciate WHF's manager's interview summaries. Any volunteers?

Larkymasher and Baw's U-23 and U-18's reports

Bladesman's match highlights.

Thank you all.
 
So you're saying we're beyond parody?
More or less. When attitudes become extreme, it becomes hard to distinguish reality and parody. Think of recent politics. Some of Trump's imitators are not nearly as weird as Trump. Our worrying has become obsessive. Was I the only person to think when we were 1-0 up 'What the hell is our right-back doing in the inside-left position (ask your dad/grandad)'? Then he scores a beautiful goal. We can't stop worrying.
 
More or less. When attitudes become extreme, it becomes hard to distinguish reality and parody. Think of recent politics. Some of Trump's imitators are not nearly as weird as Trump. Our worrying has become obsessive. Was I the only person to think when we were 1-0 up 'What the hell is our right-back doing in the inside-left position (ask your dad/grandad)'? Then he scores a beautiful goal. We can't stop worrying.
Left wing, inside left, centre forward, inside right, right wing

Left half, centre half, right half

Left back, right back

Keeper.
 
Got down to the ground for 19:30. But I was in two minds whether to go through the turnstile, I was so nervous I was hyperventilating and actually ended up being sick, but luckily I managed to direct most of it down a grate and didn't get much of it on my shoes.

Eventually plucked up the courage to go through, and went to my seat.

As kick off approached I was trembling, as thoughts went through my mind about the possibility that we could lose and how it would affect us, although I don't know the exact league situation because I don't really pay much attention.

When O'Conner scored after 15 minutes I was quite pleased, I clapped a few times and actually thought about rising from my seat for a second or two, I didn't though.

As the half went on I found myself muttering 'geritforud' repeatedly, because when they pass the ball around I worry they'll lose it. All I could do was sit there shaking, glued to my seat, crossing my fingers and hoping for the best.

I still had most of my finger nails left at half time, which is unusual for me. O'Conner's goal probably helped calm me.

Was really getting stuck into the last 3/4 finger nails before Freeman scored the 2nd, but after that went in I was quite confident we wouldn't lose so my breathing became more controlled. I was even relaxed enough to turn my phone light on and shine it towards the pitch, which was really good. It looked amazing.

Had to leave after 85 minutes because I need my glass of milk and beans on toast by 21:45. There's also the traffic to dodge and getting home 5 minutes earlier makes all the difference in my busy life.

This also suits my nerves, because if I leave early I can pretend nothing's happening and I don't have to think about what could go wrong.

With the score at 2-0 when I left my seat my blood pressure was under control and I thought to myself that we've surely secured a play off place now, so I was mildly pleased really.

I did though take the time to stand right in middle of the gangway at the back of the Kop for a few minutes. I thought "I have to leave but part of me doesn't want to leave so I'll just stand here". I don't know why I do it but think it makes sense.

Got home (without much traffic which was great) and found out it finished 2-0, heard on the radio we were 13 points clear of 3rd with 6 games to go?! I was surprised really but I'll take their word for it.

It sounds like we could go up this season but to be honest I just want it to end, because it's just too much stress. I'd take 2nd place now.

Fingers crossed we can hang on!
Have you got anyone special in your life richard ?
 
I would've actually put good money on you posting that exact reply in under 1 hour. Go on, unleash that inner bitch!


My pleasure. Don't tell me you ignore tap ins?

On the ball though? :)
 
Within one minute. Great effort.


It's because I'm logged on and there's this thing about replies.

I'm not making you nervous am I, only it appears there's a lot of it about. In fact people are sick of hearing it I'd guess.
 
Got down to the ground for 19:30. But I was in two minds whether to go through the turnstile, I was so nervous I was hyperventilating and actually ended up being sick, but luckily I managed to direct most of it down a grate and didn't get much of it on my shoes.

Eventually plucked up the courage to go through, and went to my seat.

As kick off approached I was trembling, as thoughts went through my mind about the possibility that we could lose and how it would affect us, although I don't know the exact league situation because I don't really pay much attention.

When O'Conner scored after 15 minutes I was quite pleased, I clapped a few times and actually thought about rising from my seat for a second or two, I didn't though.

As the half went on I found myself muttering 'geritforud' repeatedly, because when they pass the ball around I worry they'll lose it. All I could do was sit there shaking, glued to my seat, crossing my fingers and hoping for the best.

I still had most of my finger nails left at half time, which is unusual for me. O'Conner's goal probably helped calm me.

Was really getting stuck into the last 3/4 finger nails before Freeman scored the 2nd, but after that went in I was quite confident we wouldn't lose so my breathing became more controlled. I was even relaxed enough to turn my phone light on and shine it towards the pitch, which was really good. It looked amazing.

Had to leave after 85 minutes because I need my glass of milk and beans on toast by 21:45. There's also the traffic to dodge and getting home 5 minutes earlier makes all the difference in my busy life.

This also suits my nerves, because if I leave early I can pretend nothing's happening and I don't have to think about what could go wrong.

With the score at 2-0 when I left my seat my blood pressure was under control and I thought to myself that we've surely secured a play off place now, so I was mildly pleased really.

I did though take the time to stand right in middle of the gangway at the back of the Kop for a few minutes. I thought "I have to leave but part of me doesn't want to leave so I'll just stand here". I don't know why I do it but think it makes sense.

Got home (without much traffic which was great) and found out it finished 2-0, heard on the radio we were 13 points clear of 3rd with 6 games to go?! I was surprised really but I'll take their word for it.

It sounds like we could go up this season but to be honest I just want it to end, because it's just too much stress. I'd take 2nd place now.

Fingers crossed we can hang on!
I was waiting for the part where the 3 bears arrived.
 
My matchday...

Worked me bollox off.
Had mi tea
Had 2 pints
Watched match
Went home "appy"
Had a pikelet
Came on here.........only to be told "the atmosphere was crap". Could only have come from some idle git who got up about 11-12 o'clock, pissed about on a computer drinking cans of shit then went to the ground fully awake shouting, "Sing up Shoreham". Lazy twat.
 
This O.P. has 16 'likes'.

Pete Blade's has 13 this week.

Deadbat's excellent report has 11.

All matchday reports of their type.

Interesting to me. Just an observation.
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I realise that I should have put into context what I was really getting at:

We should all encourage Deadbat to do what he does - provides quality chronicles of all home and some away games week in week out, win or lose or draw. The quality is exceptional and a credit to this forum.

Of course a forum is a forum for all types of fans and there is a place for all manner of variations on a theme and types of humour. Live and let live but let's encourage Deadbat that bit more.

Deadbat will not appreciate this comment no doubt but I really do think his reports can be even more of a regular solid discussion thread and deserve to be.

Are you is agent?
 
And one promotion and 9 months later..... nothing's changed.
 
Never thought I'd see this thread again! :D
 

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