crap channel 5 coverage

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adebo

adebo

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What is it with goal rush offering us no credit and showing no highlights of our positive play. They didn't even discuss us and talked about bolton and Bradford. I want them to wax lyrical and scare the rest of the division as to our abilities!
 



Not happening but what we did Saturday was give Scunthorpe hope, sadly.
 
the last time they talked about us on that rubbish was adam virgo talking about how good a signing james hanson will be for us after the wimbledon game
 
True.......but I don't think anyone is that bothered about 3rd division football.

In many ways it might do us a big favour slipping under the radar so no one gets carried away
Another point is that Sheff Utd being top of league 1 is NOT big news or a talking point.
It's what everyone expects. It seems all the experts has us down as already promoted well before Christmas.
 
Dreadful show. That Lindsay Hipgrave has got a lovely set of pins, but that aside, nothing worth seeing.
 
I'm not sure if a side that's 5 points clear at the top of the table can go 'under the radar' but I get the point. Most, if not all sides know about United this season, if they're surprised that were a good footballing team, then that's just lazy and/or arrogance from the opposition IMO. It doesn't bother me one jot if people are talking about us or not, as long as we keep picking up the points on the march to the title, then I'm all good.

UTB
 
Stretch said:
Dreadful show. That Lindsay Hipgrave has got a lovely set of pins, but that aside, nothing worth seeing.
Click to expand...

I preferred the other lassie who has scarpered off back to Sky. Although she always looked like last week she was selling knitwear at Bon Marche to my nan and then someone happened by and asked her if she fancied a new life on the tellybox in exchange for a gob-job.

That show on Channel 5 is a woeful fucking embarrassment. I don't know what the pinheads were trying to do when they dreamed it up, but 'a new take on Match of the Day' it isn't. I really think that some cockend must have been tasked with creating it, watched socccer am, watched MotD and thought 'fusion'. All they needed was an 'edgy' (read: annoying, shrill and pointless) theme tune and stacks of wipe-the-dribble-off-your-chin adverts every ten minutes and suddenly they'd all be miwwyunayres. Park two empty-headed, vacuous sofa rats on it, get a brace of inept ex-pros to assist with the 'analysis' and hey-presto, Channel 5 can now compete with the X-Factor/BGT/The Voice with something which appeals to bleak northern shitholes far and away from the bright lights of trendy London or Manchester, the joint capitals of the world.

"So, Titus Bramble. Talk us through Hartlepool's sixth goal they conceded. Where did it all go wrong?"

"Erm, yeah. Erm, see. End-of-de-day ... see ... dey ... could uv 'eaded it aht ... see. Instead, see ... dey di-unt. See? Den, see ... de ahvour team scored. Yeah. Not good. Not good. Innit?"

"Adrian Heath ... with your managerial head on now, what can Hartlepool do now to turn round their annual battle with being the most hilariously shit team in all leagues?"

"Hartlepool? Who are they? Is that really a town?"

And so on. After the break, join us again for highlights of Crewe versus Cheltenham, where we dub crowd noise on the top of each goal to make the 2,113 crowd sound like the fucking Bernebau after Messi has just fired in an injury time winner against Real Madrid from 40 years and stood in front of the Madrid bench helicoptering his whanger whilst Neymar does a spreader nearby to the cameras.

pommpey
 
pommpey said:
I preferred the other lassie who has scarpered off back to Sky. Although she always looked like last week she was selling knitwear at Bon Marche to my nan and then someone happened by and asked her if she fancied a new life on the tellybox in exchange for a gob-job.

That show on Channel 5 is a woeful fucking embarrassment. I don't know what the pinheads were trying to do when they dreamed it up, but 'a new take on Match of the Day' it isn't. I really think that some cockend must have been tasked with creating it, watched socccer am, watched MotD and thought 'fusion'. All they needed was an 'edgy' (read: annoying, shrill and pointless) theme tune and stacks of wipe-the-dribble-off-your-chin adverts every ten minutes and suddenly they'd all be miwwyunayres. Park two empty-headed, vacuous sofa rats on it, get a brace of inept ex-pros to assist with the 'analysis' and hey-presto, Channel 5 can now compete with the X-Factor/BGT/The Voice with something which appeals to bleak northern shitholes far and away from the bright lights of trendy London or Manchester, the joint capitals of the world.

"So, Titus Bramble. Talk us through Hartlepool's sixth goal they conceded. Where did it all go wrong?"

