West Ham - Not Guilty?

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Dear West Ham ownists,

Put down the old and tatty copy of Razzle, the one with the pages that are stuck together, let go of the big rubber widger, take your butt plugs out, forget about trying to sign Desert Orchid from Real Madrid, stop moaning about what happened before you rolled down from Brum, and sign the cheques made payable to Sheffield United. And shut the fuck up while you do it.

Thank you. You may now go back to the "Readers' Wives" section to see if Mrs. Gold is in this month.

Love, Kevin.
 
Dear West Ham ownists,

Put down the old and tatty copy of Razzle, the one with the pages that are stuck together, let go of the big rubber widger, take your butt plugs out, forget about trying to sign Desert Orchid from Real Madrid, stop moaning about what happened before you rolled down from Brum, and sign the cheques made payable to Sheffield United. And shut the fuck up while you do it.

Thank you. You may now go back to the "Readers' Wives" section to see if Mrs. Gold is in this month.

Love, Kevin.

Sorry for being pedantic, but isn't Razzle a Paul Raymond publication?
 

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