"Erm, yeah. Erm, see. End-of-de-day ... see ... dey ... could uv 'eaded it aht ... see. Instead, see ... dey di-unt. See? Den, see ... de ahvour team scored. Yeah. Not good. Not good. Innit?"

"Adrian Heath ... with your managerial head on now, what can Hartlepool do now to turn round their annual battle with being the most hilariously shit team in all leagues?"

"Hartlepool? Who are they? Is that really a town?"

And so on. After the break, join us again for highlights of Crewe versus Cheltenham, where we dub crowd noise on the top of each goal to make the 2,113 crowd sound like the fucking Bernebau after Messi has just fired in an injury time winner against Real Madrid from 40 years and stood in front of the Madrid bench helicoptering his whanger whilst Neymar does a spreader nearby to the cameras.

pommpey
Click to expand...
You don't like it then?
 
Yellarbellyblade said:
You don't like it then?
Click to expand...

Yeah. It's ace. For the six seconds they are forced to put 'Sheffield' (as in 'Sheffield United') on to feature their long awaited escape from this division. The rest of it goes on fast forward and mute. I don't want to hear some dim bint and her featherweight 'co-presenter' roll through the motions to bring 'highlights' and 'comment' to the wilderness peasants out there in football-land. We all know, they don't give a fat rat's glans about anyone except the Premier League, and this is just a stepping stone (as we have seen) toward anchoring a better job translating Jamie Carragher's gibberish into understandable horseshit over on Sky Sports 1.

pommpey
 
pommpey said:
I preferred the other lassie who has scarpered off back to Sky. Although she always looked like last week she was selling knitwear at Bon Marche to my nan and then someone happened by and asked her if she fancied a new life on the tellybox in exchange for a gob-job.

That show on Channel 5 is a woeful fucking embarrassment. I don't know what the pinheads were trying to do when they dreamed it up, but 'a new take on Match of the Day' it isn't. I really think that some cockend must have been tasked with creating it, watched socccer am, watched MotD and thought 'fusion'. All they needed was an 'edgy' (read: annoying, shrill and pointless) theme tune and stacks of wipe-the-dribble-off-your-chin adverts every ten minutes and suddenly they'd all be miwwyunayres. Park two empty-headed, vacuous sofa rats on it, get a brace of inept ex-pros to assist with the 'analysis' and hey-presto, Channel 5 can now compete with the X-Factor/BGT/The Voice with something which appeals to bleak northern shitholes far and away from the bright lights of trendy London or Manchester, the joint capitals of the world.

"So, Titus Bramble. Talk us through Hartlepool's sixth goal they conceded. Where did it all go wrong?"

"Erm, yeah. Erm, see. End-of-de-day ... see ... dey ... could uv 'eaded it aht ... see. Instead, see ... dey di-unt. See? Den, see ... de ahvour team scored. Yeah. Not good. Not good. Innit?"

"Adrian Heath ... with your managerial head on now, what can Hartlepool do now to turn round their annual battle with being the most hilariously shit team in all leagues?"

"Hartlepool? Who are they? Is that really a town?"

And so on. After the break, join us again for highlights of Crewe versus Cheltenham, where we dub crowd noise on the top of each goal to make the 2,113 crowd sound like the fucking Bernebau after Messi has just fired in an injury time winner against Real Madrid from 40 years and stood in front of the Madrid bench helicoptering his whanger whilst Neymar does a spreader nearby to the cameras.

pommpey
Click to expand...
Kelly Cates? She's Dalglish's daughter.
 



pommpey said:
Yeah. It's ace. For the six seconds they are forced to put 'Sheffield' (as in 'Sheffield United') on to feature their long awaited escape from this division. The rest of it goes on fast forward and mute. I don't want to hear some dim bint and her featherweight 'co-presenter' roll through the motions to bring 'highlights' and 'comment' to the wilderness peasants out there in football-land. We all know, they don't give a fat rat's glans about anyone except the Premier League, and this is just a stepping stone (as we have seen) toward anchoring a better job translating Jamie Carragher's gibberish into understandable horseshit over on Sky Sports 1.

pommpey
Click to expand...

Myself I record it then fast forward to the goal highlights cutting out the crap and adverts, it's ok then. Do the same with MOTD. Saves a lot of time
 
pommpey said:
I preferred the other lassie who has scarpered off back to Sky. Although she always looked like last week she was selling knitwear at Bon Marche to my nan and then someone happened by and asked her if she fancied a new life on the tellybox in exchange for a gob-job.

That show on Channel 5 is a woeful fucking embarrassment. I don't know what the pinheads were trying to do when they dreamed it up, but 'a new take on Match of the Day' it isn't. I really think that some cockend must have been tasked with creating it, watched socccer am, watched MotD and thought 'fusion'. All they needed was an 'edgy' (read: annoying, shrill and pointless) theme tune and stacks of wipe-the-dribble-off-your-chin adverts every ten minutes and suddenly they'd all be miwwyunayres. Park two empty-headed, vacuous sofa rats on it, get a brace of inept ex-pros to assist with the 'analysis' and hey-presto, Channel 5 can now compete with the X-Factor/BGT/The Voice with something which appeals to bleak northern shitholes far and away from the bright lights of trendy London or Manchester, the joint capitals of the world.

"So, Titus Bramble. Talk us through Hartlepool's sixth goal they conceded. Where did it all go wrong?"

"Erm, yeah. Erm, see. End-of-de-day ... see ... dey ... could uv 'eaded it aht ... see. Instead, see ... dey di-unt. See? Den, see ... de ahvour team scored. Yeah. Not good. Not good. Innit?"

"Adrian Heath ... with your managerial head on now, what can Hartlepool do now to turn round their annual battle with being the most hilariously shit team in all leagues?"

"Hartlepool? Who are they? Is that really a town?"

And so on. After the break, join us again for highlights of Crewe versus Cheltenham, where we dub crowd noise on the top of each goal to make the 2,113 crowd sound like the fucking Bernebau after Messi has just fired in an injury time winner against Real Madrid from 40 years and stood in front of the Madrid bench helicoptering his whanger whilst Neymar does a spreader nearby to the cameras.

pommpey
Click to expand...

And worst of all....

They had this bellend on t'other week.

 
It's not the best TV programme ever made, but I like the show. I can see all the goals from the lower two divisions, which is something I'm interested in, in 20 minutes. It's unusual that any of the panellists say anything worth hearing but it isn't as if they are ruining the show.

Plus I like the way they have segregated leagues 1 and 2 which means that I can watch the goal rush and MOTD and never run the risk of seeing the Pigs.
 
The last decent thing on Channel 5 was one of those soft bongo films they used to show when they started broadcasting.

They make ITV2 look good, and that's some fucking task.
 
Revolution said:
It's not the best TV programme ever made, but I like the show. I can see all the goals from the lower two divisions, which is something I'm interested in, in 20 minutes. It's unusual that any of the panellists say anything worth hearing but it isn't as if they are ruining the show.

Plus I like the way they have segregated leagues 1 and 2 which means that I can watch the goal rush and MOTD and never run the risk of seeing the Pigs.
Click to expand...

Couldn't agree more. All of Division 3 contained between 10 and 10:15 and job done. In order of league position so it can all be done by 2 minutes past if I only want to watch our goals.
Way better than when they kicked it off last season with the live audience of replica shirt numpties and no particular order for the show. Watched that shite once!
 
HeCanDoMagic said:
Thing is, in this day and age, there should be a 'Match of the Day' style show for each league
Click to expand...

Actually the 'thing is', we shouldn't be in this poxy division. A 'Match of the Day' between say Scunny and Fleetwood is an oxymoron. No point trying to dress up this division like it's La Liga or something; it is the third division in the English tier.

You can put lipstick on a pig, but it is still a pig.....
 
I usually just record and watch our highlights. But Saturday I thought, first playing second, they'll give us a bit of a mention. WRONG! Not a word, ignored talk of our game completely and went on to talk for three or four minutes about Bradford and Bolton. Poor show.
 
I should coco said:
Actually the 'thing is', we shouldn't be in this poxy division. A 'Match of the Day' between say Scunny and Fleetwood is an oxymoron. No point trying to dress up this division like it's La Liga or something; it is the third division in the English tier.

You can put lipstick on a pig, but it is still a pig.....
Click to expand...
Not about dressing it up, but with all the money thrown at sports coverage, surely there should be a programme that offers at least a small amount of analysis on all English League games.
 
HeCanDoMagic said:
Not about dressing it up, but with all the money thrown at sports coverage, surely there should be a programme that offers at least a small amount of analysis on all English League games.
Click to expand...
Who'd buy it though?
 
adebo said:
What is it with goal rush offering us no credit and showing no highlights of our positive play. They didn't even discuss us and talked about bolton and Bradford. I want them to wax lyrical and scare the rest of the division as to our abilities!
Click to expand...
In fairness, they've always managed to give us a bit more airtime when we've lost, so they don't completely ignore us.
 



